Thinking about getting a radar key

[Woodlandtree]

DD(19) has had a difficult few weeks. When opening her bowels she passes blood, has diarrhoea and often has a great urgency to go. DD is waiting to see a specialist and until then isn’t receiving any treatment.

Would I be unreasonable to get DD a radar key in case there are queues to the toilet when we are out (she rarely goes out as she’s worried she will need the toilet)? Or are the disabled toilets not for those with conditions like DD? DD would be mortified if challenged so I want to see what the general opinion is.

[quote Leolion09]@TinnedPearsForPudding people like you wind me up, you can change a child most places but I can only go in an accessible toilet, the amount of times I've nearly had an accident because people are faffing in their with their kids it's actually not on. So let's not encourage people to mis use facilities.
The OP however I think it's a good idea for your daughter to get one, even if you never use it it's piece of mind[/quote]
So sorry that I wind you up. If changing facilities are provided then I will use them in favour of changing a baby on the floor of a public toilet. Yes, changing facilities should be in the "main" toilets, but often they are not.
By all means take it up with the owners or managers of the facilities but I will continue (or rather did before DS was toilet trained) to use the facilities provided.
In many coffee shops all the toilets & changing facilities are locked with a raft key....should I have changed a poo filled nappy on the table next to other customers?

@TheNighthawk

You have to be registered disabled to get one. They are not for temporary disabilities.

There is no such thing as ‘registered disabled’.

Anyone can buy one who needs one.

Argos sell them for £5.99

What @iffymiffy said is absolutely correct. There is no longer a disabled register. People can be diagnosed with a condition which disables them in some (or various) ways. That is why when there are forms/surveys etc just like they ask you what your ethnicity, age group etc are, they will ask "do you consider yourself disabled?" Person A with x condition may find it impacts them so much they consider themselves to have a disability. They may claim PIP/DLA/Attendence allowance if they need it, or they may not. Person B with exact same diagnosis may function better or just not see themselves as disabled or needing nay adjustments.

When I went to the local mobility equipment shop for my radar key, I asked them whether I needed to show a doctors note and the shop assistent said "No, because sometimes we have people come in who may not have a permanent disability or their issue may be age related etc so anyone can buy a key without proof. " What he went on to say though is that you can only get VAT off purchasing the key if you have a diagnosis/ or are under doctor/ or were registered disabled in the days when it was a thing to be registered as disabled. So I got VAT off mine and the OP's daughter probably could also

@iffymiffy, just to split hairs, my preteen DD is ‘registered’ blind and is therefore disabled.

Also, can I say how crap it is for the able-bodied here to be taking advantage of a scheme designed to help meet the needs of disabled people, because they think they are too important to queue for facilities like those of us who are lucky enough not to have any disabilities?

Yes get one. My son can use the toilet independently but I can’t let him go into the men’s alone as he has severe learning disabilities so I always use the disabled loo when we’re out.

Sounds like Crohns or ulcerative colitis. You can get a radar key as a member from Crohns and colitis.org

Agree with all the others you should get one.

@TinnedPearsForPudding you should be ashamed of yourself. If the baby change facilities are in the disabled loos (which they often are, for reasons that are understandable if hard on people with continence issues) then the staff can open them for you like for others.

I've had 4dcs and never needed a radar key for nappy changes, but have had to care for an adult man who shat himself and his tears of shame while waiting for a family taking bloody forever in a disabled toilet. Yes, I'd choose changing a baby, on a mat, on a lavatory floor over that.

Get one & don’t feel guilty. I’ve had IBS for years which has gradually got worse, like your DD I frequently end up in terrible pain, shitting blood & diarrhoea if I can’t access a loo at short notice. I have almost no bowel sensation until it’s nearly too late, so it happens a lot. A family member got a radar key for me, they considered that they need one less than I do - they get disability benefits. I’ve since (finally) been assessed as disabled. I look completely healthy - when I’m well enough to be out.

If anyone tells me I don’t “look disabled” I generally reply that they don’t look like a doctor... I’ve given up being polite to people who CBA to be polite to me.

You have to be registered disabled to get one

There is no such thing. Why do people make such things up?

OP, I wouldn’t necessarily have a problem with someone getting one in your situation but we’ve had one ten years and only needed to use it a few times. The number of radar locks on accessible toilets are vanishingly small. Also, wherever there is a lock, you can get a key from staff.

