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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't know what to do about job offer

43 replies

Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 14:51

I've been contracting for a few years in HR.

Have been very lucky during Covid as I lost my contracted role in April, got paid until the end of May and was offered a new contract in June on the most money I've received so far 🤯

I've now just been offered a perm PT role in the civil service, 20 minutes from home.

DH has said grab it, it's perm, it's PT and we can't both work in the City with 2 DC.

But it's at the ceiling where I can't go above it career wise, and it's junior to my experience (and less money obviously).

I've worked in this department before and there's a lot of management politics going on that I just can't be arsed getting involved in but the team are nice.

AIBU that l'm tempted to take my chances with my current contract (6 month but may go perm) and hope dh and I can make it work with us both in the city?

OP posts:
milienhaus · 03/07/2020 14:53

If you don’t want to take the civil service jon then don’t. You don’t sound very positive about it!

Original poster
Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 14:55

No I don't sound positive at all.

Yet I felt like it was a no-brainer when I was typing it out to take it!

OP posts:
PegasusReturns · 03/07/2020 14:57

Don’t do it.

The only reason for you considering it is because your DH doesn’t want your job to impact his career. I’d be hearing alarm bells loudly.

AriettyHomily · 03/07/2020 15:01

Don't do it. Why can't you both work in the city, or why can't he put his career on the back burner?

Original poster
Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 15:08

Dh did offer to look for other work but his role is very specialised and he's been a sort of trailing spouse when I've had other opportunities.

It really is a 'both of us can't work in the city because of the dc' conundrum.

I've talked about further study and dh sees this as a good opportunity for that.

Is it crazy to turn down a perm role for contracting?

Oh shit, this is a drip feed - sorry! - the role has been offered at FT or PT but I'd only be interested in PT as FT would send me over the edge.

OP posts:
HeadSpin5 · 03/07/2020 15:14

Hmm tricky. Personally if he can’t work closer to home and you have the opportunity to work PR in a professional role, close to home, I would take it. We’ve done the 2xFT in the city with young DC and it was so bloody stressful - wrap around care top and tail meaning v long days for them (and expensive!) plus always panicking that trains were delayed meaning both stuck. If you can wfh some of the week as a contractor, or he can, then maybe. Otherwise I’d take the PT - it doesn’t have to be forever

Original poster
Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 15:22

Yes it's the long days for DC I feel guilty about. It's so unfair on them and something neither dh or I had to experience.

My dm put her career on hold for us but she was young enough she picked it up in her 40s when we we're late teens and did well.

I'm early 40s now with young DC, so time out would affect my career and probably won't be able to pick up 'later'.

But that should be ok as a DM right??

OP posts:
Pinkdelight3 · 03/07/2020 15:25

"Is it crazy to turn down a perm role for contracting?"

Not with all the cuts that are coming in the civil service. There's many perm roles that won't be very perm at all within six months. Unless you know for sure this isn't the case, then you're as well (or better) off with the lucrative contract job.

Allinadaystwerk · 03/07/2020 15:26

Could you go fulltime at civil service and ask to work 2 days from home to give you some flex and a reprieve from commute?

Original poster
Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 15:48

I genuinely don't want this role FT.

So the responses are a bit mixed!

OP posts:
HeadSpin5 · 03/07/2020 15:48

Fair point from others re civil service cuts. And sorry, I didn’t mean to make You feel guilty! Mine actually loved going to the wrap around mostly, more time with friends etc - but the sheer hassle of both racing back still haunts me! I’m early(ish!) 40’s and being part time until recently didn’t do me any harm so 🤞Good luck in whatever you choose OP 😊

EmperorCovidula · 03/07/2020 15:53

How solvent is your current employer? I’d never previously consider civil service work but in what’s to come I can see why it would be desirable.

RB68 · 03/07/2020 15:56

My view is stay contracting - its not about what is convenient for the family -and you sweating it out for 2 days with a pt role in a politicky office stuff that. Find a job you love

2bazookas · 03/07/2020 16:13

Take PT in the well-paid job you really want, then you and DH get yourselves some excellent childcare at home and a cleaner. Then you can enjoy your work and young children without getting stressed out.

