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AIBU?

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Original poster

To bring up sthing that happened 8 months ago

46 replies

bunpot · 04/07/2020 23:39

... But that I've only just realised why it bothered me so much?

It was our first night out after having DD. We were at a club with friends and got separated, and when I found DP he obviously hadn't been looking for me.

He should have been looking out for me, shouldn't he?

At the time we fell out but the next day I apologised thinking I was being paranoid. He never apologised.

It just popped into my head because I was thinking about a time before I was pg when I'd wandered off in a club for 2 mins and he'd had a go at me for it.

Is it stupid to bring this up now?

OP posts:
Ohnoherewego62 · 04/07/2020 23:40

If you were out with friends, maybe he assumed you were with one of them.

Is there an underlying issue here?

RoseGoldEagle · 04/07/2020 23:44

Wouldn’t he have just thought you were chatting to friends?

WeAllHaveWings · 04/07/2020 23:46

Why should be have been looking for you? Was there a reason you would have been in danger or are you not a capable adult?

TARSCOUT · 04/07/2020 23:47

How long were you missing?

Wherethereshope · 04/07/2020 23:50

Can't see why you need to bring it up now

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 04/07/2020 23:51

If he were, wouldn’t you complain about him being controlling?

You went out with friends.
You had an argument.
He thought the best thing was for both of you is to be away from each other while out with friends.

So what is your issue with it?
Or is there a massive drip feed coming? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 04/07/2020 23:52

I'm surprised you even remember that 8 months later. How long were you gone that you expected him to be looking for you?

crimsonlake · 05/07/2020 00:26

Seriously...you have been dwelling on this for how long??

WhySoSexist · 05/07/2020 00:31

Why should he have been looking for you?

Original poster
bunpot · 05/07/2020 00:33

OK, got my answer thanks! @MNHQ could you delete the thread? Or can someone let me know how. Feel pretty stupid

OP posts:
Cookie123456 · 05/07/2020 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
bunpot · 05/07/2020 00:37

Fwiw I felt like he should have been looking out for me as it was first time away from DD and I was stressed and hormonal. And I haven't been dwelling all this time, it just popped into my head and I felt really paranoid about it

OP posts:
YgritteSnow · 05/07/2020 00:37

Why so nasty @Cookie123456? Hmm

Cookie123456 · 05/07/2020 00:39

I'm not being nasty, I'm being descriptive.

Original poster
bunpot · 05/07/2020 00:39

Thank you so much @YgritteSnow

OP posts:
YgritteSnow · 05/07/2020 00:41

OP, I think I know what you mean. I went out with my ex H once and I remember him going off to the toilet. He took ages and when he came back I saw him walk across the pub and stand by the bar and order a drink. He didn't come back to where we'd been and wasn't looking for me. It set my senses off. It was just weird and felt so off and was not what I would expect from my DH when we were out together. I had to go over to him in the end. It's been years and he's an ex now but I still remember how lonely it made me feel. I was waiting for him and excited about being out with him but he didn't even bother to come back and didn't seem to care if I was there or not.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 05/07/2020 00:44

It is not rational to be upset about this - not as you have described it. Even with the background you gave. Something else is going on, or there was more to it. If not then yes you are being unreasonable.

YgritteSnow · 05/07/2020 00:44

Oh, you were describing the DH then? Because if you were then yes you're being descriptive. If you're saying it to the OP then it's nasty and an insult. Have I misunderstood?

Original poster
bunpot · 05/07/2020 00:44

@YgritteSnow yeah that's exactly it. We were meant to be out together. Thanks for your input. Going to have 12 more people telling me I'm pathetic now!

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 05/07/2020 00:46

No Cookie, you're being nasty.Hmm

OP, you and your DP were in very different places in your pre child clubbing days to where you were that night. And to where you are now.Flowers

Do you still feel that your DP isn't looking out for you?

Cookie123456 · 05/07/2020 00:47

In what way is OPs partner an idiot? She's the silly one, being all upset simply because he didn't hunt her down (and 8 months later!).

Rose789 · 05/07/2020 00:52

I remember years ago getting lost in a club and it took me 45 minutes to find everyone. Dh hadn’t even realised I’d been gone. I got very tearful and dramatic and was swiftly bundled home to bed.
I apologized the next day to everyone, but when I apologized to dh he also apologized to me.

Is there anything else going on op? Anything in particular that’s made it spring up tonight?

YgritteSnow · 05/07/2020 00:53

So you are insulting the OP then? I've reported your post so hopefully it will be gone soon.

Rose789 · 05/07/2020 00:54

@Cookie123456 you ok hun? Any Particular reason your being so vile to the op?

Wherethereshope · 05/07/2020 06:42

I think you definately have a point OP, may be bring it up with him before you go out like this next - like you feel differently to how you did before and you'd like to stick together. You could say you were surprised how differently you felt the last time you went out compared to pre baby. Then it's relevant and you're not digging up old situations.

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