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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel like the worst mother today

36 replies

amehh · 03/07/2020 23:33

Today has just been awful and I need to say it out loud - I feel like a terrible mum.

8 month old DD fell off the bed today. She has very suddenly become mobile and is super speedy. She hit the carpet with a thud and she bumped her head too (side of forehead). Cried immediately for about a minute and then settled down, absolutely no marks/bumps/bruises, just calm and content, her usual self. Doctors said to watch for vomiting, drowsiness and unusual irritability, none of which she has, and everyone is satisfied that she is fine....but how do I know for sure? I've checked on her twice already tonight and feel I won't be sleeping at all.

Fast forward 90 minutes and DS 8 went to play on his bike out the front, suddenly started screaming. He has crashed face first into a metal fence, blood everywhere. Get him inside where he has split his lip at the bottom and punctured it as well with his teeth, and also looks like he has damaged his front teeth. Trip to A&E with him for stitches and a brace for his teeth (and instructions to get an xray in case he has further damage and needs a root canal), got him home calm, dosed up and tucked up in bed around 9:30pm.

DH is asleep and I am wired, can't stop googling both kid's problems and wondering if I should check on them both overnight, if I should have taken DD to A&E as well, wishing I'd made different choices today and these accidents wouldn't have happened.....

I just really need to offload, having a real wobble about my parenting when both children have had accidents today! Has anyone experienced either of these accidents and it's been fine? Or can anyone help me stop freaking out so much? Please?

OP posts:

monotata · 03/07/2020 23:37

Ach OP.

You are not a terrible mum!! You’ve had a shitty shitty day and you feel guilty because you’re a good mum who cares.

Be as kind to yourself as you have been to your kids

gandalf456 · 03/07/2020 23:39

I've had the roll off bed thing and both have been fine.

Not had the bike thing but, with front teeth, they can splint them together.

monotata · 03/07/2020 23:39

Ps my DH dropped my now 6 year old DD when she was 9 months because he tripped over her toys on the floor 🙈 He managed to let go of her about a foot above the ground but lord almighty the thud was terrible.

My other DD fell off a chair in my MILs and went face first into a wall and gave herself a concussion.

There have been other accidents, cuts, scrapes and grazes as well as some near misses 😬

Delbelleber · 03/07/2020 23:40

My ds rolled off the bed at 6 months. He was fine and is 12yrs old now. These are just accidents and don't make you a bad mum. I hope your older ds is feeling better soon.

Airplanes · 03/07/2020 23:42

You must feel so bad but you shouldn't.

I have read a million threads about babies falling off beds. It happens a lot. It's awful sod's law timing that your son had an accident too.
My daughter fell, didn't put her hands out and split her lip. I felt like you and I couldn't get the image out of my head. Your adrenaline is sky high, understandably so. If you haven't been told to check on them overnight then they should be ok but I know if be feeling the same way. My daughter's lip is fine now. Hugs for you though, I know that put in your stomach feeling so well

Rainsparkle · 03/07/2020 23:43

Oh OP I feel your pain, exact thing happened with our 10 month old DD on Tuesday but when she fell her top tooth went through her lip and there was blood everywhere. Never ever felt so guilty in my life!! We took her to A&E and doc said to check on her every hour for two nights to make sure she was responsive just with her hitting her head (not to fully wake just to make sure she moved/made noise etc) she had a fat lip for a day and that was the worst of it. These things happen, your not a terrible mum at all. Even though that probably won't help take the guilt away, lots of extra cuddles I'm sure will make everyone feel better

Mamette · 03/07/2020 23:44

Baby falling off the bed- honestly OP, this happens to every baby at some stage, there’s a thread on here every week about it at least. Babies are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for!

Your poor little DS. That’s a horrible accident to have but there’s no blame on your part. I’m sure he’ll be absolutely fine.

You’ve just had a day of it that’s all. Like pp said- be kind to yourself

babbi · 03/07/2020 23:46

Had both .. baby off bed .a few times . daughters teeth smashed falling off a scooter 🙄

Don’t beat yourself up ... all part of the motherhood journey .
Be kind to yourself x

Original poster

amehh · 03/07/2020 23:52

Thank you all, it has helped a little hearing your kind words. I'm just....speechless that so much happened in such a short space of time. I'm very much an over-thinker so trying to calm that down tonight is going to be difficult. I usually wake a few times a night anyway so if I do drop off I'll make sure to check on them both when I do, for my own sanity.

I feel like I'm stressed to the eyeballs today! DS was so brave but getting all the local anaesthetic injections was absolutely horrendous (I think it was 12 in the end) and although it was necessary it was just awful. I hope he gets some good sleep tonight but I'm armed with painkillers in my room just in case. I just can't stop going over all of it, poor mites :(

OP posts:

Mmmmycorona · 03/07/2020 23:57

If you were a terrible mum you wouldn’t care.
Accidents happen and you feel awful at the time but they’ll forget and your guilt will ease.
Dd fell down 3 stairs (Seems nothing now but did at the time) a few months ago, I cried so much. She was stunned but fine. We’ve all been there.

Howmanysleepsnow · 03/07/2020 23:57

I’ve had both! DD’s teeth went through her lip age 3. She was admitted for plastic surgery but didn’t get it as the surgeon had to deal with a fire victim. She has a hairline scare now, which she’s quite fond of!
DS rolled off the sofa. Absolutely no harm done.

