Mix up with purchase

[Freshfaced]

I was looking on some selling sites for a specific item. A friend of mine knew I was looking and said that her neighbour was selling one. My exact words in a text were "I can't spend more than £50". She spoke to her neighbour, who said that was fine.

I saw some pictures, it looked great, I went to collect it. On arrival the woman I'd been texting wasn't there but her husband helped me get it into the car. It's really nice, in great condition, objectively worth more than £50. Being honest stupid I said that. He assured me that it wasn't that great, they'd been trying to get rid for ages and I was welcome to it. I tried to offer the £50 as agreed but he said no need. I insisted, then he said why didn't I just make a donation to a lovely local charity in their name instead.

I did so (£50) and sent him a screenshot of the donation and a text thanking him. Got a nice message back. All good...
....until this morning. Woke to an angry text from the woman accusing me of taking advantage of her husband! Apparently he's "old school" won't accept cash for things (wtf?) and she's cross. I explained that I tried to pay and she was slightly mollified but then asked me to transfer £50! I explained about the charity donation in their name as requested and she basically shrugged, said it wasn't her problem and I'd agreed to pay her £50 which she wanted.

I sent screenshots of the conversation with her husband plus the charity donation. She's not budging- wants £50 or her item back. But- I've spent my budget on the donation and would then be £50 down, with no item all because her husband is daft.

So I've said no. My friend who introduced her understands but says it's really awkward as they live next door.

AIBU to tell her to get lost and keep my item? In fairness I can afford to but it's also worth noting they are considerably richer than me!

If you agreed to pay her and someone else told you not to pay then you really should of checked first

You paid her husband who is a grown adult and perfectly capable presumably. It would have been different if you'd collected from a teenager who had no idea - but it wasn't!

Her arguement is with her husband.

If the husband is so hapless she should have been there to supervise. How on earth were you meant to know (other than the hat) that he wasn’t a competent adult?

I'd point out that if she knew her husband would be old school enough not to accept cash then she should have been there/arranged a time to suit her schedule.

Then ignore.

Ok. I've texted both of them being clear I followed the instructions I was given on the day and they wouldn't be getting the cash or the item.

Awkward text back from husband who seemed to know nothing about this and it's all gone quiet....

You did nothing wrong unless it was clear that the husband had dementia or a learning disability...

Oh. I guess that lady is having a bit of a telling off now.
She harassed you for money, which you already paid according to instructions given on collection and she hasn't actually mentioned to her husband that she is hounding you for payment. He must be quite embarrassed by her.

Honestly I would block her and carry on with your life!

Woke to an angry text from the woman accusing me of taking advantage of her husband! Apparently he's "old school" won't accept cash for things (wtf?) and she's cross.

It's a martial dispute. Tell her that and ignore any further correspondence

Ive never heard that not accepting cash is 'old school'. More liek the husband wanted to be the big 'I am' and wanted to look benevolent asking for the money to go to charity.

YANBU. This is really weird

This is the strangest situation. Her husband made this 'mistake'. You offered to pay, he said to donate the money to charity instead. You did as he said. The story should end there. If she wants £50, she needs to get the money from her husband. If she can't trust him to do the right thing then she should have been there when you collected the item.

They are the ones being awkward, not you.

She has a DP partner, not a "you" problem.

Ignore her from here on out.

Problem. Not partner

Bollocks to that. Sent them both the screen shots, then block them both.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers, she's chancing her arm.

If she's saying you should have know he was like this, well she would have obviously of known too, and been around for the transaction if she knew it was a risk.

Good for you standing your ground. She's angry at herself.

@Oldraver

Ive never heard that not accepting cash is 'old school'. More liek the husband wanted to be the big 'I am' and wanted to look benevolent asking for the money to go to charity.

This is so true. He did seem to enjoy being benevolent.

@Freshfaced

Although he was wearing a hat. Not a cap- a special straw hat like umpires wear. Perhaps that should have clued me in.

Wtf? What should a Panama hat have told you?

I think you are being insulting calling her dh 'daft'.If you mean you knew he had learning difficulties or a mental health illness then yes you could have taken advantage and should reconsider or offer half.