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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really dislike being pregnant?

35 replies

CommonMallow · 23/06/2020 20:28

Hi,

Bit worried about getting torn apart for this but I want to say that I totally appreciate that I can get pregnant and I sympathise with all those who have difficulties.

But I hate it. I’m just short of 8 months and I really haven’t enjoyed any moment of it. I’ve been constantly sick, I feel awful and every time the baby kicks I get this weird feeling over my whole body that makes me feel like I want to be alone (really had to describe).

Did anyone else feel like this? I am worried it will affect my relationship with my child.

OP posts:
ncqtime · 23/06/2020 20:37

Yes totally grateful my body can be pregnant and give birth but my goodness I can't stand it most of the time. The exhaustion! I become so antisocial. But chances are you'll love that little parasite if not the boom instant love some people get then a comforting familiarity which soon grows to love. It's so great to be able to hand them over to someone else for a minute, even if it is the midwife offering to do a first nappy change!

Ihaveoflate · 23/06/2020 20:38

I hated being pregnant, as did a few people I've spoken to about it in my circle of female friends. I don't think it's that unusual. As for affecting the bond, I'm not sure it would necessarily. When the baby came along, the whole pregnancy just became irrelevant to me. I didn't give it a second thought.

Now, the traumatic birth maybe...

BankofNook · 23/06/2020 20:39

I had awful pregnancies with hyperemesis, sciatica, reflux, and more. I really disliked it and couldn't wait until it was over, I viewed pregnancy as a means to an end rather than some sort of magical blessed experience.

Bearlyawake · 23/06/2020 20:43

YANBU I massively disliked being pregnant. There was a brief period during the 2nd trimester when it wasn't so bad but prior to that I had horrific morning sickness / exhaustion and after that I had awful heartburn. But I forgot about it all pretty quickly after baby was born, and it definitely didn't impact our bond.

HowLongCanICallitBabyWeight · 23/06/2020 20:43

I hated being pregnant, couldn't sleep, tore my sacroiliac joint, gestational diabetes, presented the restrictions, comments and patronising advice, also hated child birth, love my son more than I thought possible. I find of o talk longer this about pregnancy most women agree to some extent, most of the earth mother, blossoming crap is for Instagram

Ploppymoodypants · 23/06/2020 20:46

Completely agree. So grateful for my lovely babies and feel so lucky and blessed to have them. But I’m not going to pretend that being pregnant was in anyway enjoyable or even okayish. And I have straight forwards text books pregnancies. Bad morning sickness for about 11 weeks but that was it. Don’t worry you are nearly there now and it’s soon forgotten x

mynameiscalypso · 23/06/2020 20:48

Agree, 100%. I thought before being pregnant that I probably only wanted one child. Now I know that I definitely do - I can't stand the thought of doing it again. That said DS was a million times worth it.

Sweettea1 · 23/06/2020 20:48

yep with my first hated every minute of it remember being in a baby group thing an midwife asked us all what we liked about being pregnant an everyone said something nice an I said I can't think of anything I like about being pregnant midwife sqid that's fine not every enjoys the experience.i never had a bad pregnancy either was just so uncomfortable. It didn't effect how I was or the bond i have with my son. 2nd pregnancy seemed a lot faster I enjoyed it more than 1st maybe because I'd already had the experience.but your not alone and its perfectly normal to feel this way.

Original poster
CommonMallow · 23/06/2020 20:50

Thank you for all your responses. I feel like you aren’t really allowed to say out loud that you haven’t enjoyed your pregnancy. If I have alluded to it to other mothers then people argue back with me, and of course I would never say it to someone who has struggled to conceive.

So pleased to hear that you’ve all loved motherhood even if you didn’t love pregnancy!

OP posts:
Useruseruserusee · 23/06/2020 20:50

I hated it. Especially with my second as I had HG and was just so ill for 9 months. I couldn’t help but be miserable!

It didn’t have any impact on my bond with DS however. Don’t worry about it, just get through the pregnancy one day at a time.

Original poster
CommonMallow · 23/06/2020 20:51

@mynameiscalypso

Agree, 100%. I thought before being pregnant that I probably only wanted one child. Now I know that I definitely do - I can't stand the thought of doing it again. That said DS was a million times worth it.
I feel like this already. People have started asking me about having another (which is mad, this one isn’t out yet!) and I’m already thinking ‘no way’
OP posts:
donkey86 · 23/06/2020 20:52

Yanbu. I’m 37 weeks and it sucks. Just want it over with now. The heatwave isn’t helping!

