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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bin off the homeschooling

379 replies

Lemons1571 · 27/06/2020 20:49

God I’m probably BU. But bloody hell I've had enough. 14 weeks of working ft, plus trying to fit in twinkl, Oak, Khan etc. Watching my Year 4 get more isolated and sad. Feeing like a loser / outsider when the school send out their weekly newsletter asking Reception to bring in x, y and z and Year 6 to remember their deposit for (insert end of year activity).

Honestly the thought of Monday makes me want to throw things at the wall, and it’s not even Sunday yet! Got a bunch of corrections sent through on last weeks schoolwork which I now have to try and fit in around Skype work calls, deadlines, appraisals. Anyone else just about had it? So tempted to tell child to not worry about it too much and have some screen time.

I don’t need help with coping or with mood or anything like that. I just need to not have two full time jobs.

tomorrow’s another day

OP posts:
JaniceWebster · 29/06/2020 13:35

CallmeAngelina
It is not "schools" who have chosen this state of affairs. They are trying to do the best they can, amidst constantly changing goal-posts.

That is totally up to the schools now. If they have the space and resources for full time for half the school, they have enough for part-time for most.

We all had to step up, make changes, work with our kids in the background and we ALL struggle to work in this current climate. The only difference is that state schools don't have care about their intake, won't lose clients or business or rating, so are not stepping up at all.

Pretty much every private school has exceeded expectations, because they had to justify their fees, and fair enough. State schools should have at least offer a minimum.

ceeveebee · 29/06/2020 13:38

@LaurieMarlow

I hope you find time to be a family.

We’ve never had less quality family time than right now. It’s all relentless juggling of two full on jobs, childcare, what schooling we can fit in. The weekends are shot too. It’s miserable.

Us too.

Today I left my two 8 year old children downstairs at 9am with a plate of food, some worksheets and a laptop and haven’t seen them since as I have been in back to back video calls. We certainly don’t have time for baking and arts & crafts. When I do go downstairs in a quick snatches break we will no doubt have an argument as none of the work will have been done and they will have been watching tv all day

That makes me and them feel like shit and we could not be more miserable right now as a family.

MarshaBradyo · 29/06/2020 13:38

That is totally up to the schools now. If they have the space and resources for full time for half the school, they have enough for part-time for most.

I agree for primary. Oddly y10 limit to one quarter so even if the school can accommodate more students they won’t take them in. Ds’ hours reduced when that rule came in as they were doing a good job at meeting more students needs before it was introduced. Quite a spacious school.

lozster · 29/06/2020 13:39

@TokyoSushi @CallmeAngelina

I mailed my MP this morning to ask them to lobby for equal access to education with no discrimination based on age or parental occupation. They have now asked the department of education for an answer to this point.

loulouljh · 29/06/2020 13:40

It is crazy that access to education depends on parents occupations!!! I suspect the Department of Education won't respond...

MarshaBradyo · 29/06/2020 13:40

Ceevee so tough on you all. Honestly Dh is back to back all day I boggle at laying school on top of that. I really feel for wfh plus this. Hard enough here with a toddler, but work on top so much harder.

loulouljh · 29/06/2020 13:43

Working at home and trying to get kids to work is a form of torture. It really is. It is not a warm and glowy family environment that some people would encourage us to have. It's a stressful and frustrating environment all round.

TokyoSushi · 29/06/2020 13:45

@lozster brilliant! The more I think about it, it really is school just for those whose parents have the right job, that's literally insane!

Lemons1571 · 29/06/2020 13:45

@Parker231 that video extract of Gavin being interviewed is so maddening. The government always spin this topic to blame the parents for not sending their children back. They always imply that there is a school space for children, and it’s the parents who have made the decision not to send them in.

And the interviewer is usually someone that has probably never done much childcare / homeschool and therefore doesn’t ask the right follow up questions. It’s always “what can you say to persuade parents to send their children back”.

There is absolutely no mention of kids desperate to go back, schools refusing point blank, and parents in professional roles who are sadly not able to bake krispie cakes at 11am as they are in a directors meeting on Teams.

There was more awareness of this at the beginning, in March. I can only assume that the kids of those parents have either returned to their private schools or have been mussled back in as keyworker children.

OP posts:
Gremlinpoop · 29/06/2020 13:49

It's so awful isn't it . My year 5 school loving child has become so demotivated and miserable. I have to get him to re do things then he also ( and I) get told off by his teacher for his poor handwriting. Weekly tears about getting in high quality work. My year 7 is sinking into depression I think. Working well at school work but no interaction with friends ( new to school and hadn't made proper friends yet). My year R is one happy back to school child.
I am sooo angry over this situation, I really feel the government threw our children ( and many mother's careers) under a bus with this one.

MarshaBradyo · 29/06/2020 13:54

It’s always “what can you say to persuade parents to send their children back”.

Argh I can’t listen this will annoy me.

Two dc y5 really missing school and y10 completely changes when back in, enjoys it.

Parker231 · 29/06/2020 13:56

@Lemons1571 - I totally agree. My DT’s are older (currently last term of Uni has been remote- not ideal) but have friends and colleagues with primary age children. They have done no school work. How can you persuade a seven year old to work without supervision. Many parents are both working full time from home without breaks for lunch let alone schooling time. One of my friends has said all her DC’s have learnt this term is how to spend 8 hours a day on their tablets, eat crisps for lunch and behave feral!

formerbabe · 29/06/2020 13:59

It’s always “what can you say to persuade parents to send their children back”

I know...I don't need persuading. I need the school to actually allow my DC in the building.

