About half the washing being done?

[PeaPeaEeByGum]

Wash needed putting on and DH got there before me. Great I think. But he has only put about half of the stuff in so I am now washing the other half, which consists almost entirely of my clothes.

He knows we have a large machine, and presumably also has some understanding that it is worse for the environment/annoying/more work to have do do 2 washes instead of 1.

AIBU to think it’s not much point and not helpful to do half the wash or should I be grateful that he made some effort?

Because I’m not grateful and I’m wondering if I’m the one with the problem.

Yes IAU

No IANU

He should’ve done a full load! What did he say when you brought it up?

He thinks he did a good thing and does not like me saying otherwise

DH has a thing about not filling the machine up too. I think it's because his dm's machine growing up flooded if you filled it too full. He hasn't totally got that as long as you can fit it in our machine then it'll be fine.

But I don't (normally) complain as at least he's doing it.

Was all the washing together?

So he washed his stuff and left your stuff out and he thinks that's ok?

I'd be having a serious conversation about the meaning of partnership asap

How would he feel if you did the same thing?

You certainly should nt be grateful, he’s a grown man who should take responsibility for at least half of the household jobs and he should do them properly. YANBU

Did he filter out all of his own clothes and wash all of his own clothes 'for you'?

I’d tell him I expect a round of applause for washing my own clothes and be leaving his in the basket from now on. What a twit.

Why did you do the other half? I'd have told him if he wants to split the washing into multiple loads, that's fine, but he can do all the loads!

Our machine doesn't always dry stuff properly if the machine is too full (we have a washer dryer) so sometimes doing two smaller loads is easier, but that doesn't mean you only do half and leave someone else to do the rest!

It would annoy me, too, so clearly YANBU. .

Like when my husband washes a dish, but doesn't get it as clean as I would... Or when he cooks, but is so careless that he makes three times the mess I would've made (and then claims he'll clean it when he's done, so I don't have to worry about it, only he rarely actually does clean it unless I remind him ).

So he actually made the job worse than if he'd not done it. Youde still had to do some washing, so he hasn't saved you a job, but now you've had to pay to run the washer twice instead of once.

Has he explained why he only did half the washing?

This is the type of stuff that would annoy me greatly in a relationship. It makes me wonder about his teamworking skills in the relationship.

My dh is obsessed with not putting too much in the washing machine. He will only put half of our king size bedding in at once otherwise he declares it "overloaded". I just get in before him and fill it up

He thinks he did a good thing? Washing his clothes? That’s a “good thing”? it’s page 1 of being a person who wears clothes- you wash them. You don’t get praised for that. No one should be grateful to you for washing your own clothes.

OP I suggest you start mirroring his behaviour. Cook half the dinner and eat it yourself then ask him if he’s grateful that you did a good thing.

You shouldn't have to be grateful for him doing the washing even if he'd done the whole lot, let alone with him wasting time and resources by just doing half of it. What was his reasoning for that?

My partner does this. Puts a wash on that just has his clothes. But apparently never realises that he does it. Okay pal. First to realise when I do a wash and if there is a hole in a sock it goes in the bin and yes I'm that petty I wash the other sock just so when he is putting washing away he is desperately trying to find his little missing sock.

I prefer to do 2 smaller washes rather then stuff the machine full. I just think the clothes wash better. Sometimes I’ll do one and leave the rest of I don’t have time.
That said I’ve never carved up the load depending on who the clothes belong to. If he left mostly your things I would be annoyed. That’s not accidental and puts the onus back on you to make sure the second load gets done.

Oh I thought you were going to say someone washed and dried it but didn't put it away, that's what doing half the washing is in our house.

We call it Arthur, as in Arthur Job (half a job). When we see a basket of clothes not put away, we shout Arthur!

He thinks he did a good thing and does not like me saying otherwise

So you should be so very appreciative at him 'helping' you by washing his own clothes so that you didn't 'have' to do it? Is that like when my neighbour 'helps' me by mowing his own lawn?

And you started a thread about this?!

@Atadaddicted

And you started a thread about this?!

And you replied to it?

Yes I did!

Weirdo. I subscribe to the "as long as you can get the door shut and the washing machine doesn't travel across the room on the spin cycle it's not too full" train of thought myself.

Who is doing the second load of washing?

Stop washing his clothes! He’s a knobhead.

@Atadaddicted

And you started a thread about this?!

Oh FFS bore off.