I don't want to keep old family pictures

[Sweetener12]

So the other day I was doing a big cleaning around the house and found a bunch or very old photo albums that belong to my father's family. My father passed away several years ago and these albums are full of his grandparent's photos, I've never knew these people and I'm not even interested, so I wanted to get rid of them but my DM is strongly against. She says this is the memory, even though she's never knew her DH's grandparents and aunts, etc. She doesn't want me to get rid of them and keeps telling I have to digitize these pics and save them somehow. I find this to be completely senseless, tho.
What do you think? AIBU to not wanting to keep the photos of the people I've never met?

There is no point. Bin it all.

This just isn't true.

If you personally aren't interested and want to be rid, of course pass them on. There's also no reason you should get lumbered or be the one to pay for the work digitising them.

But destroying them completely...

If you knew the number of times I've listened to people bewail the fact some relative a generation above them, or to the side, has destroyed all traces of their family likenesses...

Or the joy it gives some people to see their family, even long dead.

On the back of this thread I've just been looking back through emails from people I've helped. Some were adopted or had a parent die at an early age. Even in their 70s (perhaps more so then) were desperate for some sort of rootedness, and a feeling of where they come from.

The fact the photos don't have names is a nuisance but doesn't make them of no value to someone who is interested.

@EL8888 exactly! Good on you for saying no.

So the lesson to us all is to talk to our elderly relatives before it's too late about their memories, the family tree etc and go through the photo albums making sure there's names and dates on the back or notes kept.

So the lesson to us all is to talk to our elderly relatives before it's too late about their memories, the family tree etc and go through the photo albums making sure there's names and dates on the back or notes kept.

That's my plan as don't know the names of a lot of my dad's family and neither he or my mum are great at me going through photos (that i've emailed to them) over the phone. Just waiting for shielding to end at the beginning of August!

Yes, my father had some and he labelled all that he could but as his father was the youngest of 10 children and his father was born so much earlier by the time he got one box of photos no one knew who they were. I have kept even that lot but have not been able to identify most of them.

In terms of efforts of scanning. My parents had about 1 photo of their grandparents so that is not a huge number to scan at all/.Also my parents did a family tree and my father typed notes in the 1980s so I have been able to use that too. I still don't have a photo of one of my 8 great grandparents but live in hope....

On those with no names technology does change and it may be there will be a tool to enable us to recognise whose photo when they are 10 is the old lady of 80 of whom we have a photo in due course.

For those who are trying to preserve photos and don't know people's names...

If you at least label the boxes with who/where the box came from, that's a huge start.

So "photos we found at granny's house in 2006 (she was Helen Jones, born 1930s-ish. Her married name was Singh)."

Anything is better than nothing.

I love looking at old photos, even if the people in them have nothing to do with me, so I personally think YABU. I always think throwing photos away is such a waste. It's a part of history.

I'd see if there were any famiy members at all who want them, or give them to your mum to digitise rather than throw them out. I say this as someone who doesn't have a single photo of any family member, digital or otherwise. Some people are sentimental about things like that though, so you should probably make an effort to match those people to the old photos.

Seriously? I'd give them to her and tell her to do as she pleases with them. I don't understand the many pp saying you can't possibly get rid as someone, somewhere may one day be interested in them... why is that your responsibility to deal with?

But I am a dark hearted empty souled ghoul that is not sentimental with that stuff at all

Me too. I think we should all follow The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning and free ourselves and our families from a lifetime of clutter.

I am helping future generations by not taking unnecessary photos of me.
Imagine someone will once see your 80's glam photo of you, or you in a dress and jeans in early 2000 something, you looking very pleased with your look there. Or newer photos with your plates of breakfast, protein shake, lunch, weird jar shake with cake and stuff on the top. Or duck faces. All these selfies.

@Itisbetter My widowed Great Great Great Grandmother was sent for by two of her sons who had emigrated to Canada in their twenties. She'd lived with her daughter in England until she died in her 30s. I had been looking for her death and burial details and had been unable to find anything (as I had no clue she'd gone to Canada)

So via Ancestry I found her photograph, her burial details in Canada and inscriptions in the family bible that have proved invaluable in finding out more family history that I would never have found out otherwise. The distant relatives who contacted me via Ancestry are, of course, very distant but it's been good to say hello

OP you could just get yourself a shoe box and select the oldest, clearest photographs to keep. Have you looked on the back of the photos - might there be stuff written on the back that you can't see?

I've got a huge box of hundreds of old black and white pictures from when MIL died. DH is an only child, as were his parents and none of the pictures are labelled. We have no idea who they are or when they were taken. DHs grandparents died when he was very young so he can't even identify if any are of them. But they sit there on the shelf waiting for something to happen to them.

My two boys are not interested obviously as they don't know who the people are but, somehow, it just feels wrong to throw them away.

I couldn't throw them out. I love genealogy though, I particularly love socIal history and even just a photo of a high street is exciting to me.

You could construct a family tree on Ancestry, add the pictures to the deceased relation and then leave it public for anyone and everyone to help themselves to?