   When  DC are older and need less paid  child-care your  PT employer will no doubt be eager to offer FT .  By then they'll  know how brilliant and indispensible you are  and you'll be able to negotiate your own terms.
Original poster
Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 16:29

My current contract manager has said my role can't be done PT so it's FT with possibility (after Covid) of 1 maybe 2 days WFH.

Hmm so voting at the moment says most think I should take the city contract role.

I need to let perm role know on Monday.

OP posts:
BarbaraofSeville · 03/07/2020 17:02

If it's a well paid role, could you employ a nanny to solve the childcare problems?

What flexing/compromise is your DH putting in? Don't automatically assume that you should shoulder all the potential career impact.

PlanDeRaccordement · 03/07/2020 17:08

City role that is 2 days WFH will mean you are close by for DC. You won’t be in the city. Maybe DH can WFH on 2 different days as well? So only one day a week you are both in city? Covid has made companies more in favour of WFH arrangements.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/07/2020 17:14

If the city role has some wfh in it then I say go for it! With more money can you afford the wrap around care?
I say stay put- otherwise you will resent your husband and family

Original poster
Burninglogs · 03/07/2020 23:29

I thought more people would say take the role close to home, but you've all said what deep down I really want to do anyway.

I might be back in 6 months asking how can I get over the guilt of not taking a perm role when it was offered when my contract ends 🤐

I've been lucky with work so far though so fingers crossed!

OP posts:
NaNaNaNaNaNaBaNaNa · 04/07/2020 01:30

The thing is, if you really want it, you will make it work.

There are times in your life when you just want something convenient that fits in around the rest of your life (I've been coasting in a comfortable position with good benefits and low responsibility for the last 5 years while I've had my kids for example) and there are times when you want your career to be adding to your life.

Sounds like you're in the second time right now and so you should do it. You'll figure it out together, and you'll always regret settling and not taking the opportunity. There will be other boring jobs later.

birdy124 · 04/07/2020 01:52

It's a bad sign that you don't want it as a full time role bc it would "push you over the edge" . It probably won't be more relaxing life if you hate your PT job.

Isn't everything WFH anyways? I would stick with contract job unless it's an industry that's going to go under. I would just take a chance and see how long WFH goes on, it should be about 1 year.

Can your dh work from home? Maybe if you both had a day or to wfh it would work.

Don't take a job you're already dreading!

famousforwrongreason · 04/07/2020 01:59

Ime, a ot time job in the civil service is often a full time job disguised as part time.
Especially if they've offered you 'the options' of both. You will be garunteed to be shoving in loads of extra work or shoddy work unless the provide you with a jobshare partner
If you're not excited by it and don't need to go there then don't.

ShinyFootball · 04/07/2020 02:04

Not read the whole thread.

People I know who work in civil service hate it.

Uncertainty, cost cutting, political stuff (I mean obv! But within departments), cost cutting, longer and longer hours.

You don't sound keen.

Don't do it.

Show DH the thread.

famousforwrongreason · 04/07/2020 02:22

I meant part time job, not ot obviously te for bed!

allthedamnvampires · 04/07/2020 08:43

In Scotland there's a commitment to no compulsory redundancies in the cs. Unsustainable maybe in the long run, but there's a lot of work to be done following covid and new depts are being spun up.

Across the uk there'll be redundancies in longer course but it will so depend on the skill set of the civil servant, geographic location etc. Crystal ball stuff!

Not all jobs will remain wfh, you might be forced to travel, you might not like that. As a contractor you're always more vulnerable than perm staff. As a contractor so late in the door, you're more vulnerable still. Especially if you're on a high wage.

I wouldn't want to work where I'm miserable but it is pt, close to home, good job security, and you won't be actually sitting side by side with these people. CS depts unlikely to flock back to the office, less so than private sector I think. These things could maybe tip the scales towards the cs job if it were me.