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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

womens magazine 'shock' stories are they really real ?

164 replies

romeolovedjulliet · 30/06/2020 19:44

such thrilling titles like 'he shagged my mum then killed our neighbour' 'he raped me, i had quads but i love him' and such rubbish. the mags really have gone down the last upteen years judging by the titles. if this shit was written on here ifwould get deleted as troll fodder.
aibu to think this way ?

OP posts:

MissPiggee · 01/07/2020 05:15

@overnightangel

I remember one that started 'I knew he was the one for me when I saw him in the dole que' months later she caught him shagging a chicken she had left out to defrost.

No words 🤣

That HAS to be made up for a laugh. Was that the 1st April edition?

MissPiggee · 01/07/2020 05:18

Mind you @overnightangel, wouldn';t it make a crackign love ballad?

Our eyes met

At the local jobcentre
Over a pile of scary horrid forms
But little did we know
That a little time later
You'd get sick of me
and turn to shagging lifeless avian forms

chorus: oooo, life sucks
when you n the dole
and all that;s left is chicken bones
and broken dreams

and the yorkshire puds went soggy anyway

CloudsCoveredTheSky · 01/07/2020 05:46

"The 'tips and hints' are the best smile. I just searched for some and one came up 'If your hands are cold, hardboil some eggs and pop them in your pockets when you leave the house. Your hands will be lovely and toasty and you'll also have a ready made snack when you get hungry'."

I actually think that's not a bad tip really! For wont of anything else, they'd work.

Some of the tips are next level especially the many many ways to recycle CDs.

Doggybiccys · 01/07/2020 05:51

@Sparklesocks

I think it might be a mix of fact and fiction, and maybe some stories have been fluffed up to appear more scandalous.

I read a story in one of them once where the headline was something like ‘MY LOWEST POINT WAS STRIPPING FOR 20P‘ but in the actual story she was drunk in a pub, did a quick gyrating type dance to make her friends laugh and a bloke threw 20p at her as a joke.

@Sparklesocks - I just about choked on my tea laughing at that!

flyingspaghettimonster · 01/07/2020 05:57

I have been involved in 2 magazine stories. One my mother sold when she was doing a writers online correspondence class. It was completely true, though they did change our names. It even had our photos and they sent out a photographer for it. They blurred our faces out so no idea why they didn't just use fake photos.

Mum's story, if you are interested, was that my Dad had shagged Russian hookers on a business trip and not told her, so I was born with gonnorhia. I was blind for a week or so and it was apparently very embarrassing. Although not too embarassing that she didn't want it published for 500 pounds.

When I sold my own story I used an online company that finds you magazines who offer you prices for it. So I got 750 for my own story. Also true, although they took a weird spin on it and blew up one detail I had thought fairly irrelevant involving lemsip.

Doggybiccys · 01/07/2020 06:01

Not so much a shock story - more of a “top tips” for readers on the letters page. It was a sort of “Husband gets the rampant runs on holiday and you are fed up with him soiling himself? No problem. Simply make him a nappy out of an Argos carrier bag! And here is a picture oh him wearing it!”

It was a woman whose husband had the runs on holiday and she’d made him a nappy out of an Argos carrier bag or similar. Could have been a joke I suppose but would you really put yourself into a magazine doing that for 25 quid?

PollyPelargonium52 · 01/07/2020 06:09

My mum wrote two real life stories for a magazine many years ago. What they did was to embellish it quite considerably to spice it up but the bare bones of the storyline remained the same.

Whenwillthisbeover · 01/07/2020 06:11

@Sittingontheveranda

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll The 'tips and hints' are the best :). I just searched for some and one came up 'If your hands are cold, hardboil some eggs and pop them in your pockets when you leave the house. Your hands will be lovely and toasty and you'll also have a ready made snack when you get hungry'. :).

Another one suggested if you are holding a dinner party and run out of mint sweets, squeeze some toothpaste onto a parchment sheet and freeze it. Your guests will never know the difference :).

Gosh, I used to love these too, they are hilarious. The one my daughter and I still mention from time to time was all the useful things you could do with a panty liner including sticking them to the soles of your feet if you have no slippers.

