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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guns, AIBU?

73 replies

ToffeePennie · 25/06/2020 01:19

My husband has now got a new obsession - guns. Small, ladies air rifles etc and he has applied for the correct licence for another type of gun.
I have always hated them. I grew up around them and really dislike them.
He seems to think it’s no big deal if he were to keep one in the attic. He claims not to know about my extreme revulsion of them.
We have had a row about them this evening and he has made it plain he plans to carry on and bring them into our home.
He even used our sons’ interest in the scouting movement to try and “win” the argument (which is ridiculous - the scouts do not routinely go shooting as far as I am aware, nor is that even a valid argument as I would want to keep my children away from guns).
I am going to speak to him again in the morning, but this really feels like a make or break issue for me!
So am I crazy? Are guns perfectly normal (for none farmers)?

OP posts:
Giggorata · 25/06/2020 12:42

@eurochick

You don't want to share your reasons and that's fine but your reaction is unusually strong.

Gun ownership is highly regulated in this country, and rightly so. I target shoot and hold a firearms licence. The police have the right to come and inspect my home and how the guns are stored as a condition of that licence. The guns have to be kept in a safe (which as a previous poster has indicated, the police will check cannot be removed- by hanging off it or similar). Ammunition has to be stored in a separate locked safe.

I find it a great sport - outdoors, requires a lot of discipline and concentration. There are always school groups competing and training at Bisley (the National Shooting Centre), where I shoot.

As above. we've got guns, we shoot, we're not psychopathic and we're very responsible with them. I find there's usually a town and country divide, and often a political left/right divide about gun ownership.(I know there are exceptions, before loads of folk pile in)
Newjez · 25/06/2020 12:47

My sons scouts often had target shooting evenings.

One of the father's was an armed response officer and he ran things. Very well organized and they taught complete respect for the weapon.

My son showed some talent, and we looked into joining a shooting club, but he wasn't that interested.

I like to shoot myself, but not enough to go through the hassle of owning a gun.

user8558 · 25/06/2020 12:49

What about a fishing rod?

That's designed to end life

StoorieHoose · 25/06/2020 12:51

I was replying to this post

"It's unfortunate that Britain is so unenlightened when it comes to gun ownership. The US model might be taking things too far, but I don't see any harm in citizens with the appropriate training and licence in owning a handgun, shotgun or rifle. You only have to look at the terrorist attacks (people on MI5's radar would be barred from owning one) - if the Islamist lunatic runs round trying to stab people, I'd rather someone on the scene had a firearm to put a stop to them. Lives matter."

Like I said there is a very good reason why UK gun laws are in place and I for one and glad of it

StoorieHoose · 25/06/2020 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TabbyMumz · 25/06/2020 12:53

Army cadets do shooting too, they have countrywide shooting competitions.

FizzFan · 25/06/2020 12:55

There’s no way on this earth that someone would have firearms or associated paraphernalia in my home.

FizzFan · 25/06/2020 12:56

I have no issue with things like guns for sport, jobs etc. I just wouldn’t want one in my house. It would need to be kept elsewhere.

TabbyMumz · 25/06/2020 12:57

"so it really is beyond my understanding why you would use those as an example of why we should have lighter restrictions on access to guns"

I didnt Confused

FizzFan · 25/06/2020 13:02

if the Islamist lunatic runs round trying to stab people, I'd rather someone on the scene had a firearm to put a stop to them. Lives matter.

Yeah, I mean you’re always hearing of mass shootings in the US being brought to an end by a good guy with a gun.

Paska · 25/06/2020 14:44

if the Islamist lunatic runs round trying to stab people, I'd rather someone on the scene had a firearm to put a stop to them. Lives matter.

And the lunatic stabbing people becomes the lunatic shooting people.

Elsewyre · 25/06/2020 14:58

@ToffeePennie

Supposedly he wouldn’t need a licence for The gun he already owns (as it’s an air rifle?). I’m ignoring all the legalities of it currently because I feel sick. He says he wants it for sport, but he knows my past, he knows what I have seen and how I feel about them. I honestly think people who shoot for fun are mentally ill/disturbed in some way. Farmers and armed forces only, for me. There is literally no point in him going and shooting at targets/clay pigeons etc. And I refuse to allow my children to grow up around them. The whole thing has literally made me feel sick all night.
Your personal views seem a bit unusual?

How about archery? An acceptable hobby or not?

You shouldn't be feeling physically sick or deeming pwopmementaly unsound for taking up a pretty common skill based hobby.

mindutopia · 25/06/2020 15:10

An air rifle is largely a bit of a 'toy gun' (though obviously they can cause a lot of harm if used unsafely - I don't dispute that). If he wants anything more than that, and I'm assuming you are in the UK, he will need to apply for a gun license and it's quite difficult to get unless you have a reason to have one (land to shoot on or belong to a shooting club or whatever). Also, if you live in the house, the police should speak to you to understand how you feel and your sense of safety (particularly risk assessing if there is any potential for violence). You can speak to them privately and say how you feel. Alternatively, you could write a letter to the gun safety officer who will need to approve the license. It really is quite a lengthy process and it would be easy enough to derail. The bigger issue is how different your perspectives are on this and that it isn't something you are able to agree on.

PhoneLock · 25/06/2020 16:52

Hence no licence required for an Air Rifle.

Unless you are in Scotland, where a licence is required.

5foot5 · 25/06/2020 17:31

There is literally no point in him going and shooting at targets/clay pigeons etc.

Well I hate the idea of people killing animals for sport but I don't see any reason to object to shooting at targets - static or moving. My only experience was shooting at a target at a "Have a Go" session at a Country Fair but I found it quite satisfying and fun to try. As was archery, crossbow and catapult.

