Relationship

[Fedup501]

Would any one be happy if your partners grown up children use your car to pick up his ex wife and he thinks it acceptable

Are they insured?

So your partners kids used it to pick up their mum you mean?
Guessing they dont have cars, nor her?
I mean, if you let them use it i dont think you can dictate what they use it for. So if it bothered me i would prob not allow it anymore, but depends i guess.
Why does it bother you? Out of interest?x

No one drives my car so it would be a non issue. If they took it anyway they would be facing charges

Kids picking up their mother in car? No problem at all.

As long as kids are insured, and Ex isn't abusive to new partner.

Would depend how they got hold of your car, were they given the keys, is the problem that they are your partners children, where was the ex wife?

So many questions, not enough detail in the OP

You have to be a bit more clear. Would I be OK with my adult SS borrowing my car to pick their mother up from somewhere? Yes that would be fine with me if they were insured, were a competent driver and I didn't need the car myself at the time

If they had permission to use my car, were insured, and keeping any agreement I had about petrol costs, picking up their mum is fine. Emptying a petrol tank without asking to help someone who does not treat the car owner respectfully...
Might have an issue with that.

Stop calling their mother his ex wife.
That’s your problem.
You’re defining the passenger in their relationship to your boyfriend - not their relationship to his children.
If I lend my car, I lend my car. As long as what you’re doing is legal, moral and safe, I don’t care.
Doughnuts in Sainsbury’s car park at 02:00 - no.
Picking up your mum - yes.

You’re going to have to actually use your words here OP

It bothers me cause I think it is disrespectful of them to use our car for picking her up but my other half thinks its fine so allows it - my kids would never do that after borrowing my car

What's your problem with the ex-wife and how does them picking up their own mother disrespect you?

Why would it be disrespectful? Should her children go and hire a vehicle specially so that she doesn't have to sit in her ex-husband's car? What do you think she's going to do, contaminate it?

No, you’re still going to have to use your words.

This makes little sense.

In the OP it’s “my car” now it’s “our car”. Whose car is it?
Why do you have a problem with your boyfriend’s children giving their mum a lift?

You just sound like (a) you’re not good at explaining and (b) you have jealousy issues

Have we got a whole backstory to come?

Sounds like a bit of a petty thing to worry about to me!!

OP I think you’re being unreasonable here. She is their MUM! Why would they not be able to pick her up? Why does it matter whose car it is as long as they are insured?

What’s the backstory?

Because all I’m getting is they’ve given their mum a lift which I couldn’t really get excited about...

And you say your kids wouldn’t do it...
How badly have you fucked up handling your own split, that your poor kids would have to say, “sorry dad - we can’t pick you up. You know how mum still is about you being in her car ”. Way to drag your kids into it!!

You’ve got me musing about situations where I’d agree it’s disrespectful.

• if I spent my stepchildren’s teens ferrying them about, needed one urgent lift to a hospital appointment, they said no as they weren’t confident to drive with a passenger. Then I found out they’d taken their mum for a joyride in it whilst I was waiting at the bus stop on crutches... yeah, that would be disrespectful.

I dont get it...

It bothers me cause I think it is disrespectful of them to use our car for picking her up

Why on Earth is it disrespectful - are you concerned that she would feel disrespected being picked up in your car?

I don't think this thread will go well for you OP....

I'm not seeing any problem here. She's sitting in a car when you're not even there - grow up.

Wouldn’t bother me at all, in fact I’d offer the car 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think its you that has the problem not them. Get a grip

Is your relationship quite new? You don’t seem to hold a lot of resentment towards the mother of your partner’s children.

I do sort of see your point it is a bit odd...unless it was an emergency or something urgent surely she can make her own lift arrangements that don’t involve your car? If it bothers you that much just don’t let them borrow your car in future but I wouldn’t say thats the reason why if I were you.