I don't want to keep old family pictures

[Sweetener12]

So the other day I was doing a big cleaning around the house and found a bunch or very old photo albums that belong to my father's family. My father passed away several years ago and these albums are full of his grandparent's photos, I've never knew these people and I'm not even interested, so I wanted to get rid of them but my DM is strongly against. She says this is the memory, even though she's never knew her DH's grandparents and aunts, etc. She doesn't want me to get rid of them and keeps telling I have to digitize these pics and save them somehow. I find this to be completely senseless, tho.
What do you think? AIBU to not wanting to keep the photos of the people I've never met?

[Saz12]

I have gazillions of old pictures of long-dead relatives, and assorted “junk” (eg wartime telegrams, letters home from WW1, payslips from WW2, etc). Some are very moving, some are meaningless crap. They’re stashed away at the bottom of the wardrobe. Personally I like stuff like that.
I do get that your albums are just pictures of a long-ago moment of people who mean nothing to you. and especially if you’ve never heard any stories about the people involved in them then they might feel like clutter.

Give them to your mum. Though it sounds like they’re not her relatives or her roots so she feels they belong to you not her. Depending on the age of the pics, carefully write as much as you know about the people in them on the reverse, and pass the whole lot to a charity shop (eg ). They’ll only be saleable if they’re old pics though.

[coasterboaster]

I don't get these family history obsessives. History (interesting people who did stuff, social change, how people lived) is interesting. Really, my ancestors were boring fuckers, and when if they weren't, I don't feel any connection to them because I share a little bit of genetics with them. The further back, the less generic material I share, and it just feels totally meaningless to me today what my great great great uncle did, in a personal sense.

The only source of interest to me is knowing vaguely what they lived through, and wondering how that's affected my epigenetics. But I don't need to know what they looked like to consider that.

I'm with OP. These are strangers. Neither she, nor her mum, know who these people are, and it's clutter. If your mum wants them, she can have them. But I assume she's planning on leaving you all her clutter when she dies? Which I also think is inconsiderate, if people die of old age. They have plenty of time to sort through and ditch the rubbish, I think it's just rude to your children to leave a whole attic full of crap to sort.

[Worriedmum4]

If you have or will have children, the people in the photos will be their great great grandparent's/aunts/uncles etc. I absolutely love all of my families old photos. But I do have an interest I've researched our families back 300 years

If you really don't want to keep them thats absolutely fine, but please please do not throw them away. Can you find any surviving members of your dad's family? I'm sure they would love to have them

[Saz12]

But “how people lived” is history, and most families were “ordinary” so some of their stuff and pictures are a direct insight into “how people lived”.
Obviously a family tree gives an idea as to infant mortality, ages of marriage, childbirth, life expectancy, widows, re-marriage, where people lived, how much they earned, what type of house they had, what jobs they did.... obviously how in-depth you go.

I’m absolutely NOT a family-history buff, but my aunt is... so I get to head about the interesting bits without having to do anything!

[MehMehMeow]

My grandmother was a WW2 refugee. Her parents had divorced so when my great grandmother escaped and took the children, they (my grandmother and her brother) became separated from their father. Right up until she died in 2014, she wished she knew what had happened to her Dad. I stood at my great grandfathers grave last year, but cannot find a single photo of him or a letter, which would give my great uncle some peace. All I have is some civil certificates and ledger entries in a church register.
Geni is a free family history site. A basic tree of you, your parents and grandparents would be enough for genealogists to locate and discover photos etc. I know it’s an undertaking to scan but perhaps if you could do this, your mum might feel better about letting the originals go?

[PurplePansy05]

YABVU

Firstly, insensitive to your DM's views and secondly, these are family memorabilia, not just yours. By getting rid of these photos you'd not just remove them from your house, you'd remove the ability of other family members, current and future, to see them and learn about their past. Just because you don't care doesn't mean others feel the same, and in fact most people don't.

[Soddingsoda]

I’ve always been fascinated with my ancestors- some of them had normal lives but as I’ve lost so many relatives I find comfort that the memory somewhat lives on.

There’s really special pictures that were lost 50+ years ago of my great grandparents (way before I was even thought of) and I’d do anything to see them.

Most of my ancestors did nothing remarkable but because of their choices it’s influenced the way I’ve grown up. You or your children/siblings might not be interested but you may have a second cousin who may be interested. Once they’re gone they’re gone.

[SueEllenMishke]

It would be horrible to just throw them away. Just because you don't want them it doesn't mean other people in your family won't.

Give them to someone who will look after them.

I would be devastated if someone in my family threw away old family pictures just because they wanted a tidy house.

[Paradiseinportugal]

@Sweetener12
Whose house are you clearing out?
If it's your house, ok fair enough throw them away, nothing to do with you, just burn them and destroy the photographic history of your Dad's family. When you grow up in a few years time you may well regret your actions.
If you've been clearing your Parent's house then do exactly what your Mother wants.

[Defenestratethecat]

I've found you become more interested in this stuff as you get older, so you may regret getting rid. My DH regrets not talking to his father about his family history - his Dad died when DH was 25 and at that age he just wasn't interested, but would really like to know now. We've done some work on his family tree which has thrown up some really interesting things, but there's no-one to ask to flesh out the details.

