AIBU to think I shouldn't already fit into my old jeans 8 months pp?

[BabyLlamaZen]

I lost some weight immediately after giving birth and thought it would be easy, but then nothing. I felt ok as I had just had a baby and told myself that as it takes 9 months for my body to grow, it should take 9 months to get it back. And that was without lockdown and the fact you are exhausted and have a baby to look after. I also hate the pressure on women and assumed it wouldn't be just me.

I am now 8 months post partum. I
went out for a socially distant NCT picnic last week and started noticing (now that we're less wrapped up in coats) that the others looked super slim and were wearing jeans (around size 8/10). And some of them seemed to have put one lot of weight when pregnant. They are all 8 or 9 months post partum.

I went to another one today and there were different members of the group, but also really slim! One of them was still in leggings and long tops but she looked really toned. Everyone else back in normal jeans.

I literally cant get any jeans to fit me. I had a pair of size 12 I bought (always a 10 before) that were a horrible strain and just dont fit. Most of my weight is thighs and hips. I wasnt too bothered but seeing them has now made me worries it's taking me too long. I dont know how they do it. I also feel like I still look really unattractive.

YABU - you should be able to fit into them by now

YANBU - it takes longer than 8 months if at all

@Ullupullu actually that's a good point about my hips widening. Jeans are a bitch anyway.

@laurieMarlow I am!

Being tied to a baby 24/7 can't help. Bf makes me so hungry.

BabyLlamaZen

That could well be it. I couldn’t lose, no matter what I did. It’s common enough actually.

@SmileyClare people keep telling me (including my mum) that they did nothing and it just fell off them! I used to be like that so I guess my body is saying 'you're definitely a grown up now'.

Yeah the weight dropped off me when I stopped bfing. With my first, I bottle fed and was back to my thin self very quickly much to the annoyance of some mum friends who accused me of "secretly dieting" I was very young with my first which definitely made a difference.

That's not a reason to stop breastfeeding though. Everything will get easier, don't beat yourself up about it OP.

Agree with a previous suggestion- buy yourself some lovely flattering clothes in your current size so you feel great right now. Jeans are overrated when you're jumping and crawling about with a baby.

I had no baby weight as I was sick throughout pregnancy so couldn't eat/keep food down, thinnest I'd been in years through over a year of breastfeeding when I couldn't eat enough to not be hungry, piled on some weight afterwards and can't shift it.

I've just kind of accepted it now. We are all different!

Yabu. Any excess weight now is down to lifestyle choice not "being a grown up". Unfortunately the "eating for 2" myth is quite common. If they're all in shape, why not you?

If they're all in shape, why not you?

Perhaps because she’s bfing and hormonally that prevents some women losing weight.

Or she’s too tired, stressed, etc etc.

Why be an unnecessary bitch to her?

It really is such an individual thing. With DC1, I didn’t really gain weight apart from the bump. I was back in size 8 skinnies within a few weeks, but my rib cage had expanded, and some of my evening dresses never fitted again. I gained a little more weight with DC2, but I struggled with breastfeeding and had to eat a lot to make sure he was getting what he needed. I gained weight over his first year, and four years on, I still carry some of that despite dieting and exercise.

OP you need to give yourself a break .
Enjoy your baby and don’t compare yourself to others - you are unique- a special mummy to your baby 👶🏻

We are all different- I was huge when pregnant 🤰- absolutely massive bump.
My tummy was washboard flat hours after delivering... just luck ... my mum is tiny .. I’m size 6 it’s genes ...

I don’t expect praise or points ... I didn’t do anything... and I would never look at someone’s shape post partum - I’d be cooing over their baby .

Yellow sunset .. that was very unkind .

@Tunnocks34

I’ve put YABU but what I mean is YABU to judge yourself by how other people look.

I was in my pre Pregnancy jeans 1 week after giving birth each time. Nothing I did to make it so - just genetics. There is no right or wrong way you should look within a certain time frame.

You could have made your point without making OP feel worse by showing off about being back in your jeans.

