I feel so hopeless, sometimes to the point that I feel all my rights as a living human are being taken away from me. Recently it got to the point that I don't want to live anymore as the emotional pain that I suffer just eats me from inside.
I live in a terraced house built in 2008. Moved to house number 5 in 2015.
We soon realised that due to our nationality neighbours from number 6 decided to ignore us and give us bad look each time they see us. Neighbours from house 4 were nice to us, I can say that we were friends.
Last year neighbours from 6 after refurbishing their garden wanted us to leave our garden as they were having family gathering and needed privacy!
Fence at that time was just 1,30cm.
We ignored their requests as we felt they are being unreasonable.
Especially that they didn't ask direct, instead they made rasist comments between themselves but of course about us.
We've stayed at the garden just to have cat feaces thrown almost under our feet once their family left!
The other day I had my dog poo scooper handle soaked in poo.
It was hanging on our shared fence so they took it, soaked it in poo and put it back in place. After a while she watched me from her window having a proper laugh as I almost cried having smelly dirty hand!
As the neighbours from number 4 we were friends with were on good terms with poo throwers from number 6 I thought it is ok to ask those from 4 to speak with those from 6 and ask them to stop doing what they do as we aren't going to respond the same way because we are not that kids of people.
On top of that our son at that time 11 years old started to fear using his garden and literally stopped playing with dog or staying there alone.
He explained that he feels that someone is watching him from behind the curtains!
Neighbours from number 4 when asked to help us and talk to number from 6 started to explain their friend saying that she has hormone imbalance as she breast feed.
They even didn't talk to her! Just jumped into protective mood!
It was clear we won't get any support and I must admit I felt a bit hurt that people who are friends with me for 4 years doesn't even want to have a chat with someone they know and who is nasty to my family.
I decided to slowly finish the friendship as I lost trust.
I didn't say anything to them but instead just stopped using garden when they were there, when the wanted have a chat i was telling them politely that I'm in rush.
So obviously it was not in my intention to argue with anyone, it was a civilised way of ending a long term friendship in such way to still remain on good terms to be able to say Hi and Hello
After just few months I started to get complaints from both number 4 and number 6 about loud TV nuisance.
Apparently my TV is that loud that stops them from enjoying their home and kids can't sleep.
My husband went to check it, he found loose radiator on the wall and advised anti vibration clips for £2 which he will install for them.
The other nasty neighbours decided to kick my door, scare our soon to the point that till now he jumps when someone loudly knocks the door.
I eventually informed the police as I was verbally abused at 7.30am when was getting into my car to drop my son for his train to school.
My son was petrified!
Police came after 2 days. Surprisingly they could hear bass coming from neighbours 6 but when visited them they couldn't hear my TV (I didn't lower the volume).
They stopped banging the doors and were advised to contact council if they believe that we cause nuisance. But they should stop talking to us and come to our door.
I thought that this is it! That's over!
No, neighbours from 4 the ones that once we're our friends felt angry that we reported their new best friends!
Yes, the two families relations got stronger once number 4 realised my family avoids them.
For 3 months they did nothing but complained. We bought soundproof mat and put under subwoofer. Then they said that they don't hear the bass anymore but instead they hear voices!
But we watch Polish TV so they can't understand it!
We changed the settings etc.
But at the same time thinking why for the last 4.5 years they never said to us that our TV makes noise!
We asked them to make a diary between Christmas and New year where due to season for 10 days everyone was at home and TV was on from about 9am till 9.30pm
They were going to rate the noise between 1-10 where 10 was very loud.
We passed this to our friend who is a solicitor who said that this noise doesn't constitute nuisance.
It is perfectly acceptable that on Saturday at 4pm someone will watch The Bohemian Rhapsody movie where volume will be much higher!
We got back to them saying that they still didn't make a £2 investment in radiator clips to stop vibration. It is believed that it's their radiator that is a problem here or at least a part of the problem.
We did all what a reasonable person would do to resolve the problem but we can't live in total silence because eg. They work from home sometime long hours and because of that we can't have classic music on to our dinner etc.
Anyways, 3 months later when asked they said they've got no problem with our TV anymore!
Well we didn't change anything since I told them that our lawyer said it's not a nuisance and that they are oversensitive or think they somehow can have a silence while choosing to live in a terraced house.
