I just got bad feedback - help me feel better?

[sadannie]

Not an AIBU but posting for traffic (sorry) - also NC.

I moved into a consulting job in September. The company is very tough with its hiring and mainly hires privately educated Oxbridge grads. I am a pupil premium BAME, one of the only women in the department, but qualified in the profession at another huge firm. I was brought in as experienced hire.

The field is entirely different to what I'm used to, however they know this as they specifically hire from my firm in my department for our different skills. I went through a rigorous process to get the job and I really enjoy it. Although, I often feel like an intruder and have very little confidence in my ability.

I worked on a project which was thoroughly challenging but we got it done well. I just had my feedback session and he said how I'm excellent in many ways but then commented on my improvements. The thing I need to improve is the knowledge gap between the two jobs... the same as every other experienced hire. However, he is taking the feedback form very literally where others wouldn't and is going to give me a rating that sounds fair but will stop me getting promoted (you get promoted every year and it's a shock if you don't, usually the person will leave) - he has said he doesn't want it to stop me getting promoted and will add a comment to say it shouldn't. I've argued that it would make more sense to give me the rating that ensures I do still get promoted but to put a comment that says I have XYZ to work on. He won't do that.

I'm very upset. I have excellent feedback in other projects but it doesn't really matter when considering this... I have GAD and OCD and will obsess over this and it is a further blow to my already dwindling confidence.


Does any one have any advice?

[sansou]

Promotions? What promotions? Clients and projects are drying up, there are redundancies across the board on top of pay cuts and it's only the start.

Hopefully, you're not on the bench and seriously, in normal circumstances, you would give it another 6 mths and probably walk if there was no change. In current circumstances, as an experienced hire, you need to toughen up and keep your head down. It'll be tough to get another job at present.

[yellowsunset]

@Kasparovski

Big 4 consulting is hugely multicultural / multiracial....why are you even mentioning this?

If you read her posts properly you'd realise that is not where she is currently working. Why are you even mentioning that?

[RNBrie]

@26willowdeandickson what you're talking about is "forced" or "stacked" ranking and every study out there will tell you that minority groups come out worse from this sort of performance review. Many large corporates have banned this sort of practice as it has been proved to be discriminatory time and time again.

[ilovemydogandmrobama2]

Right, so you were hired for your specific skills, and have been in your current role for 9 months, 3 of which were in lockdown conditions, so effectively had 6 months doing the job under, 'normal conditions...'

Seems to me that he is saying you need more experience, however that is said in corp speak. Forget the custom and tradition of people being promoted or him not using the proper words to ensure this happens.

Several years ago, when I started in a role, my line manager went off on long term absence, I had no training for the position and head of the department during a review, said that I wasn't achieving the KPIs, and extended probationary period. I was fairly devastated as probationary period reviews were mostly considered a paper exercise, however for lots of reasons, I couldn't lose the job, so listened to what he had to say, took on board the comments even though I disagreed, and for the next 6 months ensured that I performed the role he wanted me to do while also applying for other jobs.

In the end, I stayed with the company, although later moved into another role, but the point being was that sometimes staying and learning is the right thing to do.

Please don't go to HR and complain. You have only been in the role for such a short amount of time.

Am sorry that you performed well but didn't get promoted, but try to look at it as a training exercise. Not all feedback is going to be positive, and they have not sacked you - just that there are some developmental issues which is totally normal.

[sadannie]

This is the thing - what he has said is accurate completely. However it is also expected and normal - anyone else in my position gets the same feedback, HOWEVER the "number rating" they give is the normal one "meets expectations" but he has taken it to mean something else and put the one below which means that I will get penalised. He wants to put a comment that he doesn't want it to affect promotions and believes I should be promoted - but it doesn't matter, the number is all that counts in this bureaucracy.

The reason I think he's not sure is he is 6 levels above me as I worked directly with him. There's usually someone in between who would understand and rate you.

[sadannie]

@itsmineallmine this just made me well up, thank you.

[sadannie]

@purplepeopleeaters it wasn't that long ago... it's a huge differentiator. I grew up in poverty, they are Etonians mainly. This gives context to the culture.

[sadannie]

@comebackintothegardenMaud no I went to a Russell Group.

I wouldn't have got the job as a grad as I did an unconventional degree for the job and they only hire graduates from 5 unis as a rule (Oxford, Cambridge, Imperial, Bath and UCL).

