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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Too feel kind of low about being paid so little?

76 replies

Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 08:23

I'll start by saying I like my job. The company is great, cool colleagues etc... They me MW for a job that yes it's simple but I could do much more. In fact before I left on ML the idea that I was going to get back to more responsibilities but COVID changed the business (for better) and now they need me for something else (which is fine). I think this would hurt slightly less if I didn't have to reject a job offer for £70k+ but it required relocating and we couldn't do it.

Anywho I'm taking this with philosophy as it's just a means to an end. My current job will help me fund my retraning in clinical psychology.

As much as it's sucky I know I'm fortunate to still have a job given the pandemic.

OP posts:
Usernamqwerty · 30/06/2020 09:29

Fressia - I assume you need to do a psychology conversion course? I did mine part-time in the evening while working full-time and then did a relevant MSc part-time over 4 years by distance learning again whilst working full-time. However trying to get a place on a course is another thing! I hope you are aware it's really competitive. I gave up after several interviews without a place and then went on to have two children and 3 years out of the workplace, so I don't think I'll get another shot at it. Good luck! X

Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 09:31

Cooler what I do is fairly niche. I've had a few pointers of £35k jobs but then COVID happened.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 30/06/2020 09:31

You have a choice - NMW job, or £70k job, you chose the NMW job for family reasons. YABVU to feel sad about being in a position to make that choice. Stealth boast - much.

nettie434 · 30/06/2020 09:35

@Fressia123

We're a blended family with 50/50. Relocation is not that easy. We put our family first even if that meant some "financial struggle" for now.
Now I understand why you didn't take the £70k job, although it would have been such a huge increase in income. Agree with Nooch about how difficult it is to get on a clinical psychology course. You will be competing with people who have also been in low paid jobs working as mental health support or outreach workers to get experience. I knew a mental health nurse who worked on research projects for several years before she got a place. They are also doctoral courses rather than masters. It ill take a long time so you need a very clear career plan.
Mazna · 30/06/2020 09:37

I'm surprised someone whose posts are so difficult to read is able to command a 70k salary (or train to be a psychologist), but every day is a school day I guess.

ssd · 30/06/2020 09:40
Grin
Ellisandra · 30/06/2020 09:42

Take the £70K job. Negotiate some WFH. Get cheapest local digs for when you need to be in the office. Talk to your ex about arranging days so that the days you’re physically away are the days they are with him, as far as is possible. Expect your current partner to step up. Do the job for a year, bank as much money as possible, leave.

edwinbear · 30/06/2020 09:43

I'm surprised someone whose posts are so difficult to read is able to command a 70k salary (or train to be a psychologist), but every day is a school day I guess

^^ This Grin

Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 09:43

I'm aware it's long game. I have the limitation of only being able to study at one university. It's also the lowest rated (which might help, who knows!)

I've also acquired a sense of purpose that I didn't have before. I'm still very hopeful for the future even though I'm slightly pissed off about the salary but c'est la vie!

OP posts:
Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 09:44

Ellissandra that ship has sailed! It was on site anyways so absolutely no chance of WFH (something I currently do, which is a blessing in disguise).

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 30/06/2020 09:56

@Mazna

I'm surprised someone whose posts are so difficult to read is able to command a 70k salary (or train to be a psychologist), but every day is a school day I guess.
Yeah. I didn’t want to sound bitchy by saying so, but you’re absolutely right.
MGMidget · 30/06/2020 09:56

I think a lot of people make family choices over career/salary so you are not in any way alone. However, you have seen the 'bigger picture' and made a choice to suit your family and you have a plan. I think there is plenty to feel positive about and you have proved to yourself that you can be successful if applying for a well-paid job. Therefore, you could consider looking for something better paid locally and putting the same effort into the application and interview process as you did for the job you were offered. Alternatively you focus on your study plan with your long term goal in mind. No need to feel sad about it in my view.

EarPhones · 30/06/2020 09:57

It's either £70k job or MW job, really? A person commanding a salary that high should be able to pick up a good range of office jobs between 40-50k without any effort, covid or not.

