Disabled son smashing windows

[Justme02]

Sorry posted twice,once in chat and here.
Posted for traffic and responses greatly needed.
Hello all ,im looking for some advice and help please as I just cant think what todo.Myson is severely autistic and cant stop furiously hitting his hands and head on the windows of ourhouse.hesbeen doing this for over a year now and theres no distracting him,he is non verbal with learning disabilities and is mentally aged 6 months ,so theres no reasoning with him.

The windows are kite marked double glazed and I've had them checked and been told its unlikely he will be able to go throughthem.ivebought protective shatterproof filming just in case and applied on all.
I've looked on the internet for anything which would stop the noisy banging he seems to enjoy from the windows but cant find anything.

The noise is deafening and distressing. I dont know what would work apart from padding all the windows and having no light which I obviously dont want.
I've asked all services and they haven't came up with a solution,so hoping maybe some new ideas will come from here.
im so stressed about it,its non stop all day long.

OP’s posts:See all

I'm sorry JustMe. I have no answers but that must be hard on you.

That sounds really tough. How old is your son? Is it just the two of you?

Maybe some padding like this - www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Baby-Safety-Table-Edge-Desk-Corner-Guard-Strip-Foam-Bumper-Protector-16-Colors-/401932963954?_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49292

But arrange it in slat form, on the bottom of the windows?

So that way it still let's in some light?

dengarden.com/home-improvement/How-to-Bubble-Wrap-Windows

This might change the feel of the window enough. You can get huge rolls of bubble wrap on Amazon. It might be worth trying on one window.

can you give him something else that he is allowed to bang on?

This might be a type of stimming that your son needs to do, so it might help to redirect him to something that is similar but less harmful.

might not be aesthetically nice but how about putting a bar or 2 across? You could use pipe insulation around it so if he was to bump hmself on them it would be softer. you would block with windows but not the light coming in.

Perhaps ordinary window security bars would work? It won’t be any softer but it would prevent the noise and perhaps put him off doing it because it’s not making the sound he wants.

@AuntyPasta thank you this looks like a good idea to try.thank you

Trying to get something which means we arent blocking in the light or that looks like a prison!

@parietal he is focused on the windows and wont be distracted

Might Be of a stupid suggestion but is anticlimb paint clear, so if you had that on windows and it was clear would it reduce him being able to hit the windows So much?

How old is he?
Does he respond to visuals/social stories?

@Ulrikaka no he has severe learning disabilities

I have had this, I had plastic sheeting that covers the wall the windows are recessed. I also have it covering the t.v.. as the plastic didn’t make the noise he lost interest in the banging. It meant I can not open the windows but I couldn’t anyway as he liked to escape. They are removed now as DS2 has OCD tendency so once I break a habit there is a chance it will not come back.

Can you prevent access to the windows? Have playpen type barriers to keep him back from the windows? Soft play fencing type idea?

www.tekplas.co.uk/product/childrens-playpens/toddler-play-fencing/soft-play-fencing/

I have also put obscured film on the windows as DS2 was attracted to movement outside and also banged the windows to go outside.

Will he wear a foam helmet — something like this?

My heart goes out to you. What a nightmare.

Here's the link I forgot:

preview.tinyurl.com/yacmh5o6

Link is to a site offering children's head protection.

It is very tough when fixated behaviour starts happening. Could you gently introduce something else to attract his attention? One person I knew like this kept opening doors. Would a largish children's plastic playhouse/wendyhouse do the trick perhaps? I don't know what your constraints are in terms of space. As Boulshired says it may be the sound that he is after. Would he wear headphones? You could put on something with a strong drum beat - might satisfy him. In any case all the very best you will find a good solution. Meantime look after yourself also.

My neighbour’s son is the same - they replaced all the windows recently with these double layer ones - one of the layers has a grill in them. They don’t block out light at all but are strong enough to withstand a 6 ft 15 stone boy banging on them.

It may not work but have you tried anything like this OP?

www.storkz.com/brightstarts-521792.html?currency=GBP&country=GB

It is almost transparent but it also offers an award of the different lights once it's been banged.

2 of our 5DC are autistic,our DD12 is on the more extreme end compared to her big brother.

I found that if a stim was something that could harm them or break something that could then become dangerous that I had to find something for them to switch to which I know is never easy but I hope you manage to find something that brings him the same comfort.

@Justme02 can I firstly say it most definitely isn’t just you.

Our dd is also severely autistic with SLD - she is 26 now - although she is more like a 3-4 yr old in most aspects and she does have limited speech. We suffered many similar types of problems when our dd was much younger. Throwing and smashing tv’s was a particular favourite amongst many other destructive tendencies! 🙄
She cost us a small fortune but, more importantly, the stress and worry of keeping her safe was horrendous.

I’m not sure how old your DS is but can I say it does get easier as they grow older as they do seem to calm and mature a little although still far from problem free. It angers me to hear that nothing has changed in over 20 years! We were the same! No advice or help from anywhere! 😡

My dd finally went to an excellent residential school - none of the specialist day schools could cope with her 😢 - and although it was devastating initially, it proved to be an absolute Godsend for her as she learned so much from the environment she was in although I appreciate this is more of a long term suggestion and could well be something you don’t wish to consider.

Another more immediate thought is whether anyone has suggested your son be prescribed a mild dose of anti psychotic medication? I know it sounds pretty horrifying but this was only suggested to us when our dd reached adulthood. We agreed to give it a go and, in all honesty, it has proved an absolute revelation. She has drastically reduced her obsessive behaviours and rarely displays meltdowns nowadays. (Thankfully she is not too destructive these days.)

I so wish I could suggest something more practical but, if your DS is anything like our dd, he will find a way around things. Of course they are worth a try but if it was me I would certainly be investigating medical and educational help. Also, does your DS have epilepsy? Our dd does and we discovered many of the anti epileptic meds can cause destructive/disruptive behaviours. Again, something else I would get checked if your son also suffers with seizures.

I do wish you the very best of luck! . Nobody knows just how bad it is until they have been there and living with it 24/7. (Apologies for the long post.)

Also, just to add, there IS light at the end of this awful tunnel! Our dd lives in her own gorgeous apartment within a small complex for young people with SLD on supported living basis. She is close to home now and we have an amazing relationship with her. NEVER thought we would get her anywhere near how she is now.

@Rafflesway thank you.i cant tell you how uplifting your post has been to me today,it actually helps to hear from someone who has a child who is this level of autistic,most people,with the best of intentions offer snippets of not useful advice like distract him,take him on a walk,make him understand,tell him off!!
I get tired of explaining my son doesnt understand anything,actually doesnt,I understand that's hard for people to comprehend for a ten year old boy.

He too is so destructive,I'm so house proud and it destroys me seeing him wreck things but not knowing hes doing it or causing me great stress.
I actually worry that he'll always be like a baby even when an adult and I'll never be able to happily let him be in accommodation without worrying to death about him.i try and focus on the now which is so so hard!

@Rafflesway oh didn't answer your questions,hes not epileptic and I'd worry about anti psychotic meds at his age when hes still growing.makes me so sad I've tried so many things in his short life already. How were you taking your daughter out and about?how did you manage?

Has he had an OT assessment ?

The DFG can cover safety measures like safety glass and radiator covers for people whose disability put them at risk.