Online Dating Websites why does no-one message you back?!

[vinyasaflow]

Joined Match and eHarmony a few weeks back. Sent some likes and a few messages just saying hello that kind of thing...... not one reply!!! I am a total newbie to this so please tellme if I'm doing it wrong or expecting too much!! Is this what OLD is like??!!

Sadly in my experience OLD is a total waste of time

Hi. Feel like I want to join you here. I Ive joined match and feel the same or getting some right weirdos messaging!

It's a cesspit of low rent men. And some low rent women .... like me

Seriously ....don't go near it unless you're incredibly resilient

What’s in your bio OP? When you message someone, do you say anything about their bio to show some interest?

I’m typing this sat next to my husband of almost three years, we met online. It works if you do it right!

Is it because you have to pay to message people, and a lot of people on there haven't paid?

This is really common. Men behave differently to women on dating sites. They will often swipe or like every woman so that at the matching stage they have more to choose from. Plus many just use online dating as a bit of an ego boost and don’t actually intend to meet up with anyone.

In the relationships board we’re in n about 191 of the dating threads; come and join us.

By the way I was lucky and met a nice man after a few months of online dating and I’m still with him over a year later, so sometimes it happens.

because they’re not interested in you obv

I have a male friend who joined match and he also said the same thing, it was brutal and many women don’t message back.

Sites also show dormant accounts. Some of the men you have messaged might not have looked at it for months and the messages go to spam mail. You'll find that when you try to delete your profile and cancel your account that those options are very well hidden.

I met DH on Tinder. It’s not all bad!

“Just saying hello that kind of thing”

What does that mean?

When I was OLD one of my “rules” was no reply for anyone who didn’t bother to reference one thing from my profile.

I didn’t expect a lengthy opener, as I know these often don’t get a reply.

At first, it felt a bit rude to ignore - but when I first started and did reply, the “hi” types were really dull and couldn’t develop a conversation. Usually, even from the bio they didn’t interest me (I went for more literate bios) and after a while I figured I’d rather not have a reply than one saying “no thanks”. Plus, I’d had a “who do you think you are, it was a pity hello for a joke cos my mate said you were a minger, so fuck you” when I sent a polite no thanks... so once bitten and all that!

Grow a thick skin, say more than hi but not a lot more, and keep at it!

@whiplashy

because they’re not interested in you obv

Bit harsh!!!!

@stealthninjamum I'm on my way over!!

Are you a woman?
Men don't reply to women in my experience. The way I have always done OLD is to gather a few matches, wait for some of them to message me and decide who I want to message back.
Every time I've messaged a man first I've had crickets.

I met dh online dating 7.5 years ago.Got loads of idiots sending dick pics etc but finally found a good un

OLD is very hit and miss! I used Tinder, Bumble etc for years, had some lovely dates but also plenty of non-responses, boring conversations, ghosting, weirdos etc etc.

I met DP on Hinge last year though, and he's been marvellous so far

I don’t think it is a man women thing, as said, a male friend of mine was conincidentally saying last week, women were doing the same to him. Not responding. So women also do it.

To add, I agree with @Ellisandra. I found Hinge better than Tinder or Bumble as it's designed with conversation starting prompts in your profile, rather than just the same old 'Hi how are you?'.

DP had asked that people guess what his second language is, his hometown was also listed so I googled it and correctly surmised that his 2nd language is English.

To add, I agree with @Ellisandra. I found Hinge better than Tinder or Bumble as it's designed with conversation starting prompts in your profile, rather than just the same old 'Hi how are you?'.

DP had asked that people guess what his second language is, his hometown was also listed so I googled it and correctly surmised that his 2nd language is English.

I found the paid sites a bit like this too. Match was awful for people just not replying or lengthy openers from men way way older than me who then sent me messages about being rude if I didn’t reply within a day. It always made me laugh because I wondered what they hoped to achieve other than confirming to me that I was having a lucky escape. Try tinder or bumble or other non-paid websites. I found them much more relaxed

Thank you everyone! I'm glad it's not just me or.me doing it all wrong!!! I will check put some other websites too - its certainly been an eye opener so far!

Plenty of fish bagged me my husband. Been together 8 years, married 2 and have an 18 month old son.

You just have to sieve out the rubbish

Depending on the site, men have to pay to reply. Also a lot of profiles are fake made y the company to keep people on there.

Try to be a bit more original than "hello, that kind of thing". Reference something they're interested in, make an effort.

Men don’t reply to women - in my experience, it never works out when women send the first message. I guess if they liked the look of your profile they’d have sent a message themselves. And women don’t reply to men because they get shitloads of messages from very poor-quality men. So men have to have good photos and an interesting profile, and send a normal, chatty first message (NOT “how’s you” ffs) to get a reply.

It’s not great for either sex, but the lack of replies are for different reasons.

If your opening messages are of the “hello”, “hi how are you?” or “nice profile!” variety, then nobody with any common sense is going to respond.

Don’t send a one-liner, don’t send a generic copy-and-paste job, send a message that’s individual to the person you’re messaging and you might get somewhere