Everyone is different. Some gain loads when pregnant and some not so much. There is no right or wrong. Most important is eating healthy and nutritious to help body heal and for breastfeeding.

I tend to gain 23kilos or more with each pregnancy. Naturally I’m slim with no effort and eat what I want (but I do like eat veggies and salads w meals). Anyway, this pp (third child) I managed to lose all the weight 6.5 months after. I thought for sure during lockdown I would not be able to lose any weight. But it came off slowly as usual. I still look slightly top heavy because I’m breastfeeding. So boobs look big. I think it does help that I have the other kids to look after. So I go to the park. I’m constantly busy. And I don’t snack much. I have normal breakfast lunch and dinner: maybe one snack.

Honestly OK buy yourself some nice clothes in the size you are now and enjoy your baby.

Every woman is different. I was back in my jeans after 8 weeks, but my friend is 5 months post partum and still isn't. Your body recovers differently

Can only echo the sensible posters on here - everyone is different, OP. If you’re eating reasonably healthily, and being reasonably active (as much as you can do either of those things with a baby!), and you feel healthy and ok in yourself, you’re doing fine for now. I know it’s a big deal at the time but I promise you that when your baby is going to school or wanting sleepovers with their mates or heading out into town without you, when you look back on this time you won’t even think about what you looked like. If it really gets you down there’ll be time in the not too distant future to sort it out, and when that time comes you’ll wish you’d had more cuddles with your baby when they were little. And you might find you never look like you did before - my body shape changed permanently after each baby. I don’t look the same as I did, but it’s fine, I’ve had 3 babies so why would i expect to look the same!? You’re doing great OP, please don’t give this too much headspace!

I gained 10kg throughout my pregnancy. Never needed maternity clothes, most of my indoor clothes (tracksuit bottoms and t shirts) fit me the whole time, and going out I just got normal clothes in the next size up.
After giving birth my stomach was back to normal within a day or 2, I never had that round belly after I'd given birth. I was back in my pre pregnancy jeans within a month. Could have been sooner but I wanted to be comfy while my stitches healed and I was bleeding.

Pregnancy changes your body for good, even if you get back to your old weight and size there is no guarantee you'll be exactly the same shape.

I was back in my old jeans within a month after both babies, but my chest and back got broader each time. I got back to my old weight quickly (even managed to lose additional weight after DC1) but still found my old shirts and tops tight as my body shape has changed.

Really, really don't worry or compare to others.

Are you actually doing anything to try lose weight - if that’s what u want obviously?

Only the mantra of 9 months on/9 months off is to take pressure off but weight isn’t going to just come off after pregnancy

I had to go the gym from 8 weeks after birth 3-4 times w week to shift it and I’m someone who loses weight easily. I also I admit half crashed dieted because I didn’t want to live with the extra weight

If it doesn’t bother you then don’t worry! If it does bother you then don’t wait as you’ll need to work it off somehow

You could ask your friends. They'll probably love you because a) they'll be flattered and b) you're opening up and talking about your insecurities.

Please don't be hard on yourself. Most women have hang ups. I might have lost weight fairly quickly after pregnancy, but my hair went really shit! I was down about that. Your friends will probably have similar worries about loose skin, stretch marks or saggy boobs or whatever. Pregnancy is pretty savage on your body and we all have that awful inner critic.

Maybe they had industrial strength control pants on and rushed home from your meet up to rip them off in relief and change into their baggy tracksuit bottoms.

DD1 - probably would have if I'd tried. But the section scar hurt too much to even think about it.

DD2 - I was definitely smaller on the whole than at conception. But my stomach was bigger. And I'd worked out by then that other people's expectations of post natal Mums were fuck all to do with me.

What do you feel like? If your answer is 'Duh, I'm breastfeeding - I feel hungry', then don't worry about it. If it's 'I'm hungry and tired, so I tend to grab chocolate bars and fizzy drinks for an energy boost', then you could possibly improve your intake and have more sustained energy with a possible side effect of losing some weight without affecting your supply.

But if not, don't.