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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DDs father has turned into a conspiracy nut

66 replies

Shinygreenelephant · 09/07/2020 07:44

I’m really at a loss what to do here. DDs father has always been a harmless idiot - not around very much and he smoked a lot of weed in the past, but he assured me never near her, and I never felt she was unsafe with him.

However, he has suddenly started sending me long rambling messages about how God has spoken to him and sent him on a journey to spread his word, and a lot of nonsense about pedophiles af the devil mixed in. He didn’t seem able to explain himself but begged me to watch a documentary which would “open my eyes”. I’ve watched it - it’s all about how the elite are Satan worshipping pedophiles, many of whom also eat children. There’s a lot more as well, including time travel, some racist ideas, anti vax stuff and all about how Covid is a hoax.

I’ve now looked at his SM - don’t follow him but it’s public - and he’s made comments on these conspiracy videos saying things like “this is the end of days” and “we must save the children whatever it takes” and “even if we die in the fight this cannot carry on”.

This has come out of nowhere and I can only imagine that the weed has finally got to him and he’s had some sort of mental break. He keeps saying he know he seems crazy but it’s the rest of the world who are blind and need to take the red pill. I’ve begged him to speak to a doctor but he won’t and is insistent that he is fine and it’s the rest of us who are crazy.

Am I being unreasonable to keep DD away from him until he gets some kind of help? I just don’t feel she’s safe with the kind of statements he’s making, and I don’t want her hearing stuff like this and worrying. She’s 11 and very perceptive. She only sees him sporadically anyway (once or twice a month) so I can put it off for a while without her knowing anything is up. Is that wrong? What would anyone else do?

OP posts:

Destroyedpeople · 09/07/2020 07:47

It does sound as though he is having some kind of breakdown tbh.
I would put it off . If I still cared for him at all I might try and get his parents or siblings aware of his situation.

Dillydallyingthrough · 09/07/2020 07:50

It sounds like he is having a mental health crisis. I normally never advocate a child but seeing their parent, bit in this case I really think you need to stop contact for her own safety. I would also screenshot his messages and SM, it sounds unlikely he will go through court for access but if he does then you have proof of his unstable state of mind. How will he it? That is also something to consider carefully, does your DD have a phone?

KarmaKamel · 09/07/2020 07:53

Considering he’s mentioning children a lot in his ramblings along with end of days, dying, “saving the children no matter what etc. I would ABSOLUTELY keep DD well away from him. He very much sounds like a threat to her now. Even if in his eyes he’s ‘saving’ her.

Velvian · 09/07/2020 08:01

I agree with contacting his family and potentially social services through your local County Council, both for advice on DD and possible intervention for him.

Absolutely keep DD away from him at present.

Velvian · 09/07/2020 08:02

Avoid telling him that you are keeping DD away from him due to the nature of the conspiracies.

paap1975 · 09/07/2020 08:12

Screenshots and consult social services and/or NSPCC for advice.
Sounds like the weed may have got to him...

Original poster

Shinygreenelephant · 09/07/2020 08:17

Thank you for replies. Think I will speak to his mum today and see if she can help. DD has a phone but I’ve told him if he sends her any weird messages I’ll block him and I’ve been checking. I’ve also been finding excuses to meet her from school just in case (Which she finds highly embarrassing), and may warn the school - I can’t really imagine him turning up or trying to take her but I would rather be overprotective than risk anything happening. I feel so on edge and just cannot believe this is coming from him

OP posts:

AvoidingRealHumans · 09/07/2020 08:22

One of my cousins is like this and has the same views.
Rambles on and on with very strong views and anyone who dares question it is a sheep and needs to educate themselves. Its actually very scary but I think once they get hooked they watch more and more things to validate their opinions and it gets worse.

Funnily enough, the only conspiracist nutters I come across like this all smoke weed.
My cousin has epilepsy and is self treating with cannabis as she thinks Drs are out to kill us.

I would definitely keep your daughter away from him, even if he is no danger to her which I don't think he is from what you've said, he will try and impose his views on her and it can be quite scary when they go off on one.