If changing facilities are provided then I will use them in favour of changing a baby on the floor of a public toilet. Yes, changing facilities should be in the "main" toilets, but often they are not.

I agree with this. It annoys me intensely that we have to wait for a baby to be changed to be able to use a toilet, especially as that often isn’t a quick process, and the room is always left with an overflowing bin full of shitty nappies. But, I would never blame the parents who use them, it’s an issue for management. No parent should feel guilty about using a baby change in a disabled toilet.

Whoopsmahoot that’s what the GP has referred her for further investigation for.

we have 5.was 99p each off ebay no idea how much them are now as we have had them for years now

both adults have 1 each on a key ring,there are 2 spare in the car and i have one in my bag
they open all toilets in england and wales(only place we have tried)

both my boys have numerous disabilities each and are not registered anywhere,even though they get high dla each and have a blue disability badge each

we use it for autism as they cant cope with normal toilets,noise and other people will cause distress.

quite honestly ive never given a shit what people thought/think.if we need to use them i bloody well will and yes i have had a few run ins over the years.the best response is they dont look disabled enough

OH has severe ulcerative colitis and his consultant recommended he get a radar key.

He’s never had to use it, as has always had access to another toilet (he’s able bodied) but it’s reassuring for him to carry it

@Stuckforthefourthtime

Agree with all the others you should get one.

@TinnedPearsForPudding you should be ashamed of yourself. If the baby change facilities are in the disabled loos (which they often are, for reasons that are understandable if hard on people with continence issues) then the staff can open them for you like for others.

I've had 4dcs and never needed a radar key for nappy changes, but have had to care for an adult man who shat himself and his tears of shame while waiting for a family taking bloody forever in a disabled toilet. Yes, I'd choose changing a baby, on a mat, on a lavatory floor over that.

Sorry this is absolute bulshit. No one would chose to change their baby on a disgusting toilet floor if there were baby change facilities available, and even if only in the disabled loo.

@TinnedPearsForPudding is doing nothing wrong using these offered facilities to change her child. Yes it is sad that the man had to wait but if there was another disabled person in there he would still have had to wait. Why slam a mother changing her baby?

Maybe you should petition for disabled toilets not to be shared with nappy changing facilities.

get one. I got one online for DS1 who has autism and when he was younger simply could not cope with the sound of hand driers. It was hell to be in a regular toilet with cubicles.

We never use it now because he is 11 and his terror of the sound sof hand drier is over.

I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter’s suffering OP. It sounds like she has either Crohns or Ulcerative Colitis. I have severe UC myself so know what terrible conditions these are, but once on the right treatments and well managed, most are able to live very normally There’s a very good website by Crohns & Colitis UK with lots of info on diagnosis and treatments, and you’ll be able to apply there for a ‘can’t wait’ card, and a radar key, which comes with membership - it’s about £30 a year. There’a also a great Facebook forum as well if you search Crohns & Colitis UK. Best of luck.

Yes it's a good idea but I think you need a diagnosis and it to be a longer term condition to get a key.

If she needs one then get one.

Some people just love to have the authority on something, even if it's as unglamorous and mundane as disabled toilets.

Get one - mu DH has ulcerative colitis and often needs to go very urgently.

It's been a godsend.

Yes I think your DD should have one. You don’t need to prove you are registered disabled, that isn’t true at all, your DD has medical need to use a toilet urgently. Buy a key.

Buy an official one from disability rights, sometimes copies do not work.

I use one for a similar reason.

I have one (hidden condition until it strikes.) and so does my son who has ASD and Ulcerative Colitis... He developed it at 20, and had a year of horrible problems (and accidents) until he was finally sent for a colonoscopy and diagnosed. Was on treatment the very next day and after a few months spent getting the meds right and some steroids, he is SO much better now, so it can be controlled. Unfortunately your daughter is peak age for diagnosis, so hope it isn't but it is sortable! Get a key!

I am shocked that anyone can just go out and buy a key to open Disabled toilets. That is absolutely appalling and must mean a lot of misuse! I do think the OP’s daughter should have one as she has a genuine disability, but there should be a process to apply and receive an official one, not just buy one off eBay, Amazon etc! What is the point of having disabled toilets, if just anyone can get a key to use them? It just means that those who really need them can’t get in them in time, because they are being misused!

It is ridiculous to have nappy changing facilities in disabled toilets as being a baby is not a disability, though I do know that some babies/young children may be disabled.