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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Guns, AIBU?

73 replies

ToffeePennie · 25/06/2020 01:19

My husband has now got a new obsession - guns. Small, ladies air rifles etc and he has applied for the correct licence for another type of gun.
I have always hated them. I grew up around them and really dislike them.
He seems to think it’s no big deal if he were to keep one in the attic. He claims not to know about my extreme revulsion of them.
We have had a row about them this evening and he has made it plain he plans to carry on and bring them into our home.
He even used our sons’ interest in the scouting movement to try and “win” the argument (which is ridiculous - the scouts do not routinely go shooting as far as I am aware, nor is that even a valid argument as I would want to keep my children away from guns).
I am going to speak to him again in the morning, but this really feels like a make or break issue for me!
So am I crazy? Are guns perfectly normal (for none farmers)?

OP posts:

FromMarch2020 · 25/06/2020 09:27

Different societies have different approach to guns.
USA gun culture?
UK - very few people have/need/want guns
I am UK and can shoot air pistols/rifles etc and have done at a gun club and it can be a great sport.

It depends on the 'relationship' with the gun - healthy or unhealthy obsession

FromMarch2020 · 25/06/2020 09:29

@BritWifeinUSA

Home invasion - not sure if you remember but in the UK you cannot keep a gun just in case someone breaks in. Very different to the US.

dontlikebeards · 25/06/2020 09:38

My DH has owned guns for 30 years. I don't even think about them being in the house. They are secure and neither I or the children could access them.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

AlexandPea · 25/06/2020 09:41

Have you thought about having some sort of counselling for your issues / controlling behaviour?

Lansonmaid · 25/06/2020 09:52

I take part in English Civil War re-enactments (yes I know, weird hobby) and have two muskets. I don’t consider myself a psychopath and there are quite rightly a lot of steps you have to go through to get a shotgun certificate. And the police have to be sure that the guns are being held securely. I don’t therefore have an issue with gun ownership under the rules in this country

Hingeandbracket · 25/06/2020 10:21

@ToffeePennie

Supposedly he wouldn’t need a licence for The gun he already owns (as it’s an air rifle?). I’m ignoring all the legalities of it currently because I feel sick. He says he wants it for sport, but he knows my past, he knows what I have seen and how I feel about them. I honestly think people who shoot for fun are mentally ill/disturbed in some way. Farmers and armed forces only, for me. There is literally no point in him going and shooting at targets/clay pigeons etc. And I refuse to allow my children to grow up around them. The whole thing has literally made me feel sick all night.

There's quite a difference between an Air Rifle and "proper" guns.

Hence no licence required for an Air Rifle.

There is a certain joy in being able to hit a target and air rifles aren't load or in any way scary if used properly - they are useless for self defence too.

He says he wants it for sport, but he knows my past, he knows what I have seen and how I feel about them.

What have you seen?

Anamechanged · 25/06/2020 10:27

You've got very strong opinions on it so I guess it is a deal breaker.

Lots of fully normal people keep guns and shoot though

K4fkaesque · 25/06/2020 10:40

I shoot air rifle and pistol at the local club. I've chosen not to get a gun licence or shoot "proper guns" as a compromise with my wife as she wouldn't want them in the house.

Perhaps that would be a way forward for you?

contrmary · 25/06/2020 11:00

Assuming he applies for and is approved for an appropriate licence, what's the harm? Part of the licensing condition will be that the firearm is stored securely away from ammunition, and inspections can be made at any time to ensure that he is complying with this.

The only firearms you can legally own (in mainland Britain) without a licence are low-powered air guns and obsolete / antique firearms that have been made inoperable. These pose little threat to a paper target, let alone a human.

It's unfortunate that Britain is so unenlightened when it comes to gun ownership. The US model might be taking things too far, but I don't see any harm in citizens with the appropriate training and licence in owning a handgun, shotgun or rifle. You only have to look at the terrorist attacks (people on MI5's radar would be barred from owning one) - if the Islamist lunatic runs round trying to stab people, I'd rather someone on the scene had a firearm to put a stop to them. Lives matter.

wombat1a · 25/06/2020 11:02

Think YABVVU, we all shoot, parents, brothers + his family, sister + her family and it's a great family activity. To have my nephews and nieces challenge our kids and so out with their granddad is one of the things I am most proud of. DH came from a non-shooting background and it was a dealbreaker for me, he either allowed me to continue or he was off. Luckily he picked it up and now really likes 'his' evening when he and the kids go out and leave me at home.

StoorieHoose · 25/06/2020 11:08

The armed police would be the only people I would want carrying a gun to take out a terrorist.

