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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New neighbours extension plans

629 replies

Greenfingeredsue · 28/06/2020 09:03

Hi all

My current neighbour has died. Now probate is completed her house is being sold.

Her son has prospective buyers. He has mentioned in passing to me that they want to extend the property out the back. I am wondering wtf they can’t just buy a house that meets their needs?

The gardens are quite big so there’s plenty of room for them to do this. However, we don’t want them to.

We need a new shed, so my husband has suggested we build a new one with a greenhouse on their side right as near to the boundary as we can, next to the house.

We’ll do this once contracts have been exchanged so we don’’t scupper the sale, plus they would have to get planning permission.

My only concern is that the new neighbours could force us to dismantle them so the builders can work?

OP posts:
Thurmanmurman · 01/07/2020 11:42

You sound like terrible neighbours. I feel really sorry for the new owners moving next to you, I hope they give as good as they get and don't let you intimidate them, because you sound like the type who would try.

StoneofDestiny · 01/07/2020 12:05

The surveyor has said that a tree on that side could cause an issue if its roots have grown too close to the boundary

could if

Important little words.

HotSauceCommittee · 01/07/2020 12:07

I don't blame you, OP. People do seem to plough on with extension for months and years on end.
I expect that the lack of information and detail about this is exacerbating M.G. tour concern, as it would mine.
I wouldn't want building work next door, but would be easier with it if I was told it would only be for a couple of months, minimal, not overlooking you or blocking your light and that they were employing considerate builders.
The lack of consideration is key here. I (I can't see the voting buttons on this one) would say YANBU as no one has spoken to you, you don't know what is in store and how bad it could be.
I would tell the prospective buyers that it was not happy. Please be honest and don't let them buy without them knowing how you feel. Your ex neighbour's son sounds dishonest and greedy. You owe him nothing.

Piglet89 · 01/07/2020 12:23

@HotSauceCommittee has a case of the SUES.

LockdownLemon · 01/07/2020 12:23

YANBU. I agree that you currently have no idea of the scale and duration of the work, how disruptive it will be for you or the impact on your life. Why on earth would you agree to access through your garden when you have never even met these people?
Several times I have helped a neighbour it has back fired - they have taken the piss and I've ended up being very unhappy.
Based on that, my default position would be 'no', because you can always change your mind if they are decent people.

HotSauceCommittee · 01/07/2020 12:36

[quote Piglet89]@HotSauceCommittee has a case of the SUES.[/quote]
Do you mean the prospective buyer could sue?

Piglet89 · 01/07/2020 12:36

@HotSauceCommittee hasn’t RTFT either.

Parker231 · 01/07/2020 12:37

The tree wouldn’t be a issue - a tree belongs to the person who owns the land on which it grows. However, where the roots of a tree encroach on land owned or occupied by a neighbour, they are entitled to chop back the roots to the boundary line.

Piglet89 · 01/07/2020 12:37

See the comment from @Kateguide , @HotSauceCommittee

mummabubs · 01/07/2020 12:56

I understand you don't want your garden to be used as access, which is your right I guess. I wonder however whether in the long term it would be better to negotiate on this as I have no doubts they'll get planning permission as you appear to have zilcho valid arguments against it other than you don't want anyone to extend a house ever, and you obstructing all access will just mean it takes longer!? The builders will have liability insurance so if any damage was done to your garden that will be their responsibility to fix, so there goes that argument!

You say in your OP that you don't get why people don't just buy big enough houses for them rather than extending. What a privilege you have to be in a position to be able to outright afford what you want in a house. For some (arguably the majority of us) this is not how the world works. Plus when you buy a house, you're technically buying a plot of land. You have every right (within the law) to change how the property on your piece of land looks and works for you. I find it really sad that your replies demonstrate no capability to reflect on your position and have set this neighbour relationship to fail before you've even met them. I hope they build their extension and are happy there.

