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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is unfair to my DD14 (school work)

138 replies

PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 07:07

I had a call last night from my daughters teacher to ask why my DS has not joined a google classroom for one of her subjects. Long story short, she had been missed off the invitation email to join the classroom and so she wasn’t aware there was even a classroom on it.

Her teacher confirmed she had been missed off the email invitation but followed it up with ‘she could have asked’ and now expects her to complete any missed work and assignments over the summer holidays.

My DD has really struggled with online learning and has problems with depression (pre lockdown), she is awaiting an assessment from the child mental health services team. She is going to be devastated, as she was so relieved to reach the summer holidays.

This teacher is the same teacher for one of her other classes and acknowledged that she had been doing all her work for that class. I don’t understand what took him nearly 6 weeks to phone me and let me know about this.

My DD moved from S2 to S3 whilst in lockdown and they have only just been given their new timetables despite S3 classes starting online 6 weeks ago. This class is one of the new ones from moving into S3.

She is going to have to do the work as I don’t want her to be behind once school resumes but AIBU to think that this should have been picked up way before now and to feel the teacher is passing the blame onto my daughter a bit? He also said that the children can’t get hold of him by email, only by private comment in the classroom for their class, so I’m not sure how he thinks ‘she could have asked?’

OP posts:
DollyMixtureLulus · 09/07/2020 07:54

Well clearly something isn’t adding up, as you’re complaining about a phone call but then post a screenshot of an email. You’ve also left in the purple font of your original email to the teacher.

It’s the summer holidays. Cool your jets.

larrygrylls · 09/07/2020 07:54

Labyrinth,

Of course the teacher ‘got it wrong’, as in made a mistake on an e mail list and did not notice, for a few weeks, that a pupil had failed to log on to google classroom. (Formal registers are tricky at the moment).

The teacher should have apologised, but the OP’s daughter still needs to do the work or she will be left behind in a ‘building blocks’ subject.

larrygrylls · 09/07/2020 07:56

Purple,

Simple question.

What do you want to happen?

Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 07:57

This is the full email, now I have worked out how to take a proper screenshot!

To think this is unfair to my DD14 (school work)
OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 08:00

The teacher called me first, then sent an email once he had taken my email address. He emailed to ask me to let him know what my DD said and I replied saying she wasn’t aware there was a classroom for physics, he then replied with the posted screenshot. Nothing going on at all.

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 09/07/2020 08:01

The teacher should have noticed she wasn't sending back work and you/your dd should have noticed/questioned that she wasn't in a classroom/getting any work for a whole subject. Either way it doesn't really matter now, you can't change what has happened.

Concentrate on looking forward. Work out how many hours are needed to cover the work and work out a plan with your dd when to do it. Let her decide if she will spread it over the 6 weeks of holidays, or do now over 3 weeks and have 3 weeks clear off etc.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/07/2020 08:01

This whole virtual learning thing is inevitably going to have people fall through the cracks. I imagine being a new pupil makes you more vulnerable.

I'd just get her to do the minimum so she won't be disadvantaged next year.

Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 08:02

@larrygrylls I have already answered this, I don’t want anything to happen as I appreciate mistakes happen. I just don’t like the teacher laying blame on my DD.

OP posts:
OfTheNight · 09/07/2020 08:02

It was unfair of him to suggest your DD asked about the session - she’s new to the subject and obviously didn’t know. You’ve agreed she should do the work - which is right, it benefits her. I hope the teacher is allowing plenty of time for her to complete the work as it wasn’t her fault she missed it.

I’d maybe drop him an email though and say, while she will complete the work, really the onus was on the teacher to check he’d invited all the relevant students. The teacher made a mistake not your daughter.

RedskyAtnight · 09/07/2020 08:02

My DD is the same age. If she'd been missed off the list for one of her subjects and therefore hadn't been getting/doing any of the work I would absolutely have expected her to notice and follow up with the teacher (you say she couldn't contact the teacher via email but then say she had other lessons with this teacher ... or she could have contacted her personal tutor, head of year, school office ...) I don't believe that a child of this age genuinely didn't realise she wasn't getting any work for one subject and just decided that this meant there wasn't any. If nothing else, didn't she mention it to her friends?

I agree the teacher should also have spotted, however, if it's like DC's school there are a variety of children not engaging or partly engaging at various levels so it's hard for an individual teacher to know if a particular student is not engaging because they are struggling with the tech/not engaging because they can't be bothered/are engaging but not completing all the work etc.

TBH, paricularly if your DD has mental health issues and you know she is struggling - why didn't you pick up on this yourself? If my daughter had no work in one subject for 6 weeks, I would have been asking why.

larrygrylls · 09/07/2020 08:04

Purple,

That is actually quite a nice e mail with an apology. There is no insistence that she complete the work over the holiday. The Head of Science is just saying it won’t be covered again so that she needs to put herself in a position to progress.

Education is not a battle between school and parents, it is a collaborative effort to allow a pupil to fulfil their potential.

State schools function on about 5-6k/pupil/annum. It is a pittance. Good teachers (especially in Maths and Science) are woefully underpaid for their work effort and education.

