Handhold to all of you on Father's Day...

[Coffeebiscuitsrepeat]

... That have dads that are no longer with us. Also, to all of you that have a difficult relationship with your dads.

My dad was an amazing man. He died 10 years ago. 50 is no age - I'm raising a glass in his name today!

Wishing everyone a lovely Fathers Day. ❤️

First Father’s Day without my Dad who died 6 months ago (a few weeks off his 94th birthday)
He loved climbing

Fourteen long years for me. It feels like a lifetime x

My first Father’s Day without my dad. He passed away at 60 whilst we held his hand 😔 I’ve tried to ignore everything about today and had a good sob last night. It feels very unfair.

A nice idea for a thread OP thank you

Non existent relationship. He left my mum when I was a baby. Visited a few times u til I was about 10 but would rarely turn up. He was just never bothered. He is still alive, he had no more children.

I get upset every Father's Day. I'm so envious of my friends relationships with their fathers. I so wanted that. Especially growing up. My friends had great dads and I felt so left out.

DH doesn't really get it. He thinks I should just forget about it, be "used to it" I think because we have traveled a lot, we have a very lovely home, we both have great jobs, we have 3 beautiful grown up DC but there's a horrible emptiness involving the abandonment by my father that nothing can change and it comes to bite me every single bloody Father's Day. I stifle it the rest of the time.

@HouchinBawbags @scoobyd2

I'm in the same boat as you both, although thankfully my parents live round the corner. We were told 10 day into lockdown that he might have 3 months but he's still hanging in there.

I was working from home so able to help care for him but was told on Thursday I have to be back in the office from tomorrow.

@Shockedandbeffudled

First Fathers Day without him. Brilliant and inspirational man but bloody difficult.

Xxx

That sums up my father so perfectly that I can't help but wonder if you are my Dsis

[quote MintyCedric]**@HouchinBawbags* @scoobyd2*

I'm in the same boat as you both, although thankfully my parents live round the corner. We were told 10 day into lockdown that he might have 3 months but he's still hanging in there.

I was working from home so able to help care for him but was told on Thursday I have to be back in the office from tomorrow.[/quote]
Can you request compassionate leave?

loot tbh have been good about me working from home so far but it's a busy time of year (secondary school admin).

I'll be in 3/5 days and WFH the other 2, which I suppose is better than nothing.

They are well aware of my situation.

What I'm really dreading is all the 'how are you' and for those that know 'how is your dad' questions tomorrow.

Well I'm shit and he's dying, what more do you want me to say?

My Dad was a great man. Funny, clever, musical. I've found myself playing his old funk and soul tunes lately, and wishing my kids could have got to know him better. He died in early 2017 and I still find myself tearful about his death,sometimes, suddenly, with no trigger. Grief isn't linear, it's very strange. We hold them in our hearts forever, these good men. My kids are estranged from their own useless father, which makes today doubly sad.

My husband is an amazing father. Everything I would have wanted my dad to have been. Today I have sent him a card and a present as that is the done thing to do. But it angered and annoyed me that I had to do so.
I have always longed for the father that so many people have.

The questions are so hard aren't they ? My well meaning colleagues will ask how I am but I'd be much better if they just didn't mention it at all. They can't win though can they ?!

Thankyou for this as was working all day sunday so kept my mind buisy.
Dad died 2012 from bowel cancer. Miss him loads

loot you're not wrong.

One of my colleagues came in this morning (tbf I don't know if she's aware of my situation) and literally stood in front of me having a ten minute conversation with my immediate line manager about what they'd done for Father's Day.

Where I work the philosophy re home/personal issues is generally 'but it's really good you're here so you can keep some normality in your life'...

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel I have very much the same situation with my dad.
It never goes away, I stifle it most of the time too. I envy those who have had loving and involved fathers.

Mine died 30 years ago, we had a family business so I worked with him, which I think made it harder, I've not known the love of a good man since.

It actually took years to remember him as a fit, strong man, instead of a five stone emancipated skeleton he became. I'd give anything for one more day with him.

Mine died last month. As a PP said, I keep picking up the phone and then remembering. I loved my dad’s beautiful voice.