LockdownLemon · 01/07/2020 13:54

Definitely 2 camps here - those who want to/have already extended, and those who have had their lives made hell by the dirt, noise and all the other disruptions that accompany building work next door.
Whichever side you are on, the OP is under no obligation to let her neighbours use her garden for access/scaffolding etc. during the work. The fact that the potential buyers are already checking this out prior to purchase gives some indication of the size of the works planned and how considerate they intend to be.

wonkylegs · 01/07/2020 13:54

@Greenfingeredsue
You can build quite close to trees with care, without any problems as long as you take account of them.
I know this professionally & personally - I am currently building a building that is 1m from an existing large mature tree line - it's position is dictated by planning as it's a conservation area. Worked closely with the structural engineer to design a foundation which won't damage the trees and allows the trees to grow without damaging the new building.
It's a fairly extreme example but that's why we use SEs, building professionals etc all these 'difficulties' you are imagining are fairly standard parts of development in this country. Very few sites have no restrictions.

LockdownLemon · 01/07/2020 13:56

PS - A family member is a developer and often buys houses to do up and sell on. He always pretends he is buying it for himself, that he will be living there simply on the basis that most neighbours will bite their tongue for the duration of the work if they think they will be living next door to the builder long term. Makes his life much easier.

TryAnotherNickname · 01/07/2020 14:22

But OP didn’t ask if she was unreasonable not to allow access through her much loved garden (no, she’s not). She asked if she was unreasonable to try to scupper the entire possibility of an extension by spending money on putting a shed/ greenhouse right up against the boundary in a misguided and frankly spiteful mindset. For that, she is entirely unreasonable and also failing to see the wood for the trees
(Would bet my bottom dollar she already has a 2 storey extension as well as yappy dogs that bark all day)

SoupDragon · 01/07/2020 14:31

Definitely 2 camps here - those who want to/have already extended, and those who have had their lives made hell by the dirt, noise and all the other disruptions that accompany building work next door.

I'm not in either of those camps.

LolaSmiles · 01/07/2020 16:39

Definitely 2 camps here - those who want to/have already extended, and those who have had their lives made hell by the dirt, noise and all the other disruptions that accompany building work next door

Actually I think most people are in a third camp: people who accept that renovations are part and parcel of life, can be annoying, but it's perfectly possible to manage as long as all people involved are rational and reasonable adults.

StoneofDestiny · 01/07/2020 17:22

Lola - agreed

LST · 01/07/2020 19:32

OP can't you come back with your views on why you think you're getting so many YABU?

Greenfingeredsue · 01/07/2020 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HotSauceCommittee · 01/07/2020 19:40

[quote Piglet89]@HotSauceCommittee hasn’t RTFT either.[/quote]
No, I just have a different opinion to you.

acatcalledjohn · 01/07/2020 19:47

Sure. People/mumsnetters who build Extensions are selfish cunts who have No consideration for people living around them.

It's not MNers/people who build extensions who are cunts.

Parker231 · 01/07/2020 19:58

OP - I’ve read the whole thread now but still none the wiser as to what the issues are. Your potential new neighbours might build an extension - you don’t want them to (although I can’t work out why not?), you don’t have grounds to legally object so it’s looks like you’re just going to be awkward? Problem is this will backfire as you’ll end up with a poor relationship with your neighbours and their building work will take longer so more noise and disruption for you. I don’t understand?

bluevioletcrimsonsky · 01/07/2020 20:03

Most people are willing to accept some kind of annoyance with neighbours. Can be something like tolerating neighbour extending, or children making noise. Because we know we maybe the one annoying the neighbour sometimes, someday. It's mutual. If you want to live peacefully, you want to be in friendly terms. That's not being cunts. You are, by trying to create problem even before it happened. It is very sad some people have such a negative mentality. Someone like you really should live away from others, where no one can affect you, and no one can be affected by you. Depressing.

AmazingGrace16 · 01/07/2020 20:15

So it sounds like they will probably get planning permission. There's nothing you've said that would indicate they won't.

You have two choices.
Be as obstructive as you can and make life as difficult for them as possible. This will have natural consequences of there being a very difficult relationship between the two of you because they'll build regardless. In actual fact, they will probably be oblivious to your total grumpiness and will live a happy life in their new extended home whilst you stew on it daily.

Your other choice is just to suck it up and not try and deliberately stop them from doing it. It'll result in a far more pleasant future for you both.

For what it's worth, I had a neighbour who really didn't want their fence to be removed in our extension. We left a 3cm gap between the party wall, built anyway without a step on their side.

Kateguide · 01/07/2020 20:20

Hi OP thanks for getting back in touch with us. I think, as you can see from the vast majority of posts that, as long as the neighbours can come together and work out a ways of working, building an extension does not need to be awful for anyone. I guess it is how you choose to approach it