to ask if you've ever regretted moving out of London?

[thisusernameismine]

We are thinking of moving out of London (I've been there 17 years now). In very early 40s with one child (likely our only). Would go within a few miles of my mum. We would like a bigger place/garden for half the price as well.

Anyone ever made this kind of move and regretted it?

I find this very interesting as I have my own head battle weekly about a move like this. I moved out before, found a better quality of life but tbh it was very hard to find people I fit with politically, and in terms of beliefs about climate etc. I know those progressive places do exist, but don't seem to be near where family life. The politics of the last year have been a real eye opener.

Now with dc it's harder to contemplate. I think we have so many benefits to being in a big city, so much culture, opportunity, wonderful friends. And yet I know for 1/2 the cost of our home we could be mortgage free with a proper garden. That's very hard to stomach at times when things are so tight financially. I've given myself 3 years to decide - at that point each dc will be facing a transition that would make moving easier. But I also struggle with regretting it.

From experience I know there are some factors I'd be looking for when relocating which I know from experience are worth having. You might hate living in a highly populated area, but would you really want to live in a totally isolated detached house with loads of land? Some extreme examples, but for me, currently, I want to live somewhere with neighbours. Mainly for DC's benefit, but also security, convenience etc. I know from experience having to drive to do/buy anything is a balls.

Do you like going out? For me, having places within walking distance of where I live, possibly cycling, is ideal.

Meeting people who've left London and cannot afford to return makes me think twice.

I did the opposite. DH and I grew up in villages. I loved not ferrying teens around as buses are free, I liked they could live here and study. The little ones have tons to do.
Also life in London is often quite subsidised. Free children on transport, lots of free events, free summer sports for kids like karate etc. Free swimming for kids. Although housing is more there are tons of very cheap food options of good quality and activities are cheap. I even eat fancy artisan bread and stuff I’d never buy from apps like Olio or too good to go.
I also like not driving, I rarely need to. Cycle lanes have become good and transport is cheap.
I love my neighbours don’t know my business too, I don’t miss that!
Also again although housing is more my job is London weighting pays a lot more and the house I’ve lived in for 9 years has nearly doubled in value.
Different people like different things, but London really isn’t all bad for families.

Raining Meatballs free buses for kids and free museums yes but where in London are you getting free swimming and sport activities? None round my way (and I live on a crossroads of 4 boroughs so I don't just base it on 'my' borough).

BlueTuesday I live in London and if I want a decent shopping area I have to take a bus or train to get there. My nearest decent ones are generally a 25 minutes or longer journey. Where I am temporarily now (medium size midland town) I can walk to town in 15 minutes or so. Very few of the things I enjoy in London are 'walking' distance from my Zone 3 home The place is so big they are miles apart.
Takes ages to get anywhere in London!!

OP as you said you were looking at Oxfordshire don't make the mistake of thinking it's London vs Cute Little Village. There are plenty of decent towns in Oxfordshire with a large variety of things to do. There is plenty of history/theatre/culture etc in Oxford itself. You don't have to move to a place where you will be stuck in the middle of nowhere with no supermarket and driving the kids around everywhere - just move to a town.

Moved from London to Sydney. Not a day goes by that I don't regret it. Trapped here now. I'd do anything to go back.

Not London, but another big expensive city. Occasionally I start to miss it. Then I have to visit for work and hate almost every single minute. The noise, the crowds, how tiny everything is. The only good thing are the restaurants. I’ll stick with my big house, quiet streets, and excellent schools.

Lived there for 15 years left 8 years ago. I 99% don’t miss it it regret it. The things I very rarely miss are things I wouldn’t or couldn’t do anymore anyway.

We moved to a small town in Hertfordshire because we thought it would be a bit like living in Richmond or something. Oh my goodness, we were so wrong! It's hard to describe why we hated it so much without offending people who live in places like that, so apologies if anyone thinks I'm being horribly rude but, in short, there was nothing to do, nowhere to go and nobody to become friends with. We were also quote openly viewed with suspicion due to being "foreign". This was before Brexit, but there was a strong anti-European sentiment and several people asked us more or less outright what we were doing there.

We moved back to London after less than two years and we've never been happier. (Luckily we never sold our house so could go back easily.) Now we know we don't want to live anywhere else - London is hectic and busy but it's also got amazing parks, leisure activities and entertainment. And so, so many people. You will always be able to find people you click with because there's such amazing diversity. And you will never feel "too different" because everyone is different here.

I grew up in east London and had moved away for university (north Midlands for undergraduate degree and south west for postgraduate degree). Came back to London after postgraduate pretty much knowing that I wouldn't be hanging around. 9 months later I moved back to the south west and that was 16 years ago.
Don't regret moving at all as I wouldn't have been able to have the life I've experienced had I stayed in London. Most of my family don't understand why I left London, as it's so multicultural (I'm BAME) but I live in a fairly diverse city but it's just not as hectic as London.

