To think you don't just turn up when someone is working from home .....

[BigSandyBalls2015]

…. friend has driven an hour to 'pop in' for a coffee with her teen.
I feel bad that I've turned her away, but I've got almost constant phone/zoom calls this morning, plus other stuff going on. I can't just ignore them and sit with her.

I know I've stopped to do this , but that's literally seconds!

I know she doesn't get it, and thinks I'm being a rude cow.

I don't mind someone who happened to be walking past knocking the door on the off chance - some days I can be flexible, and others I can't, but she's a fool to have driven an hour to 'unexpectedly' call in. you'd make arranements for that whether the person was WFH or not, surely?

You're not being rude.

Slightly different but when DS was a toddler my mum insisted on phoning for long chats during the day. She was really pissed off with me one day for taking DS to toddler group and not hanging around at home waiting to see if she was going to call. She wouldn't call my mobile for some reason though .

Some people believe that your time belongs to them.

Inconsiderate and a bit daft of her!

It's annoying. I'm on the phone and can't choose my work hours, my breaks and lunch are timed. Lucky if I get to answer the door to the postman let alone have people drop in!

I would be pretty pissed off if someone did that to me to be honest. I work from home anyhow (pre covid) and have many meetings, conference calls etc with clients and the is a very clear distinct rule with all my friends that they don't just turn up. There is nothing worse than the doorbell ringing, the dog barking and general chaos whilst on an important conference call with clients. It is more acceptable now to be at home but in the past I have not particularly advertised the fact I am at home and hate to look unprofessional with the dog barking or whatever.

I cannot get my head round why anyone would just 'pop in' unannounced to someone's house. It's so quick to just send a text to ask if you're free.

@HanPanPeg

It seems to be retired people who think that because you’re at home you’re free - my mum is the same. Fortunately it’s just on the phone but she is equally offended when I say I don’t have to talk.

There is no indication the OP's friend is retired. On the other hand this retired person wouldn't dream of it.

"Retired people" are individuals, just like the rest of the population.

I get this all the time. Why can’t people understand that we’re working!

Maybe we should start popping into our friends’ workplaces for a coffee.

YANBU. My ex used to rock up at lunchtime when I was WFH and just expect me to be free. And a friend at the moment keeps suggesting we catch up on a week-day morning without so much as a thought that I might be at work! I might not be physically in an office but I AM WORKING.

Drives me insane.

I used to have this when I worked in offices in central London. I have worked at various Unis and Art galleries and people were always popping by if they were up town shopping/sight seeing or something. It was usually friends and family who were self employed, they found it hard to understand I couldn’t stop and have lunch/coffee breaks/knock off early when I fancied.

YANBU -no way. I used to get similar. I worked as a nurse doing night shifts. The attitude of folks when I was trying to sleep in the day was unreal. People who knew I’d worked a 12 hour shift and was back in that night would think nothing or ringing me , dropping by. Then husband mentioned to in laws that he tried to keep the kids quiet for me and they said they wouldn’t pander to me 😳

I’m a childminder, so always work from home and it took my mum a LONG time to realise I didn’t want her to just drop in for a coffee. She was also a childminder and doesn’t appreciate how the job has changed and it infuriates me.

When I’m working, I’m busy, I do not appreciate visitors calling in for a drink and a chat!

We have a situation in our group of friends, where one member is desperately trying to work from home with 2 bored dc around all day, another friend keeps telling her she needs to take the Ds out for a game of football on the field or for a long walk. But she is on her computer/meetings for much of the day and can’t take an hour or 2 out for childcare duties. Why don’t people get that working from home isn’t sitting about watching tv. It’s actually being productive and getting stuff done!

It’s the height of bad manners. DH and I are both working from home. Some days are flexible, others are scheduled so tightly I struggle to make lunch for the kids!

That’s bloody rude! What did she say when you turned her away?

I’ve worked from home for years. I am sort of hoping that post-covid people will start to understand what it actually means.
No I’m not around to have a coffee
No I won’t take everyone’s parcels
No I can’t just “pop out and do x”

My mother in law keeps doing this. It’s because the kids are off school.

However, they can’t entertain her. I had to come off a zoom conference call after lunch to let her in and explain I was in the middle of a call.

She lives 10 miles away, I have no clue why she doesn’t call. Doesn’t turn up at DH’s work, abd he’s her son. Feels like another thing for women to deal with 🙄

Just popping over unannounced to ANYONE at the moment is bloody rude!

also, you arent allowed in other peoples homes at the moment anyway...

I used to do at least one day a week from home in my last job. My mother kept asking me what day ‘my day off’ was each week so that she could give me a ring then for a proper chat. It took a lot of work to drum in that I didn’t have a day off.

Doesn’t turn up at DH’s work, abd he’s her son. Feels like another thing for women to deal with

THIS!

It's another form of "women's work (unpaid or paid)" isn't important. Which to those of us paying the mortgage, it clearly is.

I am in the "you don't just turn up FULL STOP" camp anyway!

It's just rude, and not only "at the moment".

It means people value their own time more than yours, and are willingly ignoring the fact that you are busy/working/have prior commitments/ can't drop everything at the drop of a hat.

Maybe the lockdown will have shown some people that it's NEVER acceptable to pop in unless you know that the host specifically welcomes it and loves nothing more.

I get the same sort of thing and so do a lot of my friends. I think the harder your job is to explain, the less people believe you have work to do. I really dumbed down my job explanation to my in laws so now they know I might be 'running an internet event' so they better not assume I am free.

i also worked from home for a few weeks pre-lockdown. i.e. working fulltime, mostly in the office but now and then from home.

for some reason my mum thought i'd gone part time.

when i specifically remember telling her as part of the arrangement how nice it was to have no commute but how i miss seeing people instread of just zoooming them all the time i.e. having to have a lot of work calls in the day.

why she thought i'd gone part time is beyond me. or if it was my day off why would i be taking back to back work calls?!

Yanbu

Does she have form for stuff like this or is there maybe something wrong?

I don't like popping at the best of times. I'm due to start working from home next week (returning after mat leave). Luckily I can see the front of the house from my new office. If I don't need to see whoever just pulled up I just won't answer the door.