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AIBU?

To have had one small glass of champagne last night (26w pregnant)

373 replies

bluemoon2468 · 28/06/2020 11:36

Basically, what I'm trying to establish is how many mums can actually say they didn't have a sip of alcohol during their entire pregnancy?

Last night I celebrated a friend's birthday with a very small glass of champagne, just less than half of a standard size champagne flute. This was my first drink since a couple of weeks before I conceived, aside from a few very occasional sips of other people's drinks here and there (e.g. tasting a cocktail DH made a few weeks ago with a small sip). I have no particular plans to drink again whilst pregnant, but I won't rule out another small drink at some point before I give birth if I fancy it.

I'm pretty comfortable with my decision, but am just wondering whether in reality most mothers engage in the occasional drink in pregnancy or stay strictly tee total?

OP posts:
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Yesmate · 28/06/2020 12:36

You are going to get slated by all of the perfect mothers OP. Why set yourself up for this.
For what it’s worth, I think a glass of champers is fine.

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AryaStarkWolf · 28/06/2020 12:36

I think its fine

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123th · 28/06/2020 12:36

I didn't once I found out - I'd had like 2 glasses at 3 weeks. But I'm not a big drinker anyway, and I've seen someone not with fetal alcohol syndrome so didn't seem worth it when I don't really drink anyway.

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Namesgonenow · 28/06/2020 12:36

The “selfish mum” responses don’t merit a reply

The “don’t see the point” response is more interesting I find, alongside the other response “no evidence of harm might still mean harm”. Because these two are not approaches that one would take for the vast majority of things in life. The same people who come back at half a glass of champagne in 9 months with “don’t see the point” would not, for instance, say the same about numerous other things to do with their lives lifestyles or parenting over the next decades. That’s not how we live life. This “don’t see the point” stance has been mobilised a lot during the pandemic lockdown for instance as a tool with which to berate anyone not operating stringent over and above self imposed restriction. For instance - “we didn’t go for a permitted walk because it’s just trees here - don’t see the point.” Or “we lived without milk for 7 days because water would do just fine so didn’t see the point of the risk of a supermarket trip”.

That is fundamentally not how we live life. We risk assess, based on available evidence, consider a range of personal factors, and make a range of decisions about us and those we care for. Shall we eat organic only? Shall we never have artificial sweeteners? Shall we get on a plane? Shall we (insert topic of choice) since the jury is still out on if it is 100% safe?

If I were you OP, I would not start such a thread. There is little point.

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redpickle · 28/06/2020 12:37

I'm going to be totally honest, I had a glass here and there during my 2 pregnancies. DS, now 9 is dyslexic and has some working memory issues. Ok, there may not be medical evidence to say that this has anything to do with these small glasses of wine here and there BUT I will always feel guilty and full of regret. The only way I would have been sure that it was nothing to do with my choice to have the odd drink is not to have had them in the first place. I can't go back and change these decisions but if I could, I would take away that element of possibility and awful guilt. At the time we were told it was fine to have a small glass but I should have been more critical in my thinking. In the three years between my pregnancies advice had changed from NEVER eat peanuts in pregnancy to "small exposure is recommended".

My advice with hindsight would be not to bother, it's the only way to be sure that any issues that arise in the child's later life weren't a result of the decision to have a little drink.

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elliejjtiny · 28/06/2020 12:38

I found the smell of alcohol or even grape juice made me puke with all my pregnancies except with ds2. With him I had half a glass of champagne at a wedding before I knew I was pregnant. I loved the smell and taste of champagne all the way through so I drank so much schloer and also had a champagne flavour perfume that I would carry around in my handbag.

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feelingverylazytoday · 28/06/2020 12:39

@Apple1029

If you can stop yourself at one, why not just have nothing? Cant imagine why you would be that desperate? Its really your choice and I'm sure it's safe, but it's so grim watching a pregnant woman drinking.

Don't watch then. I'm sure no one will miss you.
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JaniceWebster · 28/06/2020 12:39

You can't be that comfortable in your decision if you need for others to pat you on the back and tell you well done.

Some of us didn't drink. Full stop. It's a choice. In reality, some women do not drink. at all. So what?