Daisydoesnt · 30/06/2020 10:00

I'm surprised someone whose posts are so difficult to read is able to command a 70k salary (or train to be a psychologist), but every day is a school day I guess.

You beat me to it! What sort of linguist uses "As much as it's sucky..."???

Frozenfrogs86 · 30/06/2020 10:01

I understand OP. You know you’ve made the right choices for the right reason but you’re having a little melancholy moment wondering about the paths not chosen. I hear you. Well done on getting that job offer and well done for making the right choices for your family. These things are never easy.

Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 10:03

MGMidget there aren't many local jobs locally, after all we're the poorest county. I've been to recruiters and my CV to them is extremely puzzling, they really don't understand my skillset. There's a few remote jobs but I still need to live somewhat nearby, which makes it impossible.

I have a clear career path and I'm going to put my everything to it. Even if that isn't fruitful, at least I'll be keeping my skills fresh until I can relocate .

OP posts:
mindutopia · 30/06/2020 10:10

Is there really no way you could relocate or travel for the job you actually want?

I applied for an amazing job on a whim at the end of my last mat leave. It was the perfect job for me on paper, but it was 3 hours away from home. I figured it would be worth the interview experience if nothing else. I was offered the job and it's been no problem to sort out the details. I work long days and commute, but it means when I am home, I'm fully home and have extra days off each week with my dc. And they get lots of lovely time with dh on my work days. It's been absolutely wonderful and I can't believe I almost didn't take it. My dc have adjusted just fine. I have a very nice salary and lots of opportunities for progression that I wouldn't have otherwise had.

If you are on mat leave, presumably your dc are young. They will be absolutely fine with a move or changes in your routines.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 30/06/2020 10:11

I'm surprised someone whose posts are so difficult to read is able to command a 70k salary (or train to be a psychologist), but every day is a school day I guess.

It's awful, but I've got to agree. Is English your first language? Because you're not communicating particularly well.

Nearlyalmost50 · 30/06/2020 10:16

I have a very well qualified friend who has taken a not great pay job in the middle of the pandemic, she is stuck location wise but needs the money and recruiters are taking advantage to offer low wages- and that's if you can get a job in the middle of a pandemic. The job market is brutal out there, she applied to 100's to get this one. So this tale is slightly more plausible (but only just) than it sounds.

OP- if you are saving up for the Masters, and then hoping to do the psychology clinical doctorate, that is a lot of traveling placements usually, plus you need lots of experience to even get onto the course. Plus a great academic track record. It is very hard. Not to put you off, but just try the Masters conversion first and see how you get on, there's many pathways to doing well in psychology and it may be that the full clinical training isn't going to work for you and your family if you are stuck location wise (my friend who did it was moved about the region extensively).

Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 10:17

I'm being lazy and typing as I normally would "talk". I tend to write (sometimes) in a stream of consciousness kind of way, I find it useful for introspection.

That being said I'm switching between two languages at the moment so that might make it more difficult to understand (different syntax rules).

OP posts:
ellsom · 30/06/2020 10:17

Are you in Cornwall op?

If it was me I would have taken the job, for £70k you could have easily made a new life and the dc would have got used to it and if like you say there's no jobs locally where you are now then dc future jobs will be sparse there too.

Fressia123 · 30/06/2020 10:23

Yes, elisom I am indeed. It would have meant not seeing our other two children apart from during the school holidays. Very different to being here 50/50 and inolved in their everyday lives.

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 30/06/2020 10:23

ime speaking 3-4 languages can be helpful in some jobs, but if they are not a required part of the job profile they will not command a salary uplift.

If you cant relocate you need to change your skillset to something less niche that is marketable in your area.

Boohoohoohooho · 30/06/2020 10:29

Not sure why so many posters are being so snide. I can understand the OPs posts easily.

OP, NMW is very low, Obviously! Are you able to negotiate with your employers at all?

MintyMabel · 30/06/2020 10:36

You can possibly be in a situation that your only option is a low paid job where you are or a high paid job you have to relocate to.