5 year old unsupervised

[RoLaren]

More of a WWYD? but posting for traffic.

5 year old boy from 4 doors up keeps getting out of his house/garden, running down to us to shouting at the gate to my 5 year old to come and play. It's happening at different times of the day including after 9pm. Sometimes dressed, sometimes only in pants, shoeless, sometimes carrying his tea.

They have played together in the past and I know he has some ASD-type tendencies including impulsively running across the road.

My husband usually walks him safely home when he turns up alone and the parents always smile and thank us but don't seem to see it as a problem.

I'm terrified that he'll be abducted or hit by a car. This evening I'm on my own and could only shout at him to go home because I can't leave my three unattended to see him home.

What should I do? Talk to parents again, police, NSPCC, SS?

This is not ok and is neglect whatever their reasons are, if he’s sneaking out so many times and so late why arnt they locking the door and if it’s one the child can still open a little bolt up high jobs done, if they are allowing him out by himself especially late at night and not even checking on him then they need to be made aware it’s neglect, I’d talk to the parents, make a point of saying when he’s coming round after half 7 your DC are in bed and he’s waking them all up, and sometimes he’s disturbing you all when your having dinner and your DH’s walking him back during meal times and that as your both worried with the roads and it’s causing a big inconvenience to your family nearly every time he comes round, and could he not knock anymore and give the parents your number for them to be able to see if your DC could come out instead of knocking, I’d also ask them for a contact number so if he does turn up at yours again you can ring them to let them he’s outside yours, their response should give you a good idea whether they know he his knocking yours or if they are totally unaware and he’s been sneaking out, I’d see what their response is to all this and if it’s worrying one or they still give you nothing to understand the situation abit better or the child still keeps coming to yours alone after your conversation I’d contact SS for them to see what’s going on

My 6 year old nephew is allowed to go and call for his friends in the village on his own, but not late at night, and it's always with the knowledge and permission of his parents. I wouldn't let my kid do it. His parents seem to think that their small village is immune to any risk and they also let him cycle without a helmet but that's another story.

I guess the parents in this case probably don't think much harm will come which is why they are apparently so relaxed about it. They might be right I guess?

Shoeless wouldn’t concern me. My 4 year old often plays in the garden without her shoes on, her choice.
I’m the strict parent of the street in our small quiet town, as I won’t let her play out without me. Lots of children from about 4 play out with the other children in the street here. However, going out at 9pm would concern me! No children do that here. Talk to the parents.

"if it’s one the child can still open a little bolt up high jobs done"

You don't realise how expert an escape artist some children can be. My niece was getting past that sort of arrangement when she was 2 and combination padlocks with the key kept on your person were needed when she was 5. The concerning thing is that they don't seem bothered that he is wandering about outside.

@Sockwomble

A child escaping once is forgivable - you don’t know they can and your back was turned. Any more than that and you haven’t taken appropriate steps to create a safe living environment - sounds like your niece’s parents did that very quickly!

Jeez, shocked at the number of people on this thread urging OP to 'report them' or 'call social services' as first step rather than talk to the parents. sad

Why? The child has already been returned numerous times late at night. They must know he escapes. They clearly haven’t addressed the issue. For most parents it would only happen once. You would certainly notice they escaped with their dinner!

You report so the child receives help. Or you stay quiet and let the child suffer.

All the children on my street from age 3 to 11, play out every day and evenings until it gets dark, going in for tea and lunch. It used to be very normal in this country. Now it happens in some areas.
I think its a good thing.

This is shocking op in my opinion. Thankfully mine have never attempted to escape but I do know that it happens - caring parents then put measures in place to stop it from happening again.
The fact this is time and time again is what makes it so bad, presumably if something happened to the poor boy they wouldn't even have a clue what time he left at.
I know people are convinced that their area is nice and nothing would happen but it's other aspects such a road safety too. My 5 year old understands the concept of looking left and right, when there's no cars etc but at night near country lanes where people typically speed I wouldn't be confident in her ability yet.
I would go to SS now, they've had a chance to sort the situation out when you've returned him x number of times.

@Ireolu

Speak to the parents and get an idea of why he is managing to get out to you. Give it a specific amount of time if no improvement call nspcc as they may need support. I personally wouldn't rush to report without as much information as possible.

It isn't anyone else's place to assess the situation or judge any improvement. The important factor is the child's welfare, not any concern that the parent might be upset at being reported. If there are no concerns then SS will close the case and that will be the end of it.