I’m sure people just made up the outlandish ideas to get the £10 prize for an idea.

My2catsarefab · 01/07/2020 06:20

If you want a laugh there's a hilarious parody Twitter page called 'Take A Shit' where they share funny/naff hints & tips out of magazines.The best one has to be the lady who had no fascinator for a wedding so stuck a bath scrunchie on a headband and wore that to the wedding!

My2catsarefab · 01/07/2020 06:22

Sorry, the Twitter page is 'Take A Shite' not Take a shit' 🤣

notacooldad · 01/07/2020 06:26

Another one suggested if you are holding a dinner party and run out of mint sweets, squeeze some toothpaste onto a parchment sheet and freeze it. Your guests will never know the difference
Was this a handy tip from Viz?
😂😂😂😂

Wecandothis99 · 01/07/2020 06:35

I think so coz usually have pictures

Aposterhasnoname · 01/07/2020 06:39

I remember one that started 'I knew he was the one for me when I saw him in the dole que' months later she caught him shagging a chicken she had left out to defrost. Ridiculous but probably true, there are people out there like that.

I remember this one. He offered to lend her something from his extensive women’s clothing collection (Which she hadn’t known about) to get married in, but she declined and wore her favourite shell suit.

It was superb.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 01/07/2020 06:41

I used to be on a pre MN site called iVillage for women and was contacted by a journalist who said she had been reading my posts and would offer me £1k for writing a story of this aspect of my life for her magazine. I wrote it and sent it, but was a bit stupid not to realise that she wanted my real name and photographs, so I declined. It was nowhere near as scandalous as stripping for 20p or shagging frozen poultry but then it was 2004.

SmileyClare · 01/07/2020 06:42

I got £750 for my story although they took a weird spin on it and blew up one detail I thought fairly irrelevant involving lemsip

The mind boggles

DuineArBith · 01/07/2020 07:07

I stopped buying women's magazines when they decided we all had such low attention spans that we couldn't cope with stories or articles that span more than two pages.

Thinkingabout1t · 01/07/2020 07:08

Misspiggee, I have nominated you for the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Pelleas · 01/07/2020 07:16

Everything happens 'in time'.

'In time, I gave birth to twins'
'In time, he was sentenced to five years in prison'
'In time, I married my pet goldfish'

The80sweregreat · 01/07/2020 07:30

I don't buy them now , but I used to now and again in the 90s and they were dreadful then too.
Full of nothing much and the usual big story of love and lust or ( even worse) death.
The sad thing was the amount of poor women taken in by men who were complete bastards although it's hard to know what was true or not of course.
One stuck with me was a woman given a Gypsy curse as a child and had so much bad luck that may as well have been true.

The80sweregreat · 01/07/2020 07:31

Lemsip gate !
Maybe it was too hot or something? Too lemony?

IHateUserName · 01/07/2020 07:40

I remember one that started 'I knew he was the one for me when I saw him in the dole que' months later she caught him shagging a chicken she had left out to defrost.

I'm simultaneously shocked & helplessly laughing at this. The things some men will stick their bits into, or stick into their back end.

The80sweregreat · 01/07/2020 07:45

The thought of doing anything to a defrosting chicken apart from just cooking and eating it , is beyond me! Honestly , some men are clearly
deranged.

megrichardson · 01/07/2020 07:45

@IHateUserName

I remember one that started 'I knew he was the one for me when I saw him in the dole que' months later she caught him shagging a chicken she had left out to defrost.

I'm simultaneously shocked & helplessly laughing at this. The things some men will stick their bits into, or stick into their back end.

Isn't it odd, I'm laughing at the first part of that opening sentence. An unemployed man, what more could a woman want?

Cattermole · 01/07/2020 07:48

We're not allowed to have TaB, Chat etc in our office, since we had a run of clients appearing in the pages.
I can vouch for at least some of the stories....

CorianderLord · 01/07/2020 07:51

Yes most of them are real, but dramatised a little. The number of times I've written a real life story and the comments all say it's made up. ITS NOT I really did interview that nutter!

Sincerely, tabloid journo (not the Sun or Mail)

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