Tonight I have broken

[Boredbumhead]

I feel so stressed with sore gums and tonsillitis and shivers. My boss is emailing me asking to do some edits on my presentation tomorrow. My 4 year old has literally been playing with matches all day. Hrs just shoved bubble wrap in the wood burner which has melted on the glass. Him and 8 year old had been running in and out of the house all day. Slamming doors. My nerves are in sheds. P has been out all day doing a sport then started slamming doors homself before sitting down at his computer and ignoring the kids. I have just lost my shit. I keep saying good bye world to myself, and meaning it because I am sick of it all.

Are you usually such a doormat?

Your husband is a selfish arsehole.

Hope you feel better soon and that you take steps to protect your weekends.

Take a break OP.

But you need a locked cupboard to store matches if your child is getting to them. In the meantime, take them out and lock them in your car glove box, if you have one, or put them somewhere he cannot access.

You can also look online for fire guards and other devices to block access to your wood burner. Please do this.

How are you feeling op? I hope you have managed to get some rest & are on the mend

Thank you. A bit better, though I checked my tonsils and they look like pitted golf balls. The kids are incredibly destructive right now. One pulled down the shower rail in anger and it doesn't seem fixable. He also chucked a drink carton in the bushes. They got my favourite unread magazine and ripped it up and put it in the wood burner (they seem fixated on the wiodburner). The other has been an arsehole today ever since I told him he needed a brain break from the shit he likes to watch in his laptop. The little one found my chewing gum. I'm so done with the oldest in particular right now. He's 8 but I asked him why he's behaving like this and he says it's because he's a teenager 🙄. I feel like giving them away. Or running away!

Do you let them get away with this shitty behaviour as well? Or are there no boundaries or consequences.

You're in for a nasty shock when they turn into actual teenagers.

Where's the dad in all this?

Goodness, can you get childproof locks for a woodburner?

That sounds really worrying.

I wonder if they're especially playing up because you're not well, OP.

My DB used to if our mum wasn't well. He was a bit of a sod at the best of times, but if my mum had a migraine or something he really used to ramp it up. I'm 10 years older, so I had to be in charge, DDad was working in Germany for a few years so wasn't around during the week. He got better, but from 5-8 he was a nightmare.

@Blanca87 their dad was in work all day today. He's taken them over since he got home, made dinner for them etc. I've escaped to hide as all my patience is gone.

@Mamia15 what consequences do you suggest for a 4 and 8 year old?

Have you guys not isolated or got tested then?

OP I hope you’ve spoken to a GP to get any medication to help. If you’re poorly then ride the children’s behaviour out. When you are feeling well again you need to teach or children that for every action there is a reaction.

When my children help me in the garden or around the house they get a reward. Sweets, chocolate etc

Misbehave and their flavour of the month gets taken away. At the age they are now it’s their consoles and phones when they were younger it was other things.

Most importantly say what you mean and mean what you say. Once your children realise they will see that if they misbehave mum AND dad will stick to their guns

So am still off sick and can see the work emails rolling in. It's so tempting to dive in but should I resist? Perhaps it will make them appreciate me more.

You must resist and set boundaries op for work emails. If you start replying you give the impression you're not I'll when you are. Stop being a people pleaser and just focus on getting better! Big hugs

OP why are you even checking work emails?

If you have been signed off sick there are actually legal implications for you doing this. Please don't.

Get well soon.

Don't dive in! Take your sick leave. Yes, hopefully it will make them appreciate you.

Well done for putting your own oxygen mask on!! You need to be well to help everyone else.

Ignore work emails - you are sick. They will have to cope. They will be fine.

When you are better, you need to sit down with DP and get some behaviour mgmt in place for the kids. Mine are 8 and 5. Yes to rewards - pebbles / marbles / stickers for all good behaviour / calming down / chores or school work done.

One warning and your out for everything else. Used to be naughty step but now is usually more about less screen time / toy gets removed etc and as PP said you have to be consistent so no big threats that you can't / won't carry out. You MUST follow through every time. They soon learn.

OP I am so sorry you are still ill.

I know how you feel and I am not even ill. My kids are driving me to distraction.

Does your work email have an 'out of office' message? Does it say who to contact in your absence?

Do not answer work emails when ill, it makes it look like you are not really ill.

Consequences my 9 year old.. Loss of device for 30.minutes or an hour or A day etc. Smaller punishments are better because of they can see the return of device later that day, they may sort out behaviour. Also loss of pocket money!

Rewards for good behaviour.

Lots of praise for good behaviour.

This situation is unprecedented so all if us are going through this with 4 months 'practice', all kids are probably getting away with much more than usual!

Good luck, get well soon.

Please ignore your work emails.
I hope you feel better soon

You need to prioritise your kids safety right now more than anything else. You should have phoned your DP when you became unable to handle the kids and him come home and help. Matches should be up high out of reach. I understand how bad tonsilitis can be. I've had a quinsy in the past as well but you have to get your DP or another family member to help. If this carries on someone could report you for child neglect. I dont mean to scare you but it can happen x

Don't be dramatic @Spinakker my kids are perfectly safe, fed and happy. That was one bad day..Dp can't just walk out of his job, however he is looking after them now, while I have a nap.