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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can they actually stop me

307 replies

Rosebel · 21/06/2020 10:56

I've been in hospital with pregnancy problems since last Sunday. Had the baby on Wednesday and every day they say I can go home tomorrow but still can't.
They are waiting for a Covid result which might be tomorrow but probably not. This is for the baby not me.
The doctor said they can't let me go but I'm sick of being in hospital. Every day is a reason why I can't go home. Can they actually stop me leaving with my baby?

OP posts:
Grobagsforever · 21/06/2020 12:07

Oh FFS posters like @slipperywhensparticus do my head in posting uniformed police state nonsense.

The hospital have no legal power to detain you, how could they? That would literally be imprisonment.

Just go home OP, you and your baby are much safer there, you can self isolate until your test results.

People are barmy

millyk · 21/06/2020 12:08

Just ask them why. Is it because they are worried about the baby? Or are they following procedure to make sure any community services seeing the child know his covid status? Either way there will be a reason for this. They wouldn't keep you there otherwise.

Witchend · 21/06/2020 12:09

In my experience they want to get you out as soon as possible-with my last I wasn't in more than 5 hours from start to discharge, and even my high risk baby wasn't more than 36 hours.

So that makes me think there's more to it than you either know or are saying.
I don't think people should be encouraging the Op to leave because we don't know the facts here.
There's a huge difference between leaving without being discharged because they're being slow, and leaving against medical advice.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 21/06/2020 12:10

With both my kids I'd been told I'd be discharged in the morning, but by lunch time hadn't been discharged so just told them I was going (they found the paperwork pretty quickly at that point)

For the second, they'd even taken the bed and I was just sat on chairs in the hallway from 9:30, until 1:30 when I just said that's it, I'm leaving, send anything you need onto my GP. I should mention this is

Grobagsforever · 21/06/2020 12:11

@gindrinker00 - NO THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CALL SOCIAL SERVICES.

What utter nonsense. Social services are maxed out with ACTUAL problems rather than a parent making their own, sensible decision.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 21/06/2020 12:11

Not had experience of getting a child out of hospital, but I did have trouble getting my elderly DM out on occasion, always because of the paperwork.

On one occasion, they were just waiting for the doctor to come and sign the paperwork off and she could go. 3 hours later, I asked when the doctor would be likely to sign it off and he had been in the ward two hours before...... and hadn't signed my DM's discharge. They were planning on just putting my Mum back to bed and asking me and DDad to be quiz contestants and "come back tomorrow."

Good luck either getting a medical reason to stay in or get out.

Reedshoes · 21/06/2020 12:13

Just shows how much miss information there is and ‘advice’ out there.

Yes yes you can
No no you can’t

OP I’m sore I don’t know but make sure you find out the answer from an official source

Congratulations btw

Toddlerteaplease · 21/06/2020 12:13

Paediatric nurse here. You absolutely do have the right to take your baby. Unless there are safeguarding issues. But they don't keep people in for no reason, especially at the minutes so I'd be inclined to stay.

KeyWorker · 21/06/2020 12:13

I would think there is more to it than waiting on COVID results. Ask your midwife to get the obstetrician to come and see you again to explain what is going on and the plan going forward. If your baby is also under a paediatrician then ask them to also come along too.

Viviennemary · 21/06/2020 12:14

I think they are being extra cautious. A new born baby with no health problems sadly died of CV last week. So maybe that's the reason thry are testing all new borns. Just stick it out would be my advice

Alb1 · 21/06/2020 12:16

What made them test the baby for covid in the first place? They must think he seems unwell somehow? I no it’s horrible on post natal wards but I would wait until the test result is back.

PrincessConsuelaVaginaHammock · 21/06/2020 12:18

Not without a court order they can't. However that's not to say they won't try and get it.

NoMoreDickheads · 21/06/2020 12:19

You can but it's not advisable as they see your baby as ill or at risk of being ill. I know being in hospital is annoying, but it'll only be for another day or two.

