Wibu to let my boys play football in the garden?

[Invisimamma]

Yesterday was a lovely weather here, we have a small back garden and we're semi detached with neighbours, a couple in their 60s. I have two ds age 5 and 9.

After lunch we did a couple of hours of weeding and tidying up in the garden which the dc helped with. Then my eldest went inside to play computer games for a hour or so whilst my youngest played with toys in the garden, dp and I had a drink in the sun . Then my eldest came back outside around 4pm and kicked a ball with his brother for 20-30 minutes scoring shots into a goal. Then we stopped and had some bbq food on our decking, after that the boys went back to the football. The neighbour shouted loudly to the children 'would you give it a rest with the ball!?' I told the boys they could continue to play but please keep the ball low so didn't hit the hedge. Then 10mins later she came to me and said over the fence with a sharp tone 'everyone deserves a rest you know, can they just stop with the footballs.' I replied they were just playing, but I took the boys indoors indoors about 30mins later around 6pm. Was I being unreasonable not to make them stop playing with the footballs? They were not squealing or shouting, just kicking a ball back and forward to each other and keeping score.

We don't use the garden everyday, they don't play out often and I make an effort to take them to local woods for walk to burn off energy daily, but yesterday we just felt like having a bbq and afternoon in the garden. Our Neighbours spend a lot of time in their garden often sitting out all day with a radio playing, their dog barks at us through the fence, I've never complained or mentioned this to them, so I feel it should be a bit of give and take and children are entitled to play in their garden too?

Playing football during normal afternoon hours is fine as long as it's not continuous and it doesn't sound like your boys were.

Next time just mention the dog and the radio. As you say it's give and take.

Totally ignore them. You've done nothing wrong. What a cheek your neighbour's have.

Ignore her. Nothing wrong with your boys playing football in their own garden.

Were they repeatedly hitting the wall or fence? This is soooooo annoying. If not it sounds like yanbu.

They cant expect silence. But. We all need to be a bit considerate.

A radio in the garden is way more irritating.

I’m sorry but she is BU.

If your DC were bashing he ball again and again and again off a fence/panel then she’d have a point.

As they weren’t she’s just being a cow.

Have they been unreasonable cantankerous gits in the past?

Unless they're banging it against fences I see no problem. It maybe long term you have to come to some arrangement only x amount of time per day and not too early or late for example.

I don't think you've been unreasonable at all. I'd just smile and not and then ignore.

Ignore her.

Fine as long as they are not hitting the fence or hedge and the ball stays in your garden. Are they playing with a child size football or full size? The full size ones are louder I think.

Kicking to each other is fine, they're not kicking it off a wall or loud surface. I'd probably make them take a break after a while, like you did. You did nothing wrong. Mine have pogo sticks, they are noisey and we all need a break after 20 mins. We are all living on top of each other and we have to be patient with each other.

Your children have done nothing wrong, I hate neighbours like this who expect little ones to sit quietly.

That's I so reassuring, I was worried I should have stopped them from playing.

It wasn't against a fence, they have a goal with a net which catches the ball most of thr time, if it misses it does hit into the hedge which borders our gardens at that section, but it doesn't quite bang like a fence would.

They do have form for being unreasonable about other things but I wanted to leave that out of it as I thought on this occasion it might have been me that was being unreasonable!

Repeatedly hitting a wall, back of a net or damaging a hedge is very annoying as is having to throw balls back more than once a day but as long as they weren't screaming at the top of their voices it's fine until 6pm or so. As a rule I would say up to 2 hours a day if moderately noisy kids is fine - mine are grown and never were keen on the garden so it's hard to judge how much say trampolining is a lot, we never owned one (they are computer and Lego types)

There are no rules. Carry on as you are but accept your neighbours won’t like you or accept your neighbours conditions and stop your children from enjoying their play time. It’s really up to you.

Just ignore. If she pipes up again just keep saying the same line ‘they are playing in their own garden’ just keep repeating it. If she goes on and on say you are not willing to discuss it anymore and turn your back.
Just make sure they don’t hit her side or kick the ball over

Tell your neighbours once they start paying your mortgage they can have a say what happens until then beat it

I think yanbu but I have 3 boys and they do kick balls hard against the fence and I'm aware how loud it is. I bought 3 foam balls from Amazon and it completely solves the problem. They can still play and kick hard but it's not making a lot of noise x

Tbh even if they were banging it off the fence it was for thirty minutes big deal the neighbours just have to put up with it! They were t doing it for hours.

Absolutely unreasonable of your neighbours and very cheeky.

Kicking a ball is what children do.

As long as they are not