I'm adopted and recently found out that I am one quarter Sámi

[KolyaReindeer]

Name changed because I would never hurt my parents but what do I do with this information?

I am living proof that nature outweighs nurture as I have always had very specific interests that my parents and big sister did not share - mostly large animal/snow related. Bizarre but genuinely true!

Apparently when I was born I had blue black hair and I have very dark brown eyes and a very rare Rh Neg blood group too. Until I did a DNA test I just thought that these things happened randomly but I googled pics of Sámi people and one of them looked more like my sister than my sister does!

As above, what do I do with this info, how do I process it? I love my Mum and Dad and my Sister but I cannot help but think that my 'heritage' needs acknowledging as well.

Also all those having a go at op because of how they feel about snow... leave off. They're making connections to their past. The main point of the post was whether they should look more into it and how to approach with adopted parents.

" I love my Mum and Dad and my Sister but I cannot help but think that my 'heritage' needs acknowledging as well."

So your parents know & said nothing?

@kolyareindeer just ignore the mockers! I get what you are saying, and I understood what you meant about nature/nurture. It isn't the most important thing, but for me it was like putting the final piece in a jigsaw, it just felt like it made sense. There is also the theory of genetic memory which can help explain your feelings. Many people feel connections with their roots, all over the world - a deep love of things which their ancestors have experienced over generations. Most people do not feel completely disconnected from their ancestor's experiences.

To the mockers, I am guessing you didn't grow up in a family where you shared absolutely nothing in terms of genetics with anyone else in your house.

I am guessing you didn't grow up in a family where you shared absolutely nothing in terms of genetics with anyone else in your house.

Eh? Sounds like the other 75% of OP is the same as her adoptive parents (in terms of race). Only OP can confirm though.

Someone else put it better when they compared it to people claiming certain personality traits or preferences are down to their star sign it is feck all to do with star signs though - there is currently scientific research being done into genetic memory which does affect personality traits.

Eh? Sounds like the other 75% of OP is the same as her adoptive parents (in terms of race). Only OP can confirm though genetics not race.

OP please can I suggest you post again (I would post again, not get this moved) in Relationships? I think you would get more reasonable and interested responses than you have in AIBU.

I'm sorry OP, I didn't answer the question either.
Yes your heritage does need acknowledging, but not necessarily by your parents.
Maybe keep it to your own immediate family and tell your children/ grandchildren about everything you are learning.
Explore how much you want this to become a part of your identity, and belonging.

I would say "saami" with a long "a" sound (like the name Sam but make the "a" a bit longer). There will be regional variations, so I could see saymi could work, never heard anyone put an "r" in there. The area that the Sami live in is called "Sápmi". Maybe that is where the idea about the extra letter in the middle is coming in? But it is pronounced more like a "p" than an "r".

Gulabjamoon

Yes, I am referring to Holocaust, genocide, oppression, forced sterilisation, starting about 1,500 years ago and still happening now. Do you know the last forced sterilisation for Roma people in Syria was 2004, that's just one example. Roma have to be strong like many other races.
HTH.

No I don't think any race is stronger, bloody hell read the posts and don't make your own stuff up . I never mentioned black people, I'm Romany BAME. my point was I'm not very strong by nature, my dh noticed that I am strong when the shit hits the pan, where some others may fall apart.

He thinks it's genetic and pointed it out to me, disagree if you want to, I don't care. Not sure I believed him anyway, just thought it worthy of the discussion.

@Devlesko

Regardless of what ethnic minority you are (and I am one too), you don't get to say strength/resilience is more 'more prevalent in some races' due to genetics. HTH.

In regards to the rh negative jab when pregnant, you do now get one at 28 weeks pregnant then after birth if baby ia positive. Both my children were negative like me so in theory i didnt need the 28 week jab either time. Better safe than sorry though. My children are 3 and 7 months

@sotiredofthislonelylife

The new system of administering prophylactic anti-D is much safer than the old system though.

The new system involves either testing the babies blood group before birth and administering accordingly at 28 weeks and at delivery (anti-D prophylaxis is only required if the baby is RhD positive). Or, if in a region where this test isnt offered, prophylaxis is given by default at 28 weeks and then additionally at birth if the baby is tested to be RhD positive at delivery.

This is safer than the old system of "everyone gets it even if you dont need it" because anti-D is a human blood product and carries a very very small risk of bad reactions in the recipient or transmission of blood borne diseases. It is irresponsible to give any blood product to a patient who doesn't actually need it in the first place.