I suppose you could say there is no "point" in any of them other than to enjoy learning a new skill. Would you object to all of them too?

Kaiisaclay · 26/06/2020 15:10

I would be fine with him taking it up as a hobby but the line would be drawn at having a gun in the home

PhoneLock · 26/06/2020 16:28

The problem is that to be competitive, you really need a gun of your own. My husband has had to lengthen the stock on his by two inches to fit his large frame. He borrowed a shotgun off a shorter relative once and ended up with a severely bruised cheek.

Beekeeper1 · 26/06/2020 18:47

Hmmm - I am on the fence on this one. I will preface this by saying that I have owned and used both shotguns and rifles, for more years than I care to remember, for target and live quarry shooting. I make no apology for that; the morality and ethics lie easy with me. Other people are, of course, entitled to a different view, provided they do not try and force that view on me! Ownership of and an interest in guns and shooting does not make one a 'disgusting' person, a psychopath or a mass killer in waiting - of course it doesn't. I regard a gun as simply an inanimate aggregation of wood, metal and, in some cases (ugh), plastic.A tool to carry out aspecific task. The purpose and intent of the person behind the trigger is what changes the dynamic.

I am, however, very surprised at many of the responses which the OP has received here. She, (assuming the OP is a woman, since a husband and children are mentioned) has outlined a very strong revulsion toward guns, mentions trauma, but has not disclosed, as is her prerogative, the nature and extent of that trauma. For all we know, purely speculative and conjecture, of course, she could have grown up or lived in a war torn country, or one riven by civil war or unrest. She may have witnessed atrocities which most of us could not even begin to comprehend. In which case, her antipathy and aversion toward and hatred of guns would be more than understandable. I doubt that councelling or therapy could ever help with that! Or maybe not - there may well be another strong and valid reason why she feels as she does - it is clearly a very entrenched opinion.

In this instance, if her husband is aware of why she feels as she does, my view is that he should gracefully back down - is it really worth tearing the family apart for the sake of persuing what may well be a short lived hobby. The OP's opening post suggests that her husband tends to flit from one short lived hobby or obssession to another. As a compromise, there ARE ways he could experience and indulge this new found hobby, without rushing into aquiring a shotgun or firearm certificate and bringing a gun into the house, which clearly would distress his wife beyond measure. I would not dream of imposing such insensitivity on my partner, if it was so contrary to their wishes, views and feelings.

I must also take issue with those who have suggested that air rifles are 'toys' or not 'proper guns'. Even a low powered air rifle is more than capable of blinding someone, causing other life changing injuries or even death - there have been cases of fatalities caused by air rifles. And any air rifle with a muzzle energy of 12ft/lb or above is classed as a Section 2 firearm, is bound by the same certification and security requirements as a rim fire or centrefire rifle. Never, ever regard an air rifle as 'not a proper gun'. They MUST be treated with the same care, respect, safety awareness and due diligence as any other firearm.

Justheretobeclear · 26/06/2020 19:16

I grew up in a farming community and I'm a bit confused by your post. He's correct that he doesn't need a license for his air rifle and he's also correct that Scouts often go shooting (if they're Scouts from a farming community).
However, you can't go clay pigeon shooting with an air rifle - you'd look absolutely mental. And he won't get a license for a shotgun. I wouldn't have guns in the house personally but I find your issue here a bit of a "you problem" too.
He's an adult and if he wants a hobby then that's up to him. I'd agree somewhat with your ethics being valid if he weren't keeping them out of reach of your children or if he were killing animals but you're being a bit controlling otherwise.

Beekeeper1 · 26/06/2020 19:36

But if the OP and her husband live in Scotland he would need a license for an air rifle - any air rifle - and for the rest of the UK , if the muzzle energy is 12ft/lb or above, as I have said, it would be classed as a Section 2 firearm and would require a valid firearm certificate.

He may well, if he has applied for one, be granted a shotgun certificate. Unless one has a history of mental illness or has served a custodial sentence in excess of six months, the police Firearms Licensing Unit have no legal authority to deny him one, provided security arrangements meet the legal requirement. One does not even need to prove that one has permission to shoot on any land - target shooting is a perfectly valid and acceptable reason to own a shotgun. And once one has one's certificate there is no limit to the number of shotguns that may be held, although each one has to be recorded on the certificate as does any sale, purchase or transfer. If the number of shotguns exceeds a certain number the police MAY insist on extra security precautions eg a burglar alarm or an alarm on the gun security cabinet. And there is no limit to the number of rounds of ammunition one can buy or keep at any one time.

Much more complex and strict for a firearms certificate for rifles though.

Beekeeper1 · 26/06/2020 20:25

Careful reading of the OP's posts does suggest that she has witnessed some horrific scenes connected with firearms - therefore I cannot help but feel that her revulsion may well be totally justified and is much more than a simple dislike or unease. I feel more than a little sympathy towards her, even as a gun owner and shooting enthusiast myself. Her husband must be lacking in empathy or sensitivity if he wishes to overide her on this - I can quite see why it is a cataclysmic situation for her and why she would wish to reconsider her whole relationship with her husband.

Jeeves93 · 03/07/2020 15:46

I don't see any difference between archery and target shooting to be honest. Both can be potentially deadly, but they are genuine sports.

nocoolnamesleft · 03/07/2020 15:57

I get the impression that there's some highly relevant back story that you're not happy to discuss. My mum is as anti gun as you are. As a child, she and her cousins were playing with a shotgun. One of the cousins died. So she has very good reason. I suspect that your reference to what you have seen is a traumatic event. If so, your DH is being unreasonable.

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