The UK does not need to change gun laws. There is a very good reason the law is the law at the moment

PhoneLock · 25/06/2020 11:16

There is literally no point in him going and shooting at targets/clay pigeons etc.

There is no "point" to a lot of hobbies.

Guns are pretty normal for me. I'm a pretty good shot. I grew up around them. My husband too. He started competitive shooting (with firearms) at school.

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 25/06/2020 11:21

@StoorieHoose

The armed police would be the only people I would want carrying a gun to take out a terrorist.

The UK does not need to change gun laws. There is a very good reason the law is the law at the moment

I don’t think there a lot of people in the U.K. who would be questioning this and unless I am mistaken, there was no suggestion about changing the law or carrying guns!

But target shooting (in a controlled environment) is great fun!

Veterinari · 25/06/2020 11:22

Guns don't kill people, people kill people.

What? guns kill people all by themselves @dontlikebeards ?

How do explain the zero mass shooting deaths in the UK since the enactment of stringent gun control legislation then?
Why aren't all those dillusioned school kids performing mass killings by other means ?

dontlikebeards · 25/06/2020 11:28

@Veterinari I think you missed my point. A gun is only dangerous in the wrong hands. With good regulation (which we have in the UK) gun ownership is safe.

Inextremis · 25/06/2020 11:42

Not got a lot to offer apart from solidarity, OP - if you're 'mentally disturbed', then so am I - and I have no history of bad experiences with guns, I just loathe them and wouldn't live in a house with one, whether for sporting purposes or otherwise.

TerrorWig · 25/06/2020 11:46

I think YABU, I wouldn’t like guns in the house but I have no real reason other than it seems like inviting trouble.

I think him wanting to shoot for sport is fine, and a compromise would be he stores the guns at a gun club.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 25/06/2020 11:49

With good regulation (which we have in the UK) gun ownership is safe.

Until someone who should not have a gun gets hold of a gun, because no one, surely, is so naive as to think any system of regulation or control is perfect and will always prevent that happening.

Veterinari · 25/06/2020 11:59

I agree @dontlikebeards

But since the slogan 'guns don't kill people, people kill people' is primarily used by the USA gun lobby to fight any regulation of guns then it doesn't really support the point that extensive gun regulation is actually very helpful in avoiding people killing people using guns.

dontlikebeards · 25/06/2020 12:11

@Iwalkinmyclothing of course the system isn't perfect but my point is that normal, sensible people can own and use guns for sport in a very safe and unremarkable manner.

Obviously there are many others issues regarding guns but in relation to the OPs post there should not be any issues to her DH owning a gun if he follows the law.

TabbyMumz · 25/06/2020 12:12

"Until someone who should not have a gun gets hold of a gun, because no one, surely, is so naive as to think any system of regulation or control is perfect and will always prevent that happening."
No it wont, but dont know if you've noticed, a lot of recent terrorism has involved knives, not guns, and we are never going to be able to restrict the use of those.

TabbyMumz · 25/06/2020 12:15

I tend to think when you restrict the use of something, kids want them more. If they arent given toy guns of any sort they use their finger, or a stick. I decided to allow son to play with toy guns, then encouraged him to have a go with air rifles etc at country fairs. He loved it. I even paid for him to have a lesson in gun safety at a local rifle range. Now hes older, hes no longer bothered about them.

heartsonacake · 25/06/2020 12:16

YANBU. I wouldn’t be around anyone who had guns, legal or not. It’s not appropriate and it’s not safe.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 25/06/2020 12:34

No it wont, but dont know if you've noticed, a lot of recent terrorism has involved knives, not guns, and we are never going to be able to restrict the use of those.

I'm sure you've noticed the difference in death counts when a terrorist has a knife as opposed to a gun. How many people can you kill from a first floor window with a knife? And how many people could you kill from the same spot with a gun? If Stephen Paddock had been armed with a handful of knives rather than a load of guns I expect he would have murdered far less than 58 people and wounded far less than 413.

I'm sure people remember the Dunblane massacre and the subsequent Cullen Report and Firearms Acts? There are excellent reasons to heavily limit access to deadly weapons.

And if the terrorist incidents you refer to involved guns instead of knives, far more people would be dead as a result of them, so it really is beyond my understanding why you would use those as an example of why we should have lighter restrictions on access to guns .

Bouledeneige · 25/06/2020 12:38

I understand how you feel OP - I really wouldn't want any type of fun in the house. I live in London and don't know anyone who would have one either. But I don't think I'd care about someone going to a gun club to shoot targets.

In the upper classes and rural communities shooting is clearly much more accepted.

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