Also, no matter what method of anti-D prophylaxis a trust uses there is ALWAYS a small risk that it wont work. Additionally, there are many other antibodies out there to other blood groups that can cause HDFN in babies too, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to prevent that happening. Are you sure your grandchild suffered HDFN due to anti-D and not another antibody? Given they only needed transfusions at birth it would be unlikely to be anti-D related as the HDFN from anti-D is usually severe and requires intrauterine transfusions or full blood volume exchanges at birth. Other antibodies causing HDFN the babies are usually fine with a top up transfusion at birth unless the maternal titre is very very high.

The current system is safer for the mother and less wasteful, its not been changed just for fun

The Op said she is in her 50s so anti-D prophylaxis isn't really relevant to her.

Sonjadog, how do you pronounce Sami? A PP refererd to Saami, which is the way it's pronounced on the BBC (Saarmi), but my Finnish contact (half Sami) called herself Saymi and told me Saarmi is wrong. Is it pronounced differently in different areas?

Saami is not like saarmi, there's no R, its just a long a, like bath in some parts of the UK. Never heard it said Saymi.

Perhaps it's pronounced Saymi in Finnish?

Not in Finnish, I'm in Finland and its pronounced Saami here

I have never heard "Saymi" either, I would have to say. But there are some weird dialects out there, so who knows?!

There are some weird dialects but saymi seems a bit too out there for any of them.

I don't know a great deal about any of this but when we visited the museum in Tromsø, the guide did a talk and pronounced it Saami. It was a very interesting trip. I hope you manage to find out about your heritage

How exciting OP. I’m also adopted and went in search of my birth family 3 years ago. Unfortunately traditional methods failed me but I managed to find my birth family through AncestryDNA and lots of research, and there are some incredible coincidences. It would be great if you could prove your heritage through building your family tree via your DNA matches and their trees - much easier to do in Ancestry than 23&me (I’ve done both).

@KolyaReindeer whatever you do don't give up the search. I am not sure whom you have had your DNA done with. I has mine done last year. It didnt show up anything I didn't know by that stage, accept 100s of third plus cousins.

Mine was through ancestory.com. Apparently different DNA testing can throw up other unexpected results as they all have their own way of testing

I say don't give up the search because I know from my own story "there is no peace, until you know peace and know your history"

I have a story which is extreme, like out of a historical novel covering 4/5 generations. I know far too much about it too. No I'm not of royal blood either 😏

My childhood was covered in secrets, lies, was strange and disturbing. To cut a very long story very short I found out at the age of 36 i had two half brothers i didn't know i had.

Yes though they are alot older than me I have a great relationship with them. However the complexities of it all, left years of specialised therapy to find peace.

My half brothers are my late fathers who died when I was 18.

I always knew something wasnt right with my childhood. Its called "Family Secrets - What you dont know can hurt you"

Our story is different but has similarities. I had to go on the hunt for many years to find peace and to beable to put the jigsaw pieces into place properly.

Do what you need to do and good luck

I've visited Sámi Country in Northern Norway and Finnish Lapland. It's beautiful and the heritage and ways of life for the Sámi are so interesting. I would definitely recommend perhaps visiting on holiday if you could. (once covid is over obvs) the Siida Sámi museum in Inari, Finland and nationa Sámi museum in Karasjok, Norway
I have felt most at peace in my life in the Norwegian fjords and watching the stars and northern lights under a clear sky on frozen lake Inari in Lapland. If you can connect yourself with that land I think you will find a special connection that you never felt before

Well, the woman who told me about her Sami heritage was a professor at Kajaani University and she twice corrected me on my pronunciation and insisted it was Saymi — and none of the Finnish colleagues who were standing beside her (or sitting eating at the table on the second occasion) questioned this or even raised an eyebrow.

Perhaps it was the Finnish sense of humour. I hope it wasn't a wind-up. I really loved my time there and the people I met and I've been very carefully saying Saymi ever since.

I have an eastern European grandparent. My mum did a 23 and me test and they were able to identify the exact region of the eastern European country where my grandparent was from. In contrast, I did an ancestry test which came back as 20% Eastern European/ Russian, so a lot more vague (admittedly I have a less strong genetic link). My point being was that I was impressed by 23 and me's accuracy, so the Sami connection may well be correct.