to ask if you've ever regretted moving out of London?

[thisusernameismine]

We are thinking of moving out of London (I've been there 17 years now). In very early 40s with one child (likely our only). Would go within a few miles of my mum. We would like a bigger place/garden for half the price as well.

Anyone ever made this kind of move and regretted it?

We’re considering moving out of London but have no idea of where would be a nice place to move to....have explored various places in Surrey/Hampshire/W and E Sussex but it’s really hard to tell what a place is like from a day trip

That’s not what I got from this thread overall at all.

I should add that the positive experience I shared is as a non British working class family.

Thank you for the continued interesting responses. Really eye opening. I think in our case it's true that we don't get the most out of London anymore - usual working week leaves us too knackered and now we have a nearly 2 year old, even less opportunity to go out (not to mention covid).

I don't want to be a SAHM, but equally can't see myself working in the kind of job I just left. I do teach fitness part time and hope to keep that up, and ironically even though there is better opportunity to continue that in London, it will be more cost effective leaving my child with my mum and sister (at their absolute insistence!) for the day if I can get a few classes in a day and then just make the day trip myself.

Renting is an interesting idea, we just LOVE our home here, but I can't put my hand on my heart and say I take advantage of what London has to offer and I can't see myself on a tube in the near future (post covid) - we are in zone 3 - so I wonder if that means it's time to leave. I lived in Leeds during uni and loved every moment, so as a PP suggested, we will think carefully about access to Oxford city centre so it's not a massive shock.

If anyone has any suggestions on north or west Oxfordshire areas I'm all ears

(That was a reply to the poster with a rather scathing view)

Although I don't miss London itself, I miss the easier life with everything on my doorstep. Commuting as an absolute killer - I've never been so tired in my life.

Make a list of what you want/need MollieMaeve and then see which locations tick those boxes.

For instance, when we moved we wanted: fast train into area of London where DH works, small city or large town with good local amenities, location that would allow us to get to my family reasonably easily, good schools, attractive town/city centre, etc.

Only you know what your priorities are and maybe they're totally different to mine, but be ruthless and do lots of research online. You should be able to narrow down your search considerably if you are rigorous about your criteria.

@bookmum, multiple borough have free swimming for kids (eg Waltham Forest, Hackney...) and some even have free lesson (tower hamlets, Southwark...) . It is though a feature of some ‘deprived areas’ I guess

@MollieMaeve

We’re considering moving out of London but have no idea of where would be a nice place to move to....have explored various places in Surrey/Hampshire/W and E Sussex but it’s really hard to tell what a place is like from a day trip

We did a list as a PP suggested above and then searched up and joined local FB groups of places we’d visited that we had liked to get a better feel of what it might be like to live there. Most towns (and some villages ) have them. It helped us discount places where the discussions on the pages led us to feel might be too quiet, or not a good fit for our family...

@Atadaddicted - I'm so intrigued. Where on earth is like Hampstead? I can't imagine. Hebden Bridge? That's more Hackney, I think. Somewhere genteel but artsy and left-wing and cosmopolitan...I genuinely want to know because I want to live there too.

If you need a train route to London then I would suggest Bicester on the Chiltern Line. The town has a lot there as it was given the governments 'Garden Town' (I think it's called) status and has new facilities built. The train line gives you fast access to London and you can also go up to Birmingham on the line if you fancy a trip to a different city, the train also goes to Oxford plus there are buses to Oxford.

Lewes ticks those boxes too.

Love London but love to have more space and a house. Interesting to hear all your views but what about jobs outside London and salaries? We’d move if jobs out there, nervous

I know a few people who regret it but that's because they're London born and bred. They don't miss London as much as miss being at 'home' and close to their families. It's not a specifically London thing though and only one of them actually misses London as a city.

Yup. Left for my home city (often in the best places to live in the UK lists).

Missed the buzz.

Moved back. Now earn the same and pay double the housing costs but wouldn't change it.

@THisbackwithavengeance

This thread really exposes the contempt that white middle class Londoners have for literally everyone else in the UK.

I would suggest that you stay in London in your bubble of like minded people and pseudo-socialist politics and stop sneering at locals.

Many of the posters on this thread aren't Londoners. They moved to London from other parts of the country. Not that I've seen much contempt (except from people like you towards Londoners).

To avoid misunderstanding. My last post wasn't intended to suggest someone living in but not born in London is a lesser person or anything like that. Just pointing out to THisbackwithavengeance that many posters are as much non London local as she is. Some might even come from the same town or village she's from.

I regret it every day. We moved out 7 years ago to the South Coast and now we priced-out of London.

We lived in Zone 1. Two minute walk to the river, Five minutes to mainline station, 25 minute walk to West End. If I could go back tomorrow I would.
Don't do it.

So glad you posted @thisusernameismine. My biggest fear is once you leave it feels impossible to get back financially. I could never be in the home I'm in now if I was just getting on the ladder. The totality of the decision feels extra fear inducing.

Londoner born and bred. Moved away over 30 years ago. Regret it every day.

I think it varies if you are born in London or if you moved there as an adult then settled for a bit. I was born in London and even tho I left properly at 34 I still think of it as my home.

I initially moved out at 32 to MK but still commuted back and hated it. 8 months later I moved back. Then at 36 we moved to Vancouver and regretted that - not so much missing London just it was tough. H is not. Londoner so we moved back to Sevenoaks. Still near enough to London for me and far enough away for H. We now have moved again in Kent but still local and I don’t regret it at all. I can still get a fix of ‘home’ easily.

We moved out because of dps job.

I felt sick at the thought before we had even moved.

I never settled.

I don’t think I spoke to anyone for nearly 12 years.
Every time we tried to move something would come up to stop us.

Worse move we ever made.

I am not Christian, I didn’t have children and I don’t drink so I should have made Dp go and commute back at the weekend.
I was never going to fit in.

Should say I am not a born and bred Londoner but always knew it was where I would live.
Came down as a teen and moved back (all be it to zone 6) after our disastrous move and vowed never to leave the M25 again.

Potentially making a move to zone 1 and can’t wait.

Moved out when I was a kid. Wasn’t my decision so it wasn’t really regret, but I would have gone back in a heart beat and eventually I did as an adult. It wasn’t just friends (though that was the worst) but the lack of public transport, sports facilities, museums and shops was a huge loss. I went from being a busy, fairly independent teen with access to great clubs with incredible coaches/leaders to dependent on parents to transport me most places and limited clubs/activities that were generally kind of mediocre. This was decades ago, but I see the same issues with moving out of a (different) city now with 12 year old DC.

I’m about to move out from London to Hampshire. Can not wait. Will still be in a city with all these magical things like street food and excellent restaurants and near another city with more of these apparently London only things. Will be by the sea and by the countryside, and near family and friends (grew up in the area). I’ve lived in London 9 years and worked out I’ve paid over £85k in rent, by contrast the mortgage I’m getting on an actual house which is not even double that amount. Keeping my job and commuting 2ish days a week, wfh the rest of it.
London is great if you are on a decent salary and can afford to enjoy everything. If not, it starts to get a bit tiring after a while.

Yes. Every day.
Better for the kids, and we are near my mum, but I would move back today if we could afford to. I feel like me in London whereas here I feel like I’m acting a role.