Sex question

[damnthisvirusandmarriage]

If you refuse to have sex with your husband and then he sulks and tantrums is that Even remotely normal?

I get blamed for teasing him when I start to (been pestered into it) and then I’m so repulsed by it I just have to make excuses and stop. Then sulking and punishing me with not being helpful and jolly etc.

Back story to this. But just wanted to know thoughts.

@IlanaWexler

What's the point of this thread? You ask if his behaviour is normal and then you say that you already split up because he was abusive. So obviously you know it wasn't normal.

The op has already said - she’s trying to make sense of things.

Why be so rude to someone already going through a tough time?

No, this sexual/emotional abuse.

Nobody should blackmail anyone into sex. Even if they don't want sex ever.

It's so hard to unpick this kind of thing when it seems like normality for so long.

I found come as you are an interesting read about sexuality. It doesn't deal with healing from abuse specifically. But I find it interesting because so much of what we are told about sex (as women) is harmful or just untrue. It helped to clear the slate for me.

It sounds as though this was one of many issues with your STBXH, well done @damnthisvirusandmarriage for getting yourself out of this bad relationship

Well done for getting out🌷

Being called names like that would have ended any sexual/other feelings for him.

I have no aversion to swearing, but I would not be sworn AT/called names, that's entirely different

My OH started off as a FWB (romantic huh LOL) & it grew from there, but even in the beginning if he'd come around explicitly to have sex, he would have been dumped if he'd been even marginally pissy about it if I wasn't in the mood before or during! A bit of disappointment is understandable or a bit of worry they were doing something 'wrong', sure, but sulking - grow up or fuck off.

I'm so pleased you got out & ive heard good things about the Freedom
Prog. I hope it helps.

Do ask about anything else... there are some tests around, but also plenty of us happy to discuss what's 'normal' & what's not!

Take care of yourself 🌷