I read something the other day about how people die twice, once in the physical sense and then again when they are completely forgotten, no pictures, no gravestone etc.

@nokidshere

I've got a huge box of hundreds of old black and white pictures from when MIL died. DH is an only child, as were his parents and none of the pictures are labelled. We have no idea who they are or when they were taken. DHs grandparents died when he was very young so he can't even identify if any are of them. But they sit there on the shelf waiting for something to happen to them.

My two boys are not interested obviously as they don't know who the people are but, somehow, it just feels wrong to throw them away.

It's not difficult to do a bit of basic family history on Ancestry and get names .You never know who you might link to and lo and behold your H is looking at his Great Grandfather for the first time.

A lot of people are into social history, myself included. You shouldn't just throw them away. I don't have any photos or mementos from my grandmother's side as she fled Poland during the war and left everything behind. I would love to have some things from her past. I might not have met the people but they're part of my history. You should give them to DM or to a local museum or antique shop. People do collect these items, even if they don't know the people in the the pictures.

If dm doesn't want them, bin them.

For everyone saying "oh how you feel if a distant relative binned your photos". I'd feel fine with it because they are my photos, like all my possessions, I have them for me to enjoy now. That's the one and only point of them.

And the charity shop idea... Please don't drop off blurry old snaps of no one in particular at a charity shop!

I can't see a museum being interested in photos where the subject, place or time isn't known either.

They probably already have thousands of photos where these factors are known - most museums have far more items in storage than they have room to display.

It is possible (although incredibly time consuming and not always accurately) to figure out who people from old photos are, certainly when you know the family they belonged to.

I'd be happy to have a go, OP, and worst case scenario I'd be able to find someone who is researching that family who would give them a good home

It's not difficult to do a bit of basic family history on Ancestry and get names .You never know who you might link to and lo and behold your H is looking at his Great Grandfather for the first time

We know the names, we know the family history for both our families and we have dna tests on various sites. MIL kept everything. Birth, marriage and death certificates going back to the 1800s. A treasure trove of information for our family tree.

None of that information tells us who is in the pictures. Even she didn't know who the majority of them were.

It really doesn't matter that you don't know names of the people in the photos as someone else on Ancestry or one of the other genealogy sites, might have different photos and when they are cross-matched names would be found.

Not having names right now, is not a game changer....think about Google Image and other image matching software.

Please don't destroy them, instead give them to a family history group, local museum or national library etc, there are many, many places and people who would take them. If I lived anywhere near you, I would act as custodian for the next generation as I'm sure someone will be over the moon to inherit those photos.

My adoptive sister destroyed photos of my bio Mother, for that I will 'never' forgive her as it means I don't have a photo, other than the one in my mind.

Sorry op, yabu. I have photographs of my late Dads family members who I never met but they’re my connection to him and they are all that is left for my son. I was his only child and a stepkid at that so my link to him and his history is precious though.

If there are no names on any and no one in the famly k nows them I still have saved in our case the 30 or so my father had which he had no names for from his mother's house when she died. It was a shame that they named a famous scottish surgeon with whom my great aunt presumably worked - she qualified as a nurse in the 1890s - as he was probabloy the one person they did not all at the time recognise on what look like some 1920s photos so I did sent that to a Scottish trust or museum which is named on wiki as keeping an archive of that doctor. I wonder if she had an affair with him - in a 30 year career in nursing she never married nor had children. The others that are unnamed I have kept in the hope technology will develop to make it easier to work it out as indeed did my father./ All the ones he knew he named.

For people not sure what to keep do try to keep if you can identify them a photo of each of your eight great grandparents, 4 grandparents and 2 parents. That is one of my nicest sequences also scanned as those are the children's direct ancestors on my side (I have also go those we have on their father's side saved too). I don't have a picture of one of my 8 great grandparents sadly. He died in 1917. however I still think one of his children's descendants should have one - we haven't found that so far nor on line although I found an article recently he wrote from South Africa - Letters from the Front in about 1900 to the local newspaper so w have a few memories of him. I realise most people are not interested in the past and my son was joking yesterday that I had moved from Family Trees (I have gone as far to the 1700s of mine as want or can) to trees in the garden - been cutting down vast amounts of dead wood...... It was quite funny when he said it but not written here...

Keep a few to placate your DM then give the rest to to her (though you'll get them back again eventually!),offer to wider family or dispose. Don't be guilt tripped by anyone. It's funny how it's usually female family members who get this to deal with.

These were people you've never heard of,can't identify and know nothing of apart from that some are distantly related.
If you haven't done it yet,OP, this is just a taste of the angst involved when clearing out a dead parent's house. You have to try and rationalise what you can otherwise you end up with a house full of other people's junk/ possessions. And I know what that looks like!

I have the same issue with albums from my GM and DHs great uncle. When time comes for a great clear out they will go in the bin. Photos are for memories, if there is no memory and it is a blurry photo of someone you don't know what is the point of keeping them?