Again, what resolution do you want to this?

larrygrylls · 09/07/2020 08:05

Cross posted with your previous post

Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 08:06

@RedskyAtnight I didn’t say I don’t have any blame in this, I absolutely should have noticed and my only excuse for not is the fact that her subjects were chosen months ago and I actually forgot she had even chosen this particular subject. I didn’t write down a list of the ones she had chosen as I was expecting a normal school year where they go to school, go to their classes and come home with homework. I also find the google classroom quite confusing, there is heaps of classrooms she is in so usually I just go to the to do part and we work through that.

OP posts:
rainbringsjoytome · 09/07/2020 08:11

If he was really apologising he would have just stopped after the apology.

It was his mistake.

Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 08:12

@larrygrylls it’s a perfectly acceptable email, the only part I take issue with is where he apologises for my DD being missed off the list and then immediately follows with ‘but she could have got in touch’. Well yes she could have but when you apologise for something but follow it up with a ‘they could have done this’ it’s not really an apology is it? I would actually rather he had said ‘but you could of noticed’ as in me, rather than my DD. She isn’t to blame here and like I said, worked very hard to clear all her work before the summer holidays began. She is not a shirker by any means, she was head girl of her primary school and has always applied herself.

I won’t show her the email anyways, there is no need for her to know as it will just upset her even more once I break the news that she needs to do this work.

OP posts:
astuz · 09/07/2020 08:13

One of the reasons she may have fallen through the cracks, may be due to her health issues, if they are known about by the school.

When we notice that a child is not completing work, or has not logged on to google classroom, we've had to hold off on contacting them, in case there are safeguarding issues/health issues. Instead of contacting them directly, we've had to flag it up with the pastoral team and they make the first contact, especially if the child is already known to either have health issues or be in a difficult home situation. Sometimes, we are then told not to contact the child, due to a delicate situation at home, other times, we are later given the green light to chase them for work.

Just a possibility for why it's taken so long to be picked up on

SoupDragon · 09/07/2020 08:14

My DD is the same age. If she'd been missed off the list for one of her subjects and therefore hadn't been getting/doing any of the work I would absolutely have expected her to notice

The teacher is considerably older. I would have expected him to notice right away, realise something was amiss and fix it.

sonjadog · 09/07/2020 08:20

I don´t think that email is that bad. I think you are reading it with the worst possible interpretation. I would do nothing about it. Just let it go.

Regarding the work, leave it for a while and let your daughter enjoy her holiday and look at it a couple of weeks before she goes back to school again.

Rosebel · 09/07/2020 08:22

You all must have a different experience of home schooling. I don't know how often different work is set, I don't keep a note of it.
We log on every day and my children do the work set. I'm not expecting them to realise one teacher hasn't set any work for a few weeks.
The teacher obviously didn't do it on purpose but it's still his fault. How could she get in touch if she didn't know? Why didn't the teacher notice sooner?
Unfortunately due to her age I think you're right and she'll have to complete the work but if it's only one subject it shouldn't take much time out of the summer holidays.

Villanemme · 09/07/2020 08:24

I would stop picking holes in the email. Maybe make a suggestion to the school that email lists are checked to see if it has happened to anyone else. Unfortunately your dd is going to have to do some catch-up work to be September ready.

Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 08:26

@Rosebel yes that’s how we do it too. She still has all her S2 classes on there as well as all the S3 classes so it’s a muddle and not easy to work out what’s what. Easier just to click on the to do part and it shows what’s due for the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
PurpleThistles84 · 09/07/2020 08:29

I know the email isn’t really that bad, it’s just when you have seen how hard your DD has worked whilst coping with depression and lock down in general, it’s hard not to get defensive. Thanks for all the replies anyways, it’s nice to know I’m not being totally unreasonable. I think I will leave it a couple of weeks of the holiday then get started on helping her get it done.

OP posts:
RedskyAtnight · 09/07/2020 08:35

Rosebel
Depends on how the school operates.
DD has work set for every subject in her normal timetable every day (sometimes the work set is very minimal, or the teacher just says "finish what you were doing last lesson" or "make sure your notes are up to date" but there's always something posted).
If one teacher didn't post anything she would notice straight away.

I also didn't read the email as blaming OP's DD. He was more pointing out that she shouldn't just sit back and wait for a mistake to be corrected but be a bit more proactive.

OP's DD sounds very conscientious. If this had been my DS at this age, he would be absolutely gleeful that a teacher was not setting any work (despite all his classmates getting it) and keeping a running count of how many days he was "getting away" with it. (if I wasn't also checking up myself, which I would have been). Teacher does not necessarily know what type of student OP's DD is.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 09/07/2020 08:35

I’d have expected most 14 yo to notice. Particularly a subject like science.

wowhagaian · 09/07/2020 08:45

At the end of the day what will be more stressful for her OP? Doing this work over the holidays or not doing it and being behind when everyone starts back properly? It wasn't idea she was missed off but to be honest I would have expected her to notice she was missing a subject. Especially a compulsory one like science. Not sure what the people who are saying 'escalate it' expect to happen - if they say she doesn't need to do it then she will be behind when she goes back, which I think would be more stressful.