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AIBU?

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Original poster

Tonight I have broken

69 replies

Boredbumhead · 28/06/2020 20:34

I feel so stressed with sore gums and tonsillitis and shivers. My boss is emailing me asking to do some edits on my presentation tomorrow. My 4 year old has literally been playing with matches all day. Hrs just shoved bubble wrap in the wood burner which has melted on the glass. Him and 8 year old had been running in and out of the house all day. Slamming doors. My nerves are in sheds. P has been out all day doing a sport then started slamming doors homself before sitting down at his computer and ignoring the kids. I have just lost my shit. I keep saying good bye world to myself, and meaning it because I am sick of it all.

OP posts:
Starbuggy · 28/06/2020 21:34

Your P needs to step the fuck up and take over with the kids. Tell him you’re going to bed and he needs to be the responsible parent ( you shouldn’t have to tell him, but for your 4 year olds safety in particular don’t give him the excuse of thinking you were dealing with it).

Go to bed, ignore the chaos as best you can, get a “comfort food” type tv program or film to watch or an audio book to listen to and try and block out the noise from the rest of the house. Take painkillers and try to get some sleep.

Tell boss you’re ill and if you feel well enough you’ll deal with it tomorrow but you can’t do it tonight. Then turn your phone off.

Be kind to yourself OP Flowers

ImAncient · 28/06/2020 21:36

Poor you op. Echoing what others have said. Flowers

Unescorted · 28/06/2020 21:38

Are you contracted to work over the weekend? If not turn you computer and phone off and ignore your boss. Your boss as a pp said should not be mithering you over the weekend.

Explain to your Dh that if he takes his bike out without a tag along / kids on their bikes you will pop his onto ebay with a 1p reserve. When he says it is not possible send him the link to here [https://thecyclerider.com/] about a bloke who rides everywhere with his kid.

Unescorted · 28/06/2020 21:39

link fail thecyclerider.com/

BillBaileysBum · 28/06/2020 21:41

You’re ill! Give in and sleep.
Let the kids have screens and jam sandwiches tomorrow all day.
But please hide the matches.

Flupibass · 28/06/2020 21:41

Goodness me take a week off not a night. Give your body chance to recover. It’s your illness that is making you feel unable to cope. How can you possibly look after a young child and work when you are ill ? Remember you are a human being and be kind to yourself and firm to others about the rest you need. Don’t return to any kind of work until you are completely recovered. Is my advice.

diddl · 28/06/2020 21:43

4yr old playing with matches & a wood burner?

And his dad pissed off for the day?

Hope you're better soon, Op.

Tonsillitis is horrible.

Really tiring but can't sleep as so uncomfortable (in my experience)

MamanSparkles · 28/06/2020 21:45

Assuming you are UK, none of you should be going anywhere! Covid can present as tonsillitis, and if you have a temp (which it sounds like you do) you need to isolate for 7 days and your partner and kids for 14. Please don't go to your mum unless you've had a negative swab (and even then remember they only detect 70% of cases).
Sorry, it sounds so awful. Since your partner needs to isolate for 14 days, tell him he can bloody well look after the kids whilst you recover. And your boss can't argue, 7 day isolation is government rules. Get well soon!

istheresomethingishouldknow · 28/06/2020 21:50

Your husband should have been home today watching the child(ren) if you're unwell. But to come home after having the day to do his thing and then continue to do his thing?! Absolute arsehole.

Tell him to fucking parent his DCs and go to bed. Text your boss you're very unwell, you'll be going to the GP in the morning, and you won't be in.

MadCatLady71 · 28/06/2020 22:01

If a member of your team - someone you manage - were as sick as you are now, would you expect them to be working right now? I’m sure you wouldn’t. So show yourself the same consideration.

Do the online 111 COVID symptom checker just to see whether you should be getting a test. Call them if you’re uncertain.

Sleep.

If you feel no better tomorrow morning, call your GP. Life is hard enough for working mums at the moment without throwing being ill into the mix - so make getting better your first priority.

Lysianthus · 28/06/2020 22:06

I’m so sorry you are feeling rotten. Echo all the others who have excellent advice re telling your boss you’re ill and that she’ll have to sort the presentation. Your partner needs to read this thread. Please prioritise yourself as you can’t do everything (anything!) if you’re feeling shite. Hopefully kids are being put to bed by him now. Feel better soon 💐

carlywurly · 28/06/2020 22:08

Op, you sound like you need an awful lot more support. That said, a 4 year old just can't have access to matches.

