7 year olds and a mobile phone...

[PunkyPirate]

My dd is 7. She's fairly innocent for her age, well, I feel she is compared to some of her peers, I worry she'll be left behind her social group. More so since lockdown and she is being shielded so hasn't had any interaction with other children.

She's had an amazing imagination and will make a game out of anything, she lives her Barbies, dolls and small world play.

A school friend of hers came to the front gate this morning. We stood on the door step and was so excited to see them.

They are taller than her and just seemed so much more grown up than she is. They were going on about their mobile phone and Xbox games, neither of these things my dd has shown an interest in, and personally I feel 7 is too young for a mobile phone.

But now I'm worrying I am burying in my head in the sand and babying my dd. I don't want her to be the the only child who doesn't have a phone or take part in these games.

AIBU to think a 7 year shouldn't have a phone? Am I worrying about nothing?

I suppose I should add DS 9 also has a tablet, plays the odd game on it but doesn't use it much for communication.

best thing you can give your children at that age is time and space to explore the world on their own terms

How do you explore the world with a potentially lethal virus going around?

Yanbu. Very little kids like yours don't need phones. I would say end yr6 / yr7 is more common here

Dd is 10, has had her own tablet since 5 or 6 after her kindy had iPads at 4
A smart watch since Christmas
A Wii and WiiU and now we looking at a switch, tv in her room
We very lax with tech
She still plays with toys, has an imagination, reads books, plays outside
She also has suck a gamer knack, talks to friends from school through games, draws characters based on ones in games, is now looking into coding.

My son is 9 and he is on the spectrum. He has a phone without a SIM card to take photos and videos. He likes to do videos of everywhere he goes. It was taking up too much memory on my phone plus I didn’t want him dropping or losing my more expensive phone so we bought him his own last year when he was 8. It’s a second hand iPhone SE. Suits him wall to do videos, play games and he’s been face timing family using so-fi during lockdown. Not any different to an iPad in this situation but a phone is easier to carry around. He takes videos everywhere we go.

A 7 year old doesn’t need a phone to make calls and texts etc but nothing wrong with one for realms similar to what I’ve explained.

My DD is 8 she had her first mobile at 7 so when she goes to her dads at the weekend she can talk to me, text me tell me about her day and what she’s been doing. It didn’t last long though because she started texting me from upstairs to bring her a drink up. Anyway... my DD has her own laptop, her own games console and can still go out and play. It’s called balance there doesn’t need to be if you do one you can’t then do the other.

My DS is 12 now, nearly 13. He had his first phone when he started in y7, so I think about aged 10? Can't really remember. He did however have an iPad mini before this, and various other consoles/games over the years, I think his first one was probably aged 6/7 and was a Nintendo wii. But they were always in the living room and has only had a console in his room for about the last 2/3 years.

best thing you can give your children at that age is time and space to explore the world on their own terms

The world is now filled with technology, that's part of the world and they have access to all sorts of information to enable them to explore the world in a way we never could. But most importantly at this time when they are isolated they can keep in touch with their friends. It's all about balance

Oh forgot to say that my 8yo spends every waking moment on her phone. She doesn't play in the garden, or in the paddling pool, or read books or do me a million drawings per day or make up elaborate worlds for her beloved dolls (and try to involve me), or bake endless wonky fairy cakes or help me with decorating the bedroom this week or go out on her bike or play with the cats or pester her older sister or...

Because she has a screen to talk to her friends at the moment.

I didn't mean to come across as if I was being judgemental of other people's parenting choices.
Just more I was worrying about my dd being left behind as she does sometimes seem very young compared to her peers.

I wouldn't worry about her seeming young. But I would worry about her lack of contact with the outside world that really can't be good for development or mental health.

I'd stick by my initial post, find out how her friends are communicating and get her involved.

Different kids seem to be doing different things, my DSs friends have mainly been vis Xbox, neighbours girls via Zoom, others might be using Houseparty.

And like most other folk I'd never heard of Zoom or Houseparty before lockdown. So many kids and parents will have learned about these things purely because they had to.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Your 9 year old is out of an evening without you? Are you in the UK? Our local primary school does not allow children to walk to/from school without an adult until year 6 (age 10/11).

My niece is 10 and attends a naice primary. None of her friends have phones, most parents avoid giving children their own tablets and only allow some limited use of a parents device.

Yes, in the summer she is. It’s daylight here until 10pm, and she is allowed out until 8. She is either at a friends, or on her bike or at the park. We also live in a lovely development, in a lovely town. All the parents round here know each other and all the children. We don’t live near a main road or anything. We are in Scotland, my children’s school encourages independence and they are ‘allowed’ to come and leave school without an adult present from P4 so approx age 9.

That is insane.

I am so glad I was a child before phones, got my first one at about 13/14. So sad that kids playing normal games are seen as 'babyish' now.

Catsfacecats who's supervising ensuring your DD is keeping to the 2m rule with her friends?

@Blackbear19

Catsfacecats who's supervising ensuring your DD is keeping to the 2m rule with her friends?

She isn’t out in the evenings just now obviously.

Sorry, meant she isn’t “out with friends” at all just now.

Starrynight nobody said playing normal games was babyish or seen as babyish.

Children really would much rather be running around with their friends than communicating via xbox, zoom, phone or whatever.

People keep coming on these threads comparing children here and now to those hundreds of days ago. Yes I did mean to write days.
The UK is a different place to it was in February.

neither of these things my dd has shown an interest in,

She doesn't need a phone or an XBox, and if she has no interest, that's fine. Don't get her one. One day she might show an interest.

At some point she'll probably want or need access to some sort of device. Pre-lockdown, DS5 and DS8 were getting asked to do phonics + maths via some school-approved apps, and it was getting a pain to keep letting them use our phones. So we got them Amazon Fires, which work well : you can control want apps they have access to. DS8 now pays Minecraft on his, and DS5 watches BBC iplayer kids and plays other age-appropriate games.

At some point we'll have the address the phone question, but definitely not for a few years.

I have 2 dd ages 9 and 11 they have had phones for a while ( younger one no sim) they don't use them 24/7 and yes they do enjoy using them especially at the moment to speak to their friends. We can't change the fact technology is their future. My youngest has a good imagination and loves playing she uses her phone to watch YouTube lego Vids for ideas building lego...her builds are seriousness amazing! Also ideas to paint and add clay bits and transform duplicate LOL dolls, maybe your dd would use a phone for this too. She also has maths apps which help her with her times tables, I wish I had when I was a child! I think if you don't think it's the right time and she has no interest don't get one but they aren't all bad you are her mum and know what's best for her!

I have my 7yo DD a phone just for FaceTiming grandparents and they live quite far away. I soon had it back after she rang the police accidentally 😩. They just don’t understand at that age and it’s been a lesson learned for us that’s for sure