Mix up with purchase

[Freshfaced]

I was looking on some selling sites for a specific item. A friend of mine knew I was looking and said that her neighbour was selling one. My exact words in a text were "I can't spend more than £50". She spoke to her neighbour, who said that was fine.

I saw some pictures, it looked great, I went to collect it. On arrival the woman I'd been texting wasn't there but her husband helped me get it into the car. It's really nice, in great condition, objectively worth more than £50. Being honest stupid I said that. He assured me that it wasn't that great, they'd been trying to get rid for ages and I was welcome to it. I tried to offer the £50 as agreed but he said no need. I insisted, then he said why didn't I just make a donation to a lovely local charity in their name instead.

I did so (£50) and sent him a screenshot of the donation and a text thanking him. Got a nice message back. All good...
....until this morning. Woke to an angry text from the woman accusing me of taking advantage of her husband! Apparently he's "old school" won't accept cash for things (wtf?) and she's cross. I explained that I tried to pay and she was slightly mollified but then asked me to transfer £50! I explained about the charity donation in their name as requested and she basically shrugged, said it wasn't her problem and I'd agreed to pay her £50 which she wanted.

I sent screenshots of the conversation with her husband plus the charity donation. She's not budging- wants £50 or her item back. But- I've spent my budget on the donation and would then be £50 down, with no item all because her husband is daft.

So I've said no. My friend who introduced her understands but says it's really awkward as they live next door.

AIBU to tell her to get lost and keep my item? In fairness I can afford to but it's also worth noting they are considerably richer than me!

YANBU!

If the husband insisted you donate to charity then her issue is with her husband.

No - keep saying no.
'As per the agreement on collection of said item, I have transferred £50 to the charity of your DH choice and here is the proof. Speak with your DH regarding this.'
Keep sending the same response over and over and over again.
Until she gives up!
She has a cheek.
It's hardly your fault her DH is 'old school'. How the hell would you know that?
You did as you were asked with the payment and the payment was made as per a verbal agreement.
She can fuck off.

I know her husband is daft but she seems to think I should have realised this and insisted! He seemed perfectly ordinary..

Very odd. But if anyone owes her £50, it’s her DH, not you! She left her DH to deal with the sale, and if he hasn’t done what she wanted, then that is between them. I think she’s got a real cheek asking you for another £50 or the item back. It’s a shame for your friend, but her neighbour is out of line here, not you.

Although he was wearing a hat. Not a cap- a special straw hat like umpires wear. Perhaps that should have clued me in.

If she wants the money back she needs to get it off her husband as he agreed the terms of the sale as her representative. Keep all of the evidence, just in case, but unless it was obvious he wasn't capable of making the decision she can't take it any further, neither should you feel you have to pay twice.

Don't give the money and don't give the item back. It's yours. Block her.

Tough. She needs to talk to her husband. Don’t engage anymore

Absolutely no way would I give her the money. You’ve met the terms of the agreement with her husband.

There is literally nothing she can do, so you dont need to worry about any repercussions (unless you think she'll turn up with a bat!).

You've got written proof between you and her husband about what was agreed, and proof you carried out the agreement. It's done.

Keep repeating "your husband changed the payment terms despite my protests, and I followed through on the new agreement as evidenced by our texts. Your issue is with your husband".

Just keep sending it. Dont say anything else.

I do feel guilty. I've got a nice thing that's worth more than £50 plus the happy feeling of donating to a nice charity and she's got nothing. My agreement was with her and she's saying I should have texted her before donating. In fairness that would have been the smart thing to do...

I wouldn't pay. She needs to sort it with her DH

Tough shit. She wasn’t there and you did what was agreed at the time. She needs to take this up with her husband, not you.

If I knew someone was coming to pick something up and I was going to get £50 off them but that my husband was likely to rebutt the £50 I'd have done 2 things......

1. arrange a time with the buyer that I would be there to handle the transaction

2. is the above wasn't possible then I'd let the buyer know.... "my husband feels awkward accepting cash, can I ask you to leave it with your friend and I'll get it off them later" or "here are my PayPal details to send as F&F once you pick it up" or "my husband feels awkward accepting cash but I really want the cash.... Please make sure you make him take it and I'll tell him the same"

The fault is hers!

But you say you did insist by offering the money to her DH at least twice. If he refused to accept then that's their problem.

She knew her DH was 'old school' so should have been there to hand over the item herself, or instructed her DH better.

If she keeps on, then respond to her, copying in her DH, and say you've been put in a very awkward position because of their conflicting approaches and you followed the instructions on the day, having offered the payment at least twice and been refused. You will not be offering further payment or return of the item and you politely suggest they should agree between themselves what payment approach they will adopt should they consider selling more items in future.

YANBU. if she didn't trust her husband with ot, she should have arranged fornpick up when she was hom. I get you feel slightly off about it, but iou really didn't do anything wrong.

You did nothing wrong.
This is between this lady and her husband.
I would send her a final text saying that you carried out the wishes of her husband when you collected the goods as arranged and you will not be entering into further conversations about the matter.
I would then block her number and move on.

Don’t return the item and don’t give her any money.

Your “contract” was with the dh. You did as he asked. She is pushing her luck and being a CF

YANBU! My god, don't give the cheeky besom another penny.

YANBU - it’s her husband she needs to be annoyed at, not you! I would just block her number and move on.

Anyone else confused about the hat?

How weird on their part. How did he not know his wife was expecting money for it? Why wasn't she in? Was he expecting you or did you just turn up and say "I'm here for the wardrobe" and he just put it in your car?

At the end of the day, you offered the money and he gave it to charity. She needs to argue with her husband over it. Block her number and move on.

She needs to fuck right off. Block the crazy fucker.

She's bat shit crazy I'd be telling her to jog on and as others have said take it up with her DH and if she were that worried about him not taking money off you she should have been there when you picked up the item.
Part of me is a cynic and wonders if she's just trying it on some people are beyond.
Don't give her the money you already made a donation as requested.