AIBU?
To expect my mother to clear up just a little after she cooks kids tea?
Carotte · 25/09/2007 18:12
I know she was helping, but I have mastitis, a temperature and the shivers. She popped in for coffee and I asked if she could please make them beans on toast as DH is away and I am in pain on the sofa.
After umming and aaaghing and a couple of phone calls to delay drinks plans she cooked this for them, but then had to race off.
She patted me on the head and said she had to go now, sorry for not clearing up and I said that was fine I'd load the dishwasher later.
It's a total f*ing pigsty out there, food all over the floor, spilled on the table, pans piled up on the hob. I know she was doing me a favour but I wouldn't have made that much mess making beans on toast.
She went off feeling pleased with herself, and I could cry looking at the mess. DS1 has offered to help.
dramaqueen · 25/09/2007 18:16
Sorry but I think you are out of order. I understand you are ill, but if she had not pooped in you would have had to the kid's dinner and tidy up afterwards anyway. At least she took one thing off your list! Just be grateful for what help you have. Some people get no help at all from family.
Wisteria · 25/09/2007 18:24
Sorry - you're all being a bit heartless IMO. I suppose expect is a little extreme but upset because she didn't (which is what I think she meant really) seems fair enough to me.
The lady has mastitis and it was her Mum, the majority of mothers would have helped a little more than that, would you not?!!
If she had something important to do then fair enough I would agree - but it was drinks plans she was running off to and I agree most people don't have family near (I didn't either), but she is not unreasonable feeling the way she does.
I remember having mastitis and it is bloody hard, wouldn't have taken her 5 minutes to sort it out.
DaisyMOO · 25/09/2007 18:28
I'm struggling to believe that anyone feeling unwell would walk into their kitchen to find it a mess, and not be a little bit annoyed. It's true that lots of people have no help and that she did think she was doing the OP a favour, but from the sounds of it she's made more work than she's actually saved!
daisyandbabybootoo · 25/09/2007 18:59
sympathy on the mastitis Carotte...I had that last weekend and it was no fun at all. My DH was on the receiving end of my bad mood as a result of it.
So, maybe you're being a tad sensitive, but it would have been nice if she'd done the washing up for you as well
nightowl · 25/09/2007 19:21
not unreasonable. i am one who gets little help unless i beg, then i get the umming and ahhhing. my mum would make a HUGE deal if i ever asked her to help when i was feeling ill (which i dont).
just this morning she had a major rant at me because i flippantly asked her to knock some crumbs off dd's trousers as we walked into nursery. me: "ooh can you just knock those off mum?" her: "why cant YOU do it?" me, shocked "well, because im loaded up with several bags...erm...i just thought it would be quicker than putting them all down". her: "tut tut..well she was facing YOU". me: mumble..."sorry"...kicks at floor.
the mess wouldn't be the issue for me. it would be more that her rushing off and leaving it would make me feel crap for asking, like it was majorly disrupting her life. she always makes me feel like that. could that be more why you're upset?
xXxamyxXx · 25/09/2007 19:36
poor you hope you feel better know how you feel i would never even ask my mother for her help{it would never be offered}as she makes you feel like you have asked her to donate you her kidney!made a song and dance of me asking could she possibly mind my well behaved ds{2} for a few hours whatever day suited so me and dh could paint living room and kitchen
Carotte · 25/09/2007 19:43
Tori - it has been a couple of months since the last popping in! She has been away at festivals all summer (which is fine of course). DCs were pleased to see her.
MP - I don't know how there was so much mess either. She did scrambled egg as well and it looks like she burnt the butter in the first one, so there was that and the new one and the bean one and her hot chocolate one, spillages...
Oh it's boring, I know. I am going to bed after a bath and really hope it's improved by tomorrow. Thanks for well wishes.
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