SummerBaby2020 · 23/06/2020 20:54

It’s my due date today and I can honestly say that yes I am grateful for being able to have a baby ( after being told that it was highly unlikely ) but I have hated every minute of it and can’t wait until LO is here. I think it’s been made worse with it being my first and with all of the COVID stuff going on I’ve been pretty much left to fend for myself but tbh it’s honestly put me off ever doing it again. Hopefully not long and your LO will be here @CommonMallow too Flowers good luck and bring on a wine lol!! Wine x

Pinkcat231 · 23/06/2020 20:54

I feel like the excitement about pregnancy and new babies is mostly for other people and not for the expectant mum at all. It’s hard work growing, birthing and then looking after a baby while recovering from parts 1 & 2!

As a previous poster said I’m very grateful to be able to do it but it’s not all fun and cute babies as seen on social media and advertising!

Give yourself a break, there’s not long to go and you’ll love your baby once they’re here and no more sickness or kicking m

Carlottacoffee · 23/06/2020 20:55

My goodness I hated being pregnant. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t want any more. I had big babies and had to go for physio whilst pregnant and after.

Couldn’t cope with smells. Was ridiculously tired. Swollen feet, bad back and hip. Cried a lot.

Felt like an alien after birth too!

Your not on your own Grin

RobynNora · 23/06/2020 21:01

Constantly sick? You are an absolute superstar! This is unrelated to your feelings for your child and you shouldn't beat yourself up. Plus, our hormones run wild when we're pregnant, which is easy to forget because it's not as obviously physical as the other stuff going on.

If my entire pregnancy in any way resembled my first trimester with sickness/generally feeling crappy I wouldn't like it one bit either! My friend is preg at the moment and gets really weirded out by the movements. I'd bet it's much more common than we hear about. You're doing amazingly well and you're very nearly there.

Sugarhouse · 23/06/2020 21:03

Yanbu I loved feeling baby kicks but everything else never ending sickness, heartburn, excruciating leg cramps, pelvic gurdle pain, finding it harder to breathe is bloody awful. It will soon be over though and they are so worth it. Hang in there I know the last month drags but baby will soon be here and then time will pass so quickly it’s scary. Good luck op Flowers

EmeraldShamrock · 23/06/2020 21:05

It is normal for many. I hated been pregnant too trying to get around with a big bump, sickness, heartburn, especially by 8 months.

LegallyBlue · 23/06/2020 21:07

Pregnancy is the worst thing that I have ever experienced. I hated every single second of it. There is absolutely nothing on this planet that would ever compel me to do it again. I did it once and adopted my other children. You are not alone. If it's any consolidation, for me, labour was the best part so don't worry yourself about that.

MrTumbleTumble · 23/06/2020 21:09

DS was an IVF baby, desperately wanted. I was so utterly grateful to be pregnant, and acutely aware of how lucky I was.

I still hated every single day of pregnancy though!

shakeituntilyoumakeit · 23/06/2020 21:28

I absolutely hated it. I haven’t been pregnant for six years and I still say to myself at least you aren’t pregnant on a weekly basis

northstars · 23/06/2020 23:19

Hated it as well. I had a hard time getting pregnant and I still found pregnancy very very difficult.

Saralou82 · 23/06/2020 23:35

Oh God yes! You have put it exactly right. So very grateful for my kids, but, pregnancy was awful. Don't worry about the bond you will be fine.

RoadTripsOceanDips · 23/06/2020 23:39

With all the usual disclaimers of being incredibly grateful to have my children, I absolutely loathed pregnancy. My first pregnancy ended with a MMC and that just made me hate pregnancy even more. I was really unwell throughout both my successful pregnancies and pretty anxious too. However, I bonded with both of my babies immediately and was just incredibly grateful to have a healthy baby and no longer be pregnant. As I’d felt so ill during pregnancy, which relieved once I’d given birth, I found the newborn stage a doddle comparatively.

BoomBoomsCousin · 23/06/2020 23:41

I hated it too. My MiL told me she loved being pregnant and all I could think was - How bad was your life that this could be better? (and yes, I know that's not reasonable, but when I was pregnant and just desperate for it to be over, that was how I felt!).

It will be over soon enough OP.