CodenameVillanelle · 21/06/2020 12:19

@PrincessConsuelaVaginaHammock

Not without a court order they can't. However that's not to say they won't try and get it.
Eh? Why would a hospital attempt to get a court order to stop a mum taking a baby home before Covid test results are through? Can you just think that scenario through?
notheragain4 · 21/06/2020 12:23

That sounds awful OP. Hospitals are horrible places to be especially at the moment I imagine! I wasn't even in hospital 24 hours and that was too much. If baby is otherwise healthy I would be looking to discharge and getting home as the biggest risk here seems to be your mental wellbeing. Is there any reason to believe baby actually has corona? Surely it's riskier in a public environment than safe at home unless baby does catch it? I would be investigating the exact reasons they are keeping you in, if it is routine corona testing not a chance would I be staying.

diddl · 21/06/2020 12:25

"But they don't keep people in for no reason, especially at the minutes so I'd be inclined to stay."

So why not tell Op the reason?

justanotherneighinparadise · 21/06/2020 12:26

My partner had to come in to break me out when I had DC2 four years ago. In my case there was nothing wrong at all. All text book stuff and yet still they couldn’t get anyone to do the necessary paperwork and I knew if he didn’t come in and just get me I’d be stuck there overnight.

We basically just packed up all our stuff, put the baby in the carry cot and headed towards the desk. Yes there was an awful lot of flapping but we got out of there successfully.

Alittleshortforaspacepooper · 21/06/2020 12:26

You are usually able to take your baby against medical advice - I know this because I did it (and my god, did it turn out to be the right thing to do, but that's a whole other story...)

But I would imagine the fact that you are waiting on a covid test would muddy the waters. A pandemic has been declared and the government have been given lots of powers that they didn't have before. Maybe that would come into play in this instance? I'm not sure.

CouldBeOuting · 21/06/2020 12:28

What are their concerns? I discharged myself and DC1 because I wanted to breastfeed but hadn’t succeeded in hospital because every time I fell asleep they gave her a bottle.

I took her home and successfully breastfed her for 18 months!

Straycatstrut · 21/06/2020 12:30

I was in the same situation before CV & lockdown waiting for my son (with hypospadias) to have a wee. They needed clear proof we could physically urinate and he just would drink a lot of milk and would NOT wee. It was July and I was boiling and felt filthy and disgusting and suffocated. I totally get it. But there is no way I'd have left until he'd pee'd. If he was physically unable that meant his bladder could have caused him severe problems and pain and he'd need emergency surgery. He eventually had a VERY small wee in his nappy at the end of day 2. I danced up and down the ward and proudly presented it to the nurses and skipped out of there!!

Get a clear CV result for him and then you can leave happily without that feeling that he still could have caught it.

Straycatstrut · 21/06/2020 12:32

Day 3^^ not day 2! Makes a huge difference when the days feel like months in there!

WokeUpSmeltTheCoffee · 21/06/2020 12:36

Just say

'I would like to discharge myself now. I am packing up and taking my baby.'
(Or elderly relative or whatever)
Then watch how fast a Dr arrives..
If they give you a good explanation why you should not go then presumably you will hear them out and stay.

I am a Dr
And I have discharged myself from hospital when I felt it was just petty bureaucracy keeping me there.
If it's discharge paperwork or meds holding things up just offer to collect them later.

We don't have any legal powers to keep people in hospital (apart from S5,2 MHA and you have to be mentally ill for that to apply). If we felt it was a serious safeguarding issue of a child or incapacitated person we'd ultimately have to get the police. I really can't see them invoking emergency child protection powers unless there is a lot more to the story.

So yes of course you can leave if you have capacity to make decisions and you take responsibility for going against medical advice
You will usually be asked to sign a form to that effect so they can cover themselves.

GabriellaMontez · 21/06/2020 12:39

Demanding to see the consultant doesn't really work in these situations.

You inform staff you'll be leaving and then either

  1. A dr appears and explains why it is important you stay

OR

  1. They suddenly find your signed discharge papers and off you go.
Original poster
Rosebel · 21/06/2020 12:44

Yes but they have already lied as I was told could go yesterday then told one more night. Now they are saying another night. Then if they don't get the result it'll be another week.
One visitor per patient allowed and been in a room with 2 other patients and their visitors so he could have infected people anyw8. Better to be at home infecting less, people surely.

OP posts:
QualityFeet · 21/06/2020 12:46

Just tell them you are going unless their is a specific concern about your baby. No reason that baby can’t be checked before you leave and if you are determined to go they will probs are he a discharge and hurry results if possible. You can leave anyway - you have good reasons to do so in the absence of other issues.