Didkdt · 04/07/2020 00:28

It was a bad day but there will be the scrapes bumps and near misses from birth to 18 years. It feels horrible, it's a shock in the Covid era you had 2 in one day but you sound like you've had a jolly good tun up until now
As my GP said to my son you and I could make a movie with all of your mishaps.
We had visitors come for a trip of a lifetime for them last year and half the activities I'd planned were out because I had two broken children DS with a broken wrist DD a broken foot both done at school so closely together the receptionist at A&E remembered me!
You are doing just great and your children are lucky to have you

Greyblueeyes · 04/07/2020 00:38

Aw, OP. You just had a bad day. You aren't a bad mother! You made sure both kids had medical attention. These were just accidents.

Mummyshark2019 · 04/07/2020 00:38

I have had the rolling off the bed thing. I also felt terrible after it. Baby fine though. It happens to most babies so please done beat yourself up about it. Take care.

Aber9 · 04/07/2020 04:10

This stuff happens and it is totally not your fault. Both must have been really scary,

Some days are just like that. We’ve had days when it seemed every move any child made injured them and I was debating creating a padded cell in the house, wrapping each child in bubble wrap, and throwing them in there for the day.

HarryHarry · 04/07/2020 04:16

A friend of mine told me that when she was a kid, she got badly hurt and had to go to hospital. Her brother crouched to pet a caterpillar on the driveway as her mum was backing the car out and she knocked him over. So then her mum had to bring not 1 but 2 badly injured kids to the hospital. She said she must have looked like the worst mother ever! But they all laugh about it now.

My baby has fallen off the sofa twice so far. Both times we were sitting next to each other - she was just so quick we couldn’t have stopped her! Don’t feel bad - it happens.

BeautifulCrazy · 04/07/2020 05:19

I think every parent I know has had their child fall off the bed/sofa or down the stairs, or all of those in my case and I’m a really careful person. One of my kids also knocked their front teeth out on a bike. Various other accidents that I felt awful about at the time and gave me many nights of no sleep. I remember people saying ‘everything will be fine and you’ll look back when they’re older and just roll your eyes at their accidents’. They were so right so I’m going to say the same to you now. They will both be fine. Your son may need some work on his teeth but honestly they can fix everything. Keep him pain free, give them both lots of cuddles and be kind to yourself. As others have said, it’s the good mums that worry and feel guilty when stuff like this happens.

My partner also knocked one of his front teeth out when he was a child so it seems to be a trend in our family. 🙄 He had to have a root canal and a crown. He’s had it replaced a couple of times over the years but it looks great, you’d never know.

for you.

Pixxie7 · 04/07/2020 05:39

Accidents happen, you have just had a bad day. Not many babies survive their first year without banging their heads. Be kind to yourself.

Original poster

amehh · 04/07/2020 06:43

Thank you so much everyone - I've had a few hours sleep and DS slept until about 6:15am so he has been sorted this morning (thinks it is great he has milkshakes for breakfast!) And I've heard the baby rustling a bit so will check on her at 7am.

So glad to get through the night with my constant worrying and it was largely down to all of your reassuring posts so thank you! Sorry you've all had mishaps too but it's so much better to not feel alone.

Hope everyone has a good day :)

OP posts:

User24689 · 04/07/2020 06:52

Just read your post and wanted to say I hope your little ones are both on the mend soon.

My DD fell off the bed at 5 months as I left her sleeping next to my husband in the morning and he fell back asleep too, then she rolled off. He felt terrible, in fact I think it's the most upset I've ever seen him! She was absolutely fine, and ours was a pretty high bed into a solid wood floor! She's 4 now and we still remember how awful that morning was!

As for your son, these things just happen! Poor boy. I have a seriously high energy fearless 2 year old and I know I have years of accidents ahead of me!!

Hope you have a better day xx

User24689 · 04/07/2020 06:52

Just read your post and wanted to say I hope your little ones are both on the mend soon.

As for your son, these things just happen! Poor boy. I have a seriously high energy fearless 2 year old and I know I have years of accidents ahead of me!!

Hope you have a better day xx

CluelessBaker · 04/07/2020 07:04

Oh OP - you aren’t a terrible mum. However careful and watchful you are you simply can’t prevent every accident a child experiences. They’re going to hurt themselves sometimes. You’re a good mum because you comforted them, sought medical advice and looked after them, which is exactly what decent parents are supposed to do.

Hope your boy feels better soon - and I hope you do too

mogloveseggs · 04/07/2020 07:06

You're not an awful mum at all!
What a day!
Be kind to yourself.
If your Ds can't chew try complan from the chemist they do a chocolate flavour (it's a bit like slim fast but not diet).
hope you all are ok today

YeahWhatevver · 04/07/2020 07:31

We took DS to the park at 12/13 months and i dropped him lifting him off the swings, he was left with a big welt and scrape on his forehead.

Everyone has terrible parenting days. It's the long term average you need to look at not the daily peaks and troughs.

I'll bet you've had amazing days where its all gone brilliantly, I'm assuming you've not given yourself as much of a pat on the back for those days as you are now beating yourself up.

Sceptre86 · 04/07/2020 07:35

My dd rolled off the bed at 3 months old. I was beside myself but kept an eye on her all day and night and thankfully she was fine.

Yanbu to worry but accidents do happen. Just keep an eye on your dd for concussion but otherwise don't best yourself up.

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