I do wonder what would happen if all parents stuck their kids in uniform and turned up on mass to the school gates.

GuiltyBark · 29/06/2020 14:02

lozster I'm going to do the same. Let's all get writing!

JaniceWebster · 29/06/2020 14:03

The big mistake was to discriminate between children. When all children were treated equally, parents could be just about understanding.

Now that schools have decided to give special treatment to some and ignore the others, it's no longer acceptable.

TokyoSushi · 29/06/2020 14:09

It’s always “what can you say to persuade parents to send their children back”

Yes! Exactly this, the schools are open the Government says, you should send your child back as it's safe to do so the Government says. But you've not got the right job, and anyway, you're doing so well at home the school says. It's only a few weeks now, not much point really, the school says. See you in September! Maybe! Good luck with that!

MarshaBradyo · 29/06/2020 14:13

GW on R4 this morning glowing about the numbers back.

It really doesn’t help those stuck at home.

Now Wales is back for all years iirc.

TokyoSushi · 29/06/2020 14:16

We've just received a letter from school about how they will be 'looking at capacity for a wider reopening in September 2020.' #FML

It is also very, very apologetic, 'we know how frustrated you all are' 'we want nothing more than to have your children in school' etc etc, so the penny must be dropping (or more likely they've been inundated with complaints) that people are furious that it's a totally unfair 'selection process.'

Thewordgame · 29/06/2020 14:21

It is discrimination isn’t it, so you can go back to school based on what job your parents do, how was that ever ok?! Everyone has to earn a living and it is clear from these posts that it is impossible to teach your child and work from home. All children should have been given a place part time, 2 days for one bubble and 2 for another with one day to clean in between. I really wonder WTF they were thinking when they decided the education of children in reception and year 1 was somehow more pressing than those in KS2. Pathetic and they didn’t even bother giving any reasons as to why these year groups. Real fuckers we have governing our country unfortunately.

MarshaBradyo · 29/06/2020 14:21

I have appreciated the language from our school, forward looking (open to all students) but realistic (waiting on detail). I know they were inundated recently as governors sent email saying write to your mp not us.

TokyoSushi · 29/06/2020 14:23

Real fuckers we have governing our country unfortunately.

Totally agree @Thewordgame

Lemons1571 · 29/06/2020 14:30

Real fuckers that have never had to simultaneously juggle their full time job with the full time education of their children. Most likely the women folk took care of that for them.

OP posts:
Autumnwalksx · 29/06/2020 14:31

My DD school only had spaces for half the reception kids in the end. My friend sent her son back but I kept mine off. The hours were rubbish.

9.40-2.30.

Friday's were 9.30-11.40

The schools a mile away. The schools also sharing pictures. The kids are one child per acitvitiy. So they are in bubbles and playing Alone. The kids are clearly happy to be fair. But I find it odd teaching a four/five year old about bubbles and then avoiding playing in close proximity within the bubble. Reception is all about learning to

Mix.
Share.
Be kind.
Work in groups.
Listen.
Make friends.
Learn together.
Have stories together.
Eat lunch together.
Play outside together.

Seems backwards halfway through the year to teach them the opposite.

They should have let all years go back two days a week. That way all kids got to see friends again and see the teachers.

Now it is just a confusing mess.

You've had key worker kids in since march.
Then in July other kids went back for the final term.

But other kids either couldn't have a place in those years or the parents have kept them home.

So you've got three different set ups. Some have been there the whole time. Some for the last term. Some won't set foot in a school for 5 months!

Then in September I bet they will expect them to suddenly get back into it full time. They will be exhausted. Run down. The parents will also struggle. The teachers must be muddled. Kids places, needing different things from them.

Like I said in my last post. I have spent about £20 on pens and pencils. £15 on paper and notebooks. £15 on learning workbooks. My partner's had to get a laptop from his work from her work that use. I've send £25 on craft things. £8 on pritsticks. £20 on toucna boxes. £20 on some more reading books. Then she's never used her summer uniform (nobody elses problem to be fair) plus she now has an extra meal at home and snacks. We can afford the food. But my partner is on reduced pay and we have got to stop buying extra bits for her to learn with. The school send the work on a pdf. So we have to print out 20 sheets a week. Luckily we have a printer. But many don't!

I do appreciate the teachers. They are doing all they can. But I can't even clean my bathroom today because the kids can't be left alone for five minutes today! So nope I haven't go time to make a rockpool. Also my kids had many chances to use paint. She ends I filthy or wrecking the carpet or wall. So no more paint! But the school keep suggesting wonderful things we can make and paint. We don't have time or money! But other kids will have mums that have the time. So their kids will be getting a better start than others. Usually at school they get equal opportunities with things like this.

Sorry I've gone of subject. I reached my limit the other day. I've had enough! X

Thisisworsethananticpated · 29/06/2020 14:56

I’m aligned

The initial key worker measure was completely fair

But now , it needs majorly addressing

I’m sending mine away till the end of August so am luckier than many others

Saying the system is a mess isn’t teacher bashing

It’s govt bashing

Thisisworsethananticpated · 29/06/2020 14:58

Gremlinpoop

I know ! I have a rather lonely
Little year 7 too , really hard to be inbetween friendship groups