I don't want to go!

[Notupforit]

It's my sister's birthday and we agreed we'd go to the zoo. Then the plan changed and she said she wanted to go to a water park and have a BBQ. My sister and her boyfriend are very athletic and absolutely gorgeous. They put a lot of emphasis on eating clean and staying fit. My husband and I are athletic too but we like our food. I gave birth not too long ago and I haven't exactly bounced back. I'm not "fat" but I'm definitely not happy with my body. I've also got stretch marks and scars and excess skin. I was very unwell during my pregnancy and a lot of my hair fell out. I can cover it when it's styled properly but if it gets wet then I think it'll all show.
I just don't want to go. I'll feel judged and ugly and fat and self-conscious. What do I do?

I believe water parks aren't allowed to open yet anyway .
When is this meant to be ?

@imsooverthisdrama It's definitely open. It's an outdoors water park if that makes any difference. It's got a big lake and you book a pitch like a campsite where you can set up your chairs and BBQ and things. We've booked this for tomorrow and I just put this worry to the back of my mind and now it's completely overwhelming me.

Your sister loves you, your husband loves you
Don't let your insecurities ruin your life

Don’t go if it is causing you stress. However, as an overweight person, who is likely bigger than you, I spent too many years worrying about what my body looks like to others, and missed out on things I now regret. I didn’t like pictures of me so I didn’t have that many taken and I regret that too. Will you regret not going to this? Will it stop you doing other things too?

If you dont feel comfortable then just dont go. You wont feel relaxed or enjoy yourself. Who wants to go to a stinky hot bbq in this weather anyway. Its not a good idea for a new baby to be out in this heat.

I see its outside,
I think you shouldn't let your insecurities stop you from enjoying yourself.
Can you wear a costume with shorts / dress over and or a like a kimono over the top ?
Everyone feels insecure about their body .
Go and find a outfit that will make you feel good .
You can just sunbathe if it's outside do your hair and makeup nice , I bet it's lovely.

Are you bringing your baby? Go & don't go on the activities/in the water if you don't want to...but you can enjoy spending time when they are on land having picnic etc? Can you drive separately to allow you leave early if baby fussing or weather is bad?

Can I go in your place?

Seriously though, have you got anything you can cover up with? Not that I think you have to but to make you feel more comfortable. Your body won't be a big terrible shock to anyone, it's only your self consciousness making you feel like that.

I had a conversation with a friend the other day who said their biggest regret was missing out on amazing days out at the beach, lakes and water parks because they were too self conscious to wear a swimming costume.

You will probably feel uncomfortable for a while, but I would think it's worth it for a great day out - especially with everything going on right now.

It's probably not helpful, but it might be good to remind yourself that you are the only person negatively judging your body - and you shouldn't let you get in the way of having a lovely day out :)

I'd be coming down with a tummy bug
My idea of hell.

Wear a hat (baby too) and use that as a reminder not to get your hair wet. Use the baby as an excuse to only do the low key things that you want to comfortably do (ie paddling and splashing water on said baby) If you have a short cover up then just wear that the whole time.

I'm from Aus and the sun there is so fierce that it's very normal for people to wear their coverups/tshirts/shorts etc in the water when they are getting wet, even the super hot, toned skinny ones who love their bodies. You have a new baby, you can do whatever you like :-)

If you dont want to swim or wear a swimming costume dont. Go along and enjoy the sun and bbq and leave them to the water stuff.....

To the contrary, I think if you’re hair is wet and it looks thin - anyone (if they even noticed) would just think it appears thin because it’s wet, rather than because you’re losing hair

Your hair*

If it's like our water park on a lake we hire wetsuits as it's so cold in the water. Is this an option for you? Would help you not to burn as well as it's supposed to be really hot again

You've given birth not long ago and you're expecting your body to have bounced back and look athletic and toned like your athletic sister and her boyfriend, who haven't recently given birth?

Stop doing that to yourself.

You don't look ugly, you look like a woman.

If it's going to make you miserable, don't go as you won't enjoy yourself but please stop comparing yourself unfavourably to other people who, probably, work very hard at keeping their look.

You've brought another human being into the world and it will take a while for your body to recover from that.

Please be kinder to yourself.

I have got a very overweight friend but if he didn't want to see me or celebrate a birthday because he was worried what he looked like,l would be gutted. I just enjoy seeing him, couldn't give a flying one what he looks like!

I wouldn't go if I didn't want to, regardless of the occasion. And however you feel about your appearance, OP, I think a baking hot day at a water park with a small baby sounds deeply unfun.

My idea of hell . I simply wouldn't go.

Don’t let your sister down on her birthday!! Just go even if it means you don’t wear swimwear

I just don't go anywhere if I don't want to. I know I'm in the minority with this though.

I just don't go anywhere if I don't want to. I know I'm in the minority with this though.

Women would generally be far happier if more adopted this position rather than continually doing things they don't want out of a sense of duty. Personally, I wouldn't have agreed to the change of plan in the first place.

That sounds so fun. Don't let your body hang ups dictate your life 🥰

If you want to go apart from this body stuff then I would find a way to do it.

If you don't want to go anyway then don't.

I felt similar when I went on holiday with some of my family a couple of years ago. I found a tankini thing that covered my stomach though and felt much comfier.

Do you have to get your hair wet? Could you get a hat and make it look just like a normal summery accessory? If it's outdoors and it's sunny it wouldn't look weird having a sun hat on.

Ps. I think that there is nothing wrong with stretch marks and excess skin and all the rest of it. You've just given birth! Your body is amazing.

But I do understand its easy to say when it's someone else. I get it.