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roarfeckingroar · 28/06/2020 12:39

YANBU at all.

The odd drink is fine. I'm 25 weeks and have a small glass of wine every week or two. I feel absolutely no shame, I've read up on the risks and I'm happy with my choice.

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Bookoffacts · 28/06/2020 12:40

Back in the 1990s my GP told me it would do not harming to have a small glass of wine and week when pregnant and she had done it.
My mother was encouraged to drink Guinness during pregnancy by GP.

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roarfeckingroar · 28/06/2020 12:40

Never under estimate the extent to which people like to judge pregnant women / mothers.

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LittleMissRedHat · 28/06/2020 12:40

I enjoy the taste of alcohol and was very sad at the thought of missing out for 9 months so when I was pregnant I spoke at length to my lovely doctor and did my research and the last three months or so, I had one small glass of wine every Friday evening. It made me happy and my doctor said, happy mummy, happy baby... My daughter is one of the most chilled out children you could ever meet. Grin Wink

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AnimalCrossing · 28/06/2020 12:42

It’s fine to have the odd drink in pregnancy. The guidelines are there to curb idiots who would drink themselves into oblivion. You having a glass of champagne is fine.

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CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 28/06/2020 12:42

its done now
do you want a hammering?

i think it is fine op

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UltimateWednesday · 28/06/2020 12:43

I can't believe how shocked so may are. The main risk is in early pregancy anyway, there's no harm in what you did OP.

The only thing that would have stopped me is that I don't see much point in half a glass of champagne Grin

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JanewaysBun · 28/06/2020 12:43

I also found with DD that I couldn't stand the thought of any alcohol as it made me feel sick but nothing else did. Had the odd one with DS but only a sip or 2

I craved a lot of chocolate with DD ...

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NoWordForFluffy · 28/06/2020 12:45

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Why is everyone on MN so incredulous that people can go without alcohol? Its bloody weird.
I didnt drink a drop of it during pregnancy because the mere thought of it made me want to hurl. I dont feel thats completely odd or unusual as I know others who didnt drink anything aswell. Its 9 months. Its perfectly possible to not drink for that long (I'm not criticising anyone if they did btw) but just commenting on this weird idea on MN that its IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to leave off the booze for a few months. It definitely is possible and its not weird.

Literally nobody is saying that!

I had the occasional drink after 13 weeks with both kids. Not much and nothing to write home about.

I give zero shits what any sanctimonious people say about it!
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BlingLoving · 28/06/2020 12:45

These threads always make me laugh. I had a small glass at least once a week, sometimes twice. Never felt a moments guilt.

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userabcname · 28/06/2020 12:46

I didn't but only because I had terrible heartburn and all I wanted to drink was gaviscon! I think a small amount of alcohol is fine. My NCT course leader actually recommended having a warm bath and a glass of wine when we thought we were in labour as a way to relax! Sadly I was induced so couldn't follow this rather excellent advice.

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HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime · 28/06/2020 12:47

I didn't drink from knowing I was pregnant until DD was about a year old, think I had a drink on my bday a couple of weeks before hers. I'm not a drinker anyway though and regularly go months without.

However during pregnancy I was very, very sick (lost 3 stone) and could barely keep anything down and what i did manage to consume I made sure was nutritious.

You've made your decision and doesn't sound like you regret it so crack on you know the risks and can make your own decisions.

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Crystal87 · 28/06/2020 12:47

I have never felt the need to drink in pregnancy. I don't see the point. By the time you're enjoying it it's gone and going to make me only want more. However, it was a one small glass and was you're decision to make. So I don't think you did anything wrong

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Crystal87 · 28/06/2020 12:48
  • your
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RoosterPie · 28/06/2020 12:50

Of course it’s absolutely fine. I had occasional half glasses, and so did most people I know.

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GabriellaMontez · 28/06/2020 12:51

A glass of wine twice a week.

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MaverickDanger · 28/06/2020 12:51

I’ll be 29 weeks at a friends wedding and will have a small glass to toast them.

That will probably be it, but I don’t see a problem with someone having 1-2 drinks over a 9 month period.

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