Sounds like your intention short term is to be a SAHM. A big downside of commuterville is that, depending on your situation/field, moving out and your H commuting is likely to have a significant negative impact on your future personal ability to earn money/build pension. unless your H would be willing to make changes to his working life (which many men are unwilling to do).

We decided on balance to stay in London, mostly because DH and I both work and we couldn't cope with two commutes. Over the years we know a lot of people who have moved. Only one really regrets it mainly because they miss the easy access to restaurants, theatre and because they find they have little in common with their very middle England neighbours.

We left six years ago and don’t regret a thing.

However, we are both in professions which can be done everywhere, so no commuting. We moved to the outskirts of Birmingham - I don’t think we’d have made the move if it meant moving to the commuter belt. Within half an hour in various directions we have the RSC and the theatres and ballet of Brum.

Definitely no regrets here. I grew up in London and spent my early adult life there. I now live in a small city (~200,000 people) with very easy access to countryside and I would absolutely HATE to go back to London. I don’t even like visiting for more than a few days.

I remember coming home from holidays to London always felt so incredibly depressing, but when I come home from holidays to where I now live, it feels comforting, safe and peaceful.

No regrets here. I'm on the same salary and traded our tiny house in a shithole where I was scared to walk around at night, to a bigger house in a very desirable area with a smaller mortgage. We are an easy commute from a big northern city so plenty of culture, restaurants etc.
The only thing I miss about London is the architecture- there's nothing like it. And the variety of everything. But it's easy to go for a visit. When I lived there I rarely took advantage of what was on offer as I was so worn out by commuting during the week. It's more fun as a tourist

Not for a moment. I lived in London for 9 years but really disliked it, so it was a relief to leave.

This thread really exposes the contempt that white middle class Londoners have for literally everyone else in the UK.

I would suggest that you stay in London in your bubble of like minded people and pseudo-socialist politics and stop sneering at locals.

Lived in London for most of my life , we only moved out 5 years ago and I don’t regret it at all.
Every time we go back we’re surprised by how busy it is and the traffic is terrible.
Only thing I miss is the tube but we can get into central London in 20 mins from here which is quicker than when we lived next to a tube station in north London !

Sometimes yes, but not overall. I tend to miss it when I'm bored. There definitely isn't enough to keep me entertained where I am. I miss just stepping out of my front door taking a walk along Regents Canal or walking into China Town (we were in zone 1). It was a great and exciting place for the kids to grow up in. Now we have beautiful country walks which I do appreciate but very little happens on these walks. We have cinema, gyms and some shops too here too but not the same interesting mix of characters.

We moved a short distance out (home counties) and while I have missed London occasionally it was absolutely the right decision, so no regrets at all. DH still commutes in, but his commute from here isn't much longer than it was from our area of London. Our DC have a much better life here than they would in London and neither of them like London at all. There, we'd be living in a terraced house with small garden probably, here we have a large detached house, big garden, driveway and we can either walk into town or out into fields and countryside. No way would I move back to dirty, smelly, crowded, concrete-covered London now and that goes double since Covid hit.

I enjoy London far more now when I visit. When I lived (in zone 5 admittedly) and travelled into the city for work I was often so exhausted. I rarely went out.

Now we’ve moved out of UK. Of course I miss it - but if you’re moving into the countryside or just a smaller city, there’s lots to be gained. And you can still visit London.

It is so true that a certain kind of lifestyle (slower pace, country walks) is simply more easily achieved out of London. If you’re trying to love that in London, going against all the pace and energy is actually more exhausting. And the quiet! Omg I don’t think I could ever live back in London simply just down to noise

@THisbackwithavengeance
That’s not why I get from this thread at all. You sound a bit angry that people have had bad first hand negative experiences with certain types of people. Do you think it’s ok that the BAME poster felt that she’d experienced awful racism? She wasn’t saying everyone was like that. She was telling us about her experience.

What I can see is that people are choosing the wrong places to move to. There’s huge swathes of “middle” England that are a touch right of wing. And if you’re not that type of person then those places are going to be hell for you. Not everywhere is like that.

If I was going to move it would be Bath/Bristol/south coast or Manchester

London is a fantastic place to live. I just wish all my friends hadn’t moved out!

Nope. Moved in 2013 when DD was 4 and I was 35. We moved semi rurally (small medieval town) with beautiful architecture, countryside and amazing schools. It's food for my soul.

I do miss the multiculturalism - but that's literally it.

When I collect DD from NW London after visiting her dad I can't wait to get out.

I was a Londoner for 15 years, from 19, and I had the best time for the majority of that time. So I don't regret my time there for one second, but the time was right to leave.