It was a relief!
I thought that all is over.
Number 6 left us alone since police told them not to approach us. Now I heard that number 4 have no problem with us being noisy!
I thought, that's perfect. Problem solved!
A month later we decided to do a major work at our garden where high fence (advised by police) was a priority.
We decided to build using brick some planters and dig sloppy ground so that we can have it flat and spent time there away from both neighbours.
The second day we started to put fence up my husband was verbally abused as our fence takes number 4 views! In fact the only views taken were the one at my garden! Also my high fence meant no more seeing neighbours from 6 and chatting over my garden! (They found new way anyways)
My husband was polite, he didn't let anyone to provoke him and didn't argue.
We have a few independent witnesses.
4 days later we've received a letter from council - Laud TV noise nuisance!!!
So apparently the day my husband was abused they put a complainant for noise while a month before they said they are ok and there is no noise!
Apparently, they have got the number 6 as their witness!
It also appears that they record my husband work at the garden!
We don't use heavy tools for hours but sometimes we have to do it to cut some wood or brick, however mainly it's digging by hand without heavy machinery so no noise then!
But they jump with their phones and record each time my husband is with tools!
So I expect I will soon receive a second letter but this time about our garden work.
Which in fact takes 3 months but only because we do it with breaks as no materials are available and we constantly wait for some things to be delivered.
So yes we are at the garden every day but we don't use loud tools every day!
Anyways, the case for TV is open and I assume not investigated just yet.
I responded to the case officer and had a chat with her over the phone.
She said that because of Covid they don't visit houses now so she will come once it will be safe to do so.
My life has changed dramatically, since we put the high fence my son few times used the garden by himself but felt watched from windows and doesn't want to do it again.
He wanted to have piano for his birthday so we bought him, he played only once and we had someone banging on the wall and since then my son never played again.
He avoids neighbours from 6 when they are on their driveway he waits hidden behind our van before rushing to our door.
Our Sundays meals that we had and always played jazz music are past!
No more music played to meals, no more fitness workouts or PE with Joe!
Whatever I do, like using shaker to prepare my morning meal, I first think about my neighbours and if they already write note in their diary!
There was a time when on Fridays we had friends coming to watch some Netflix with us. But now we don't watch Netflix and it's not because our friends don't come due to Covid but because my husband said that there is no point for us to pay subscription if we can't watch anything as all we think off is how we are heard, if we are heard and if neighbours make their notes!
We also started to argue between ourselves over what is an acceptable volume to watch news etc!
My happy marriage is not that happy anymore. We argue constantly and only when it comes to volume of sounds that we generate!
I'm tired, I feel ill.
I don't eat properly and having stomach pains, which is not good as long before the whole stress started I was already under the care of gastrologist and I need to watch what I eat and how I eat and follow my diet.
I just can't do it now!
During this time I also had breast reconstruction surgery about which neighbours knew. So to help me with my stress after my surgery they were hanging bras at their garden in such way I could see them! Not sure what they wanted to achieve! But it definitely upset me.
If it was my decision I would possibly try to sell the house, I would give up!
My husband doesn't want this as he says that we do nothing wrong and no one can assure us that we will have better neighbours elsewhere.
We can't run away, we have to be strong and trust that eventually one of them will move out and the other one will stop as they won't have support.
Think I need a help.
Psychologist? Psychiatrist? Anyone here?
I'm scared to tell my GP, he won't have time to hear all what I need to say and what is in this message.
Many people says that I should just ignore and live my life but I can't! Something inside me blocks me from feeling happiness.
Apparently, there is plenty of help for people who have noisy neighbours but where there is help for people like us who are victims of someone who thinks that they can complain about everything?
Can anyone help me?
Please don't advise to sell house or be nasty towards neighbours as it won't happen.
I think my only hope is that lady from the council who is a case officer. Maybe if she decided that we don't cause nuisance all will stop and if not maybe then we can sue neighbours for harassment?
But for that I need to wait but can't wait for help any longer as I'm dying inside! I feel pain in my chest constantly!
Can't sleep properly, eat properly, enjoy life, can't focus even on reading book as after one page I forgot what was all about!
I've got many good neighbours and friends on the street and all of them feel for us!
Many says they wish we were their neighbours!