KaptainKaveman · 09/07/2020 08:24

Unfortunately this does sound like weed induced psychosis.

GrannyBags · 09/07/2020 08:28

Please do warn the school - we had a whole Safeguarding issue unravel because the staff hadn’t been told that Dad was not to pick child up.

dottiedodah · 09/07/2020 08:29

I think ATM Conspiracy Theories are having their "moment" as it were! The Covid Crisis has made people who are a little bit "out there" somewhat worse! From 5G to a hoax and everywhere in between. I think you are right to be wary TBH .Cannabis makes you paranoid anyway . See if you can speak to his DM about it .

malificent7 · 09/07/2020 08:33

Yes...this is why weed is such a dangerous drug. Yanbu.

Whathewhatnow · 09/07/2020 08:33

Definitely right to be wary. Agree it sounds like classic weed-induced psychosis. Has he had a lot of free time on his hands as a result of COVID?

Theimpossiblegirl · 09/07/2020 08:40

Follow your own advice, your instincts are spot on. The 'saving the children
Keep her away from him, alert his family and tell the school.

Theimpossiblegirl · 09/07/2020 08:41

*the saving the children comment gave me a chill

bagpuss90 · 09/07/2020 08:59

My friend is spouting all this end days crap too. She bangs on about how it’s her duty as my friend to save me-as I’ve been brain washed 😳Apparently I will have the mark 666 on me sometime soon. Incidentally she doesn’t smoke weed 🤷‍♀️

Beebeet · 09/07/2020 09:02

Yep, agree with others. It sounds beyond just having looked at YouTube and finding some conspiracy theories plausible. He needs help, but obviously it's awkward as you can't force that for him. I would keep your DD away though for the time being, not sure legally how that works, but for her safety as you have been ensuring, he shouldn't be left alone with her until he seeks some support.

Kitsandkids · 09/07/2020 09:11

An ex friend of my husband turned like this. Started to put more and more rambling posts on FB about how vaccinations were evil, the government were out to kill people, he was the only one who knew the truth blah blah blah. He smoked a lot of weed and we absolutely put his behaviour down to that. He seemed to disappear for a while and lost touch with his 2 kids but last I heard he seems to have stopped spouting his nonsense and is back in touch with them so I hope that means he’s stopped taking drugs.

ohbloodyell · 09/07/2020 09:26

Keep her away if you can.

You're lucky unlike me. My partner smokes a lot of weed too but he lives with me and our pre schooler. He too keeps talking about the elite, pedophilia and God, but references the Quran in this case. Hes just recently converted to Islam and keeps going on about how dangerous feminism and western culture is. He is British, born and raised. Makes no sense other than the weed is screwing him up. Hes happy to get a shag from me though. Very Islamic he is.

BeeFarseer · 09/07/2020 09:32

Please keep her away for now, and tell the school. Agreeing with all other posters that this sounds like psychosis.

A family member of mine has suffered from this, badly, and the fallout was awful. Luckily he is recovered now so it is possible, but the nature of the illness means it's very difficult to persuade the affected person to seek help which is why it is so important that you do all you can to protect your daughter.

Veterinari · 09/07/2020 09:35

It could be psychosis or even schizophrenia (though that usually occurs early-mid 20s)

Seek advice through Mind, other mental health charities and report to social services. This is a huge safeguarding issue for your DD.

Veterinari · 09/07/2020 09:37

@ohbloodyell

Please kick him out/leave.
It's not a safe environment for you or your children

FarquarKumquatsmama · 09/07/2020 09:43

One of the most popular threads on Reddit over the last couple of days links to a documentary about how the elite and many celebrities are satan worshippers. I watched a few minutes of the doctors myself. It had hundreds of thousands of views so he is not alone in thinking this.
Having said that, he does seem to be taking it excessively seriously which is worrying.

FarquarKumquatsmama · 09/07/2020 09:44

*documentary not doctors ( although maybe one would be helpful)

TheBusDriver · 09/07/2020 09:53

This is no reason to keep your DD away from their father. I feel that you have been looking for excuses to do this and have now found something you disagree with.

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