I'm so sorry you're unwell but your child could start a fire which has absolutely catastrophic consequences. your partner needs to step up and watch them properly so you can get better.

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 28/06/2020 22:23

Go to bed. Dose up on drugs. Can you text you Mum or a friend or message /email them and get a taxi and go and stay with Mum -and fuck off for a few days to get better. Tell your boss how ill you are and that you can't speak and will be at your mum's and to ring your mum but you are going off sick you are too ill.?

donkeyoatey · 28/06/2020 22:27

You poor thing. You are not well. I agree about getting a Covid test. Also, it may make your boss think more seriously before emailing you if she realises how serious it is.
Dose yourself up and try to rest. 💐

Italiangreyhound · 28/06/2020 22:34

I am so sorry things are so tough. Some good advice here. Your boss must not phone you at weekends. You cannot work if you are ill.

Please take matches off the child and ensure they cannot get them again.

Your dp needs to step up.

Thanks
Inkpaperstars · 28/06/2020 23:00

I agree with Maman. You all need to get tested if you haven't already, and isolate. During which time P needs to step up and give your a break! Flowers. Hope you feel better soon. If you can get someone to drop some shopping round get ice lollies and let them melt in your mouth to try and ease your throat.

Original poster
Boredbumhead · 28/06/2020 23:13

Thanks all. You've showed me to put myself first for a changed. Sent along my presentation so someone else can deliver it tomorrow.

OP posts:
TheMamaYo · 28/06/2020 23:15

I’m sorry you are feeling unwell. But matches and melted bubble wrap is kind of a big deal. Take those risks away, get your partner to step the fuck up and your boss to back the hell down. Are you getting paid for working over the weekend?

The longer you wait to get rest and self care, the longer it’ll take to get back on your feet.

Original poster
Boredbumhead · 28/06/2020 23:20

I kept hiding the matches and he kept finding them. I was watching him like a hawk but too ill to keep getting up. It was a bad bad day. Thanks for your advice all. I have messaged the boss and asked her to allocate to someone else.

OP posts:
frustrationcentral · 28/06/2020 23:34

Good for you, now tuck yourself up and get yourself better x

gingerbiscuits · 28/06/2020 23:36

You poor thing. Your Boss is taking the piss but your husband sounds like an utter dick!

He left you with 2 kids all day when you were so ill?? Especially when he shouldn't really be out anyway? And you have symptoms that could possibly be Covid? Then comes home & doesn't help with them or care for you?? Prick!!

Call in sick to work for a few days, try to get a Covid test to be sure you're not risking others & as long as it's negative, go to your mum's for a few days & leave the kids with him!! Then have VERY SERIOUS words when you're feeling stronger.

Hope you feel better soon.

EKGEMS · 28/06/2020 23:36

My only bout with tonsillitis landed me in hospital on a drip for 4.5 days. Please get to a physician in the morning.

Original poster
Boredbumhead · 28/06/2020 23:43

Covid can present as tonsillitis, and if you have a temp (which it sounds like you do) you need to isolate for 7 days and your partner and kids for 14.

OP posts:
Original poster
Boredbumhead · 28/06/2020 23:44

I didn't know that thanks.

OP posts:
weathervane1 · 28/06/2020 23:44

I think when you are feeling up to it, you need to speak to your boss. There is a big difference between you doing work off your own back over a weekend to help you get in a good position for next week, and your boss starting to habitually expect you to not have any time for yourself or your family. Working so many extra hours rarely gets noticed and mostly does not get rewarded either through reward or promotion. The only person benefitting from your hard work is your boss. Speak plainly and let her know that whilst you don't mind helping along with the rest of the team and her on an exception only basis, you are finding that it is becoming the norm and you are having no time to relax and rest at the weekends (the clue is in the name) and state clearly that moving forward, you need to be able to leave work on a Friday knowing that you won't be disturbed and that you and your family can make plans and stick to them. Any decent boss will realise when they have been pushing their agenda (or their own lack of a social life / excessive ambition) onto someone else.