I was a straight A* student though and have the qualification the job requires (ACA)

[sadannie]

@kasparovski my firm is benefiting from the recession - our revenue is up and we are recruiting during this pandemic. We have 10% more people joining in September

[sadannie]

I don't work at the Big 4! However, from my experience that is very very untrue. Also, there was recently an FT article that exposed this... @kasparovski

[sadannie]

@MaggieAndHopey mine is more specific, I work in financial modelling - I'm hired by other companies to come up with a number basically.

[Josette77]

It sounds like his assessment is fair and you will simply have to work on your improvements. I don't think your background or sex are issues here. Do you believe he is sexist and racist?

[sadannie]

I would never ever go to Hr, I don't think he's being biased.

The issue is the system, everyone interprets the form differently and not like him.

I have come up with an analogy in the shower.

Let's say I was a Maths teacher in a school. I get headhunted by a different school to be a History teacher. They specifically want a Maths teacher because they have the skill set they are after that History teachers don't usually have. I then get observed on a lesson and am told that my teaching is great but my knowledge of historical facts needs an improvement.

[purplepeopleeaters]

[quote sadannie]@purplepeopleeaters it wasn't that long ago... it's a huge differentiator. I grew up in poverty, they are Etonians mainly. This gives context to the culture. [/quote]
Pupil premium is only relevant when you are in school, once you've left and are at university and certainly when you are working it's irrelevant. You are presumably now not in poverty ?

[sadannie]

Sorry to add, the knowledge gaps exist forever, it's a constant learning curve. However, if the knowledge gaps were important every single experienced hire would get this issue but they don't.

We are hired for our accounting skill primarily.

I am not yet at the stage where promotions are just based on performance.

Provided you don't fuck up, you get promoted yearly and if you're very good you get double promotions - this will be for another 4 levels for me.

The promotions aren't now, they are at the end of the year but this automatically makes me unable to get it and is unheard of.

[sadannie]

@purplepeopleeaters yes it is important now - at university it was still important. Not having financial support during training is important... being in a culture you don't fit in is very important...

[VodselForDinner]

Let's say I was a Maths teacher in a school. I get headhunted by a different school to be a History teacher. They specifically want a Maths teacher because they have the skill set they are after that History teachers don't usually have. I then get observed on a lesson and am told that my teaching is great but my knowledge of historical facts needs an improvement

And would you be disappointed if you weren’t promoted to Head of History after 10 months?

[sadannie]

@vodselfordinner no I would be upset that I failed the lesson whilst every other Maths teacher in History got promoted despite being there the exact same time...

[sadannie]

I'm obviously really crap at explaining. So I am going to try and give some facts that might explain it:

• his assessment was somewhat accurate, perhaps harsh. However this would never normally be brought up, I'd be assessed as an experienced hire from a different background. No one else would ever or has ever had this issue happen despite being the exact same as me.

• promotions are at the end of the year and come into play in April. All my feedback will matter (it was "excellent" before) but having a certain number automatically disqualifies you for promotion. He has given me this number.

• the background felt relevant as I don't feel I fit in. There are 115 people in my department (we do our own hiring and have a different recruitment process to every single other part of the firm). There are 110 men (1 of whom is black) and 5 women including me. I am the only one who didn't go to a private school.

• I'm not really wanting to debate it. I took the feedback well and he was happy with our discussion, it was only after I realised what score he was giving me (the session was just pros and cons) that I got upset and came here to vent / get support. I am discussing it with my coach first thing.

• my firm is not suffering and is a listed company performing well, we grew over lockdown!

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

they are Etonians mainly. This gives context to the culture.

The majority of your colleagues are men from the same school? Really? Or are you using “Etonians” as a general term for privately-educated?

Also, can you explain how many different grades exist if everyone is promoted every year?

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

I’ve just read your update. How on earth do you even know where 114 people went to school?

[Puzzledandpissedoff]

what he has said is accurate completely

his assessment was somewhat accurate, perhaps harsh

I confess I'm confused now; of course it's impossible to know without being there, but surely those two statements don't really go together?

[paintedfences]

You’re getting a bit of the green eyed monster here op. Fundamentally, if you believe that you are in line with your peers, if he’s give you feedback in line with them, and they’re being graded higher than you, that seems incorrect. Be careful, and considerate, but arm yourself with comparative facts and speak to your coach first thing.

[Newkitchen123]

When you say promoted do you mean to a senior role or do you mean move up the pay scale?
How do the knowledge gaps last forever? You have a gap. You learn whatever it is. The gap is filled