Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask them if they are actually coming?

42 replies

BollyHobs · 04/07/2020 18:00

We have taken a villa in a country that quarantine restrictions won’t apply to. We booked for mid-July back in January. It’s been very stressful wondering if it would happen but now we are really looking forward to it.

As part of our holiday every year, we usually invite another family as our guests. This keeps teen DCs occupied and is often a way of DH and I repaying hospitality. Guests don’t pay for villa just transport/flights.

We are going in 2 weeks time and this year’s guests haven’t said if they are coming. They can be quite anxious and I have not wanted to push them but it is really getting close. I sent a text yesterday asking how they were feeling - no reply.

I really want to know. They definitely have booked flights and spent £££. But their DC told my DC they weren’t not coming cos of the pandemic. Gah. Still time to ask someone else if they pull out, maybe.

YABU - they are anxious, leave them to make up their minds
YANBU - two weeks to go, push them and invite someone else

OP posts:
nightlight29 · 04/07/2020 18:01

YANBU at all

Knittedfairies · 04/07/2020 18:02

I think it quite reasonable to ask them, given there is only a fortnight until the holiday.

LadyPrigsbottom · 04/07/2020 18:03

I see why they are anxious, but with two weeks to go, I think they should be able to tell you what their plan is. On the other hand, things do change quickly at the moment and you won't lose any money if they don't come... but on balance yanbu. I'd ask them.

taraRoo · 04/07/2020 18:03

Yanbu just ask them. If they've already paid then it shouldn't matter for you anyway. Just say it heard through the kids that you aren't coming? That's a real shame but hope we can do it as normal next year'

Original poster
BollyHobs · 04/07/2020 18:05

Thanks for replies. I have asked (yesterday after the announcement) but no reply.

Can I push for one? I don’t want a bad atmosphere before the holiday even starts.

But what a waste not to be able to invite others. Loads of people I know could do with a holiday...

OP posts:
ShinyMe · 04/07/2020 18:09

Can't you just say 'we won't be offended if you can't come, totally understand etc but if you're not going to be able to make it, we''d like to offer the place to someone else'? They would get their money for the accommodation back then at least.

ShinyMe · 04/07/2020 18:10

Urgh, sorry, just reread it properly. Ignore me!

TrickyD · 04/07/2020 18:10

Tell them you understand their reluctance, but if they do not wish to come, you need to know immediately so that you can invite a replacement.

LadyPrigsbottom · 04/07/2020 18:10

Hmmm tricky, yes, of course, you said you already asked didn't you? I'd give them till tomorrow morning and then ask again I think. The whole day should give them a chance to discuss it.

CareBear50 · 04/07/2020 18:11

I would ring them. Just say you know decisions are difficult during these times but you would appreciate a decision asap as otherwise you will invite other friends who really could do with a a holiday.

Tell them you would love it though if they could come but you really need a decision by Tuesday

VettiyaIruken · 04/07/2020 18:11

Perhaps message again saying holiday in X days time. If you are feeling anxious about coming, I totally understand but please tell me by Monday whether or not you are coming and I can invite someone else.

The dilemma is then of course whether or not to add if I don't hear back from you, I'll assume you can / can't make it. There are pros and cons on that.

managedmis · 04/07/2020 18:13

Call them?

AlCalavicci · 04/07/2020 18:15

I would def push for a answer, I would of thought they they'd of made their mind up one way or the other by now.

Do you have someone in mind that could come if the original family wont be coming ? As much as I would love to go on holiday I know I couldn't stump up the cost of flights and spending money with only two weeks notice

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 04/07/2020 18:17

I'd ring rather than text.
If they don't pick up, email that you;re sorry you've not been able to contact them, hope they're well, is there a new number to get them on.
You've heard via the children that they don't want to travel, you;d have appreciated it if they'd confirmed, but as you've not heard back from them, you've invited X instead.

They might feel embarrassed about change of plans, but the accommodation for 2 adults + children must cost a fair bit; it's bloody rude of them not to tell you.

LEELULUMPKIN · 04/07/2020 18:20

Sorry If I have misread the thread but what accommodation costs would they be able to claim back if they are your guests at the villa?

Didn't you say that they just pay for their transport?

LEELULUMPKIN · 04/07/2020 18:21

Ignore me, I've just re-read it and done the same as a PP! Sorry!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 04/07/2020 18:22

I'd stop worrying about offending them. They are being rude in not confirming their plans with you.

Call and ask them for a definite answer, tell them plainly, you'd want to be able to finalise your holiday plans and need their response immediately.

mummmy2017 · 04/07/2020 18:27

Get your Child too tell their child that not going is fine, that he will see child next time.
Leave a text to the parents saying your accepting their lack of response as confirmation of their not wanting to fly and that you can try next year.
Then invite other friends.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/07/2020 18:28

You really need to call them rather than text. And open with something along the lines of ShinyMe's suggestion -
"Can't you just say 'we won't be offended if you can't come, totally understand etc but if you're not going to be able to make it, we''d like to offer the place to someone else'?"

BurnIt · 04/07/2020 18:29

Just ring them!

Original poster
BollyHobs · 04/07/2020 18:37

Messaged to invite them for socially distanced GnTs tonight but they have plans so we will see them at some point tomorrow. No mention of holiday.

I want to be nice as I know C-19 has stressed them out no end. But I really will need an answer tomorrow.

DH thinks they’ll want to know more about the villa. I don’t want to persuade someone to go on a holiday they don’t really want to go on.

OP posts:
Nousernameforme · 04/07/2020 19:10

Are you going to be able to get someone else to drop everything and come on holiday with you with only two weeks notice

CatBatCat · 04/07/2020 19:14

Messaging is easy to ignore because it is exactly that, messaging. If you need an answer you need to call them.

zigaziga · 04/07/2020 19:22

Are you going to be able to get someone else to drop everything and come on holiday with you with only two weeks notice

If someone offered me a villa I would be there tomorrow!

sonjadog · 04/07/2020 19:26

I think you can just ask them outright. They may have not said anything because they are assuming it is obvious they aren't going. Just send a message saying you are wondering if they are still planning on joining you as if not, you would like to ask someone else.

Swipe left for the next trending thread