To think that what SIL said to DN is awful!

[Lahmacun]

We were having a (socially distanced) family gathering yesterday for the first time since the lockdown started. Everyone was cheerful and things were going well until DN 8 said that he wants to go on holiday in first class on an expensive airline. SIL replied to him that she would love it too but they can’t afford it as it’s too pricey. A bit of background here: my brother is the one working full time and SIL is currently SAHM following maternity break of their second daughter soon to be 2. She’s a great caring mother and always doing her best with the kids. She’s managing all the house responsibilities on her own as my DB works very long shifts.
Anyways my nephew decided to pull a grumpy face and said to his mum that she needs to get a job so they can afford paying for his dream holiday because using his words (You’re not doing any real work!).
My mum quickly jumped in and explained to him that he should be very grateful as he gets to see his mum whenever he wants ... etc SIL looked understandably quite disappointed especially as she wanted to get back to work in September but after doing the maths, they thought they’ll wait until their DD turns 3 so they can be eligible for the 15 hours of childcare. DN didn’t look convinced and said that he wants his mum to get back to work as he’s “fed up” of hearing the word “can’t afford” (his words)! At this point SIL exploded and told him that she’s fed up of his constant lack of gratitude and appreciation and that if he’s fed up and unhappy with his family why don’t he go and look for another richer mum and dad who can pay for all the endless list of things that he wants.
I was shocked to hear that but I couldn’t say anything as she was just telling me tired she’s feeling an hour before that.
DM thought that it’s fine and kids need some harsh words every now and then to respect boundaries.
AIBU to think that you should never say this to a child as it makes them feel unloved and not important?

[CantSayJack]

DN sounds lovely... 😳
He needed to be told, not mollycoddled further.
Children need to learn that life is jolly well expensive, if I constantly heard this I’d probably say the same.

[Cartesiandebt]

@pyongyangKipperbang my thoughts exactly

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Wondering if this is a reverse?

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

The DN sounds an absolute horror

He certainly does!

[ToBBQorNotToBBQ]

You definately do not have kids. Thought this post was going to be.... she called him a little cunt (or something else highly innapropriate) your SIL was perfectly reasonable. Your a cow bag for obviously discussing her with your mum for doing absolutely nothing.

[slipperywhensparticus]

My son tried this being gobby telling me I should stay at home to take care of them 🙄 I'm a single parent he said daddy PAYS you to stay home you should stay home I said your daddy PAYS me 7 a week for both of you your school dinners cost 10 a week shall we do the math? Surprisingly he hasn't mouthed off since

Sometimes the truth is for the best

[DancyNancy]

I see no issue with saying that. I've said similar myself in a less emotional manner. He was being a little pup, more than that actually. He's just a kid but behaviour was bratty. And he'll be grand don't worry.

[SummerDayWinterEvenings]

@JellyBellies

I think DN needed to hear the truth. Life's not fair and that's how it is. You don't get everything

Yes indeed. Of course he needs to be told to get a grip. Spolit brates are made not born............so I don't blame her. My son told me at a similiar age that I needed to ensure we had enough money to ensure something that he has his own ipad or something and he repeatedly it daily for a number of days. He lost his kindle for 3 months for his relentless outbursts bloody hell did he appreciate his kindle after that.
He sounds like he needs nipping in the bud. And she's needs support.

[Thurmanmurman]

Sounds like Little Lord Fontleroy needed to hear some home truths. YABVU

[wildcherries]

Good for her. He was being ungrateful and entitled, and I think she must have just had enough.

[ValleyClouds]

Your nephew is spoiled and got the telling off he deserved

I think you started this thread in the hope your SIL would be trashed by MN

Is there a reason for that ?

[EsmeeMerlin]

Come back to us op when you are dealing with a 8 year old like that. Your sil did nothing wrong, nothing. Her 8 year old was being ungrateful, rude and probably embarrassed her a great deal in front of her in laws. It’s probably not the first time she has been put down by her son either. He won’t be scarred for life by being told off like that.

[LunaMuffinTop]

Good on your SIL your DN needed to be told some home truths he sounds like very spoilt brat and it’s good that she gave him a reality check.

[Gulabjamoon]

I was shocked to hear that but I couldn’t say anything

It's not your place to say anything. You sound very judgemental.

[Tootletum]

Kids aren't such precious flowers that the reality of what things cost will somehow traumatise them. He was being very insolent and should be told exactly what he was told. So what if she was pissed off!

[overnightangel]

Nephew sounds like a little brat

[Littlemeadow123]

Her son was being an ungrateful brat and that behaviour needed to be nipped in the bud. How would what she said make him feel unloved?

[Time2change2]

The things he said sound rude and spoilt. However- these words have not come from him. He has heard this somewhere else from an adult (even if it’s via a friend who heard it from an adult) 8 year olds wouldn’t even know what first class in a top notch airline is unless they have been told and nor would they have the attitude about going back to work without adult input. I have an 8 year old myself right now and am familiar with all his 8 year old friends. I have also taught 8 year olds in the past and they just don’t come out with this

[WhatCFeryIsThis]

Telling him to find new parents might have stung. I skimmed the thread but I couldn't see if you mentioned how DN reacted. But that's not important, if he pulls his finger out and realises that having parents really is a privilege. If he continues thinking there's nothing to lose, he will grow up to treat partners, friends and colleagues like this. It's not fair to 'shield' him to the point that it destroys his adult life.

[BlueJava]

Good for her hopefully his whining will stop!

[choli]

I would have told the little shit to get a job and start saving.

[HoppingPavlova]

Sounds like a horrible little fucker and I’m surprised that’s all your sister said. I think she was incredibly restrained.

[BeautifulCrazy]

What a strange thing for an 8 year old to want.

I probably wouldn’t have said the thing about finding new parents but I would definitely have had a few things to say to him if he was my son. I imagine his mum felt very upset and maybe he needed to hear it though.

[Reenskar]

OP....YABU. Funny how everyone has all the answers on ideal parenting until they have their own little darlings. Kids can be arseholes and they need to learn that actions have consequences, otherwise what sort of monsters will we unleash on society ? DN is more than old enough to be told in no uncertain terms when his behaviour is unacceptable.

[Enchantmentz]

I doubt the 8 year old has any concept about the true cost of things and how life works around that, however if he was being relentless and then completely rude then you sis in law was quite right to set him straight.

I can well believe youtube is a contributor to his unrealistic expectations.