To put 2 year old in nursery when I'm a SAHM?

[baryonyxcake]

I'm not sure why but I feel a bit bad/judged maybe?

Currently a SAHM, started my qualification to enable me to retrain and work ASAP when dcs are in school.

3.5 year old currently in nursery 2 days a week.

Just turned 2 year old not currently in nursery but thinking of booking him in soon for 2 days also. Relatives were a bit because I'm at home and I thought it would be best to put them in on separate days to get some decent one to one time with each child.

3.5 year old is quite "behind" peers due to serious hearing issues (now corrected) and whenever I try to sit down and teach him things, play a game including numbers, letters etc he's finally on board but youngest destroys everything and it is literally becoming impossible. It's dawned on me that it won't be long before he's in school and I feel he needs that support from me to help him gain some confidence in these areas.

AIBU? Maybe I'm missing something but I'm not sure why it's any different to eldest dc going to nursery. Maybe it's the idea of separating them for 4 days a week?

I'm not sure how else to get around it and the social interaction will surely be great for 2 year old.

Ignore your relations. It is about what you think is best to help your individual children to develop. If using outside childcare is it then do it.

Here most 2 year olds do 2-3 mornings at nursery. I would be v rare to wait until 3

Sounds very sensible. You'll be able to give the older child the 1-1 attention and the younger will get socialisation with other children. Win-win situation.

I wouldn't hesitate in your situation. I am not a SAHM myself but I know lots of people who are and their kids all go to nursery for up to two days a week.

Do what you think is best for your family. I became a SAHM when DD was 2 yrs old and kept her in nursery two days a week. It made me a much better Mum and she got to continue her friendships.

You need time to study, and now your eldest needs 1 on 1 time. I think it’s a great idea for youngest to have his own preschool/nursery time to socialise so you don’t have to worry about that too.

My two year old has recently started two days a week and this time next year I’ll be putting his brother in while only be 19 months. I’m a SAHM and intend to be until they start school - i see nursery as a good socialisation for them and them learning the ‘rules’ of how to behave when mums not around.

I’m due to go on mat leave soon and will he sending my 2 year old to nursery 2/3 mornings a week so I get some one to one time with the baby and he gets to socialise. He’s never been before as we’ve had a nanny for him up to now. I think it will be a great experience for him and I can absolutely see why you’d want to do it to spend time with your eldest.

I don't think nursery at two is that important in terms of socialising - my two year old hated childcare at that age (only started to like it from about 3) and much preferred seeing other kids with me and other mums there- eg at toddler groups (I imagine these aren't running currently though ) or meet ups with mum friends, BUT I do think it would benefit your older child to have 1:1 time with you so that's a very good reason for your younger child to do some sessions at nursery .

If I were you I would consider part-staggering their days, eg Monday 2yo, Tues both, Weds 3yo so each gets a 1 on 1 day and you get a day with both in nursery to study/catch your breath.

I sent ds 2 mornings a week then promptly upped it to 4 mornings a week. I’m a much better mother if I get a few hours break and he really benefited from nursery. So go for it

Yanbu

Mine started nursery on their second birthday......9-12.....it enabled me to work but I would have done it regardless.
You don't have to justify anything to anyone.
They are your children so it is your choice.
See how it goes and I hope that you enjoy it.
Mine was peeled of my leg every morning but he still had a great time when he was there.

Hi @baryonyxcake ignore your relatives (in the nicest possible way) great idea to have some 1-2-1 time with each child and specifically you can help your eldest. I'm assuming he's going to school September 2021, so don't forget that from September this year nursery will start all the Early Years Foundation curriculum with him and there will be such a vast range of abilities of children in Reception class too, so don't worry too much about him being behind.

Go for it.

Don’t look back! You know best for your own children(and for you).

Ignore the relatives. And also book them in a day together while you get some me time!

Totally valid reasoning in my opinion. 1-1 time with each child is important and I think you sound well balanced and want the best for each child. Go with that and don’t listen to your relatives!

I did with both my children. I’m glad I did, the socialisation was good for them. Both turn out to be autistic so I really think it helped with that too.

YANBU at all.
I was going to suggest the same thing as OrangeGin: send them on the same day for one day a week, then on different days for the second day. That way, you'll get one day to yourself, one day with each of them alone, and two days with both of them. Perfect

I think your plan is a really lovely idea, getting one to one time with both DC would be wonderful.

You are not being unreasonable.

I think you should go for it. 1:1 time is priceless, and it sounds like it would really help your older child too. Bollocks to anyone who judges you, you know what's best for you, your kids, and your family.

Do whatever feels right for you. Ignore the judgers. Motherhood is a long road so claim your space now. Good luck.

I’m a sahm and my ds has been going 2 days a week since he was 1. It gives me a day off to do as I please and a day to do cleaning, shopping ect. It has also done him the world of good. Go for it.