[viques]

Don't bin them OP (haven't read through so hoping you have had a change of heart) . You don't realise how special and fragile family photos and the memories they hold and evoke are. I would love to have family photos, pictures of my dad, my mum, me as a baby, family members, family pets, holidays etc. But I haven't got any , because my evil stepfather from hell burned the lot the day after he discovered that my mother had changed her will the week before she died. I have vague memories of some of the photos, but believe me that is not the same as the real thing, looking at the details, sharing the memories with my daughter and other family members.

I know having lost our pictures in such a way is extreme (may he rot in some special hell for spiteful bastards) but if I had known what a gap they leave in my heart I would have broken into his house and stolen them before he built his bonfire.

You might not value them, but others in your family will. Personally I wouldn't digitise them either, part of the nostalgia is the feel of the photographic paper, those crinkly edges, the tiny size of some photos, the knowledge that other hands have held them.

[Cramitmaam]

Either just do your mum a favour by scanning them, or just give her the actual photos. Problem solved.

[ShinyMe]

If none of you are interested then I definitely agree that there's no point keeping them.

However, please don't throw them away! There is a huge market out there for old photos. What sort of period are you talking? Have a look online for photo collectors and sellers - you could sell them as a job lot (I don't imagine you'd get much) and they could go to someone who collects old photos and would appreciate them, even if they don't know the people.

[WindyRose]

OP, while you may not value these photos right now, please do not destroy them. If you really don't want them, someone in the family who is tracing the family history would love to have them.

Digitise them by all means, but still keep the originals....I would kill to have family photos and clearly remember a photo of my bio Mum in her Army uniform but it appears adopted sister has destroyed all the photos.

I have found photos of family members online that someone has posted, these were from the late 1800's and onwards. They are priceless!!

National archives or similar in your area would probably take them as well.

[BarbaraofSeville]

YANBU. If your DM wants to store and/or digitise them, just give them to her. She is BU to impose the storage and work onto you when you don't want them. If she wants them that much, she can take this on.

[Ducksurprise]

Our local Musuem collects photos like this.

[81Byerley]

Do you have cousins who would like them? I'm on Ancestry doing my family tree, and I'd consider this a treasure trove if someone offered me photos of my ancestors.

[HelloChompy]

I'm in two minds about whether you should keep them. I know very little about my family history so it seems hypocritical of me to say keep them. On the other hand, I don't have children. I imagine my nieces and nephews might want to keep a couple of pictures of me, particularly if their mums are in the pictures too. My most treasured pictures though are those of my animals. I really don't see them wanting those so I guess it's inevitable that one day my life's memories will end up in a skip, which seems very sad.

I like @Dyrne suggestion of getting the photos scanned by a company. If you give your mum the photos, at some stage you may end up with them back. Getting them scanned seems a good compromise.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Do you have children OP? Might you? Do your grandparents have otehr grandchildren, or great nieces and nephews? They might turn out to be interested in what their ancestors looked like, even if they don't know their story.

They, or some other great-great-neice or nephew of these people might want to do the work of matching geneological and census records with pictures, even if you don't.

Don't destroy that chance for every descendent and distant relative of the people pictured.

[FruitTingleFrizzante]

I personally would biff them. But I am a dark hearted empty souled ghoul that is not sentimental with that stuff at all. I'm genuinely surprised that most would keep (so nice!)

Maybe just split the difference and digitalise some for your mum keep?

[TimeWastingButFun]

Your children might want to see them later. My mum was devastated when my Nan got rid of a load of photos without offering them to her, although my Nan had dementia at the time.

[PurpleDaisies]

If you give your mum the photos, at some stage you may end up with them back.

Most likely when she dies (hopefully a long time in the future). Then the op can get rid without the guilt trip. Or the mum can arrange to give them to someone who wants them.

I don’t know why it is the op’s responsibility to keep these pictures.

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

You’re clearly not a fan of “Who Do You Think You Are?”.

You should also look up the definition of “senseless” because it doesn’t mean what you think it means. It’s actually destroying the pics that would be “senseless”, in my view.

Is there a reason why your mother can’t take custody of the photos or digitise them herself? That seems like the easiest solution since she is the one who wants to preserve them.

If she is too old or something, do you have any siblings, nephews/nieces, aunts/uncles who might want them? (I see no cousins as you say your Dad was an only). I find old photos fascinating for looking at the clothes, hairstyles, backgrounds etc, even if I don’t know the person and the whole point is that some day a person related to your Dad’s side may be doing a family tree and be able to work out who those people are.

[SonjaMorgan]

I feel the same way as you OP. I have no interest in tracing my family history and wouldn't want photos of strangers cluttering up my house. But your DCs or other family members may someday want them. Can you not just stick them in the loft?

[Justaboy]

Give tjhem to your mum for safe keeping they'll probally facisnate the children to come in future:)

My ex's faminly still have some paperwork and pictures of when their grandparents were released from a Nazi POW camp they narrowly survied being killed on a death march!!