To put 2 year old in nursery when I'm a SAHM?

[baryonyxcake]

I'm not sure why but I feel a bit bad/judged maybe?

Currently a SAHM, started my qualification to enable me to retrain and work ASAP when dcs are in school.

3.5 year old currently in nursery 2 days a week.

Just turned 2 year old not currently in nursery but thinking of booking him in soon for 2 days also. Relatives were a bit because I'm at home and I thought it would be best to put them in on separate days to get some decent one to one time with each child.

3.5 year old is quite "behind" peers due to serious hearing issues (now corrected) and whenever I try to sit down and teach him things, play a game including numbers, letters etc he's finally on board but youngest destroys everything and it is literally becoming impossible. It's dawned on me that it won't be long before he's in school and I feel he needs that support from me to help him gain some confidence in these areas.

AIBU? Maybe I'm missing something but I'm not sure why it's any different to eldest dc going to nursery. Maybe it's the idea of separating them for 4 days a week?

I'm not sure how else to get around it and the social interaction will surely be great for 2 year old.

I think nursery is fine for a 2 yr old, and it sounds ideal in your situation. However can a 3.5 year old really be behind their peers in an academic way? Maybe just enjoy some chatting and reading together, maybe also baking etc rather than worrying about numbers and letters

You know best. Not your relatives.

your decision, not your relatives.
Have you done the maths and can afford it? With being a sahm, you won't get help with childcare under UC or TCs in case you were counting on that.

Thanks all for your replies. I'm definitely going to carry on as planned and get him booked in. I did think of having one day to myself but in all honesty I find the days with both of them vs one so chaotic, I think I'd rather carry on studying in the evenings and weekends.

Appreciate the advice, I shall ignore all raised eyebrows.

I'd definitely put him in for two days but I'd have one day overlap with your older child so you get one day to devote to each child and one day for yourself - yes you do totally deserve it! Then you have two days with them together. Lovely.

If you were my friend round for a brew I'd be telling you that I didn't get why you'd do things that way. It wouldn't be meant as judgement as is up to you, just voicing an opinion. My friend would explain, and then I'd say OK. If you get on with family members in question then that's probably what they're doing.

Just to explain my view, I don't really understand why you'd pay for so much childcare when you're at home. Personally don't think 2yo really benefit from nursery, I think being with family and attending either play groups, outings or playing with friends is better at that young age. My personal ethos I wouldn't be worried about a 3yo being behind, they will learn each letter in turn at reception and how to blend to words, he'll take to it much better in a group. And in reception year the aim by the end of the year is to do numbers 1-20 forward and backwards and then simple sums one more and one less using a number line, he doesn't need to know any more than basic number recognition before he starts. If I was putting them in nursery I'd be doing it on a day to overlap so that I got some child free time.

But I'd just chat this through with a friend, they'd explain their reasoning, I'd say fair enough, and that's that!

Hi op,

I have exactly this challenge, dc1 had hearing problems and fell behind. I have both in Creche ( I work full time) and was hoping to take dc1 out to do some 1:1, unfortunately dc2 is devastated and can't cope if dc1 is not there (they are in the same room at Creche). I am hoping this will pass, it is lovely they are so attached but it has upset my plan.

Sorry if that comes across as negative, I think what you are doing is great.

With my first two, there was a 16-month gap and we had moved to an area with no family or friends support. I put my 2 year old DS into pre-school 2 mornings a week for the different interaction for him (toddler groups didn't work well for us!) and to spend some one on one time with my DD. My DH worked long hours and DS was very full on and up at 5am every day, and I worked from home in the evenings, so just having a 1-year old a couple of times a week felt like respite!
I went back to work when DD was 2.5.
Fast forward several years and I have a 1-year old and I already have her booked to do 5 mornings at pre-school when she is 2.5 so I can spend 6 months upskilling and job searching before her free hours kick in.
People have all sorts of reasons for using childcare and yours are perfectly valid for your circumstances.

It depends on your reasons for it.

It sounds like you want to do this for the socialisation and to allow you to study, both of which would be pretty good reasons on their own.

I think it’s good for them

Go for it. Sounds like a great idea if you can afford it.

Yanbu I did the same op. My ds needed the stimulation. He wasnt the type of child to just dwaddle around or play with something for 'hours on end'.
I was also worried about him being behind. I know many people believe that being at home is all they need but I have seen the difference with children who attend some type of educational setting and those who are at home. ignore your relatives.

Book them both in on one day then have two seperate days? Then you get a day to yourself and a day with each child.

This isn’t about you being a Sahm this is about what is best for your dc.

Dd and Ds went from 2 years old 2 then 3 mornings per week to start with and loved nursery. They met up with other children and made friends and played with toys and sand. It was as much for their social interaction as to give me a break for a few hours (no family and I didn’t really have friends as we had just moved to a different area)

I would suggest trying it for a couple of mornings and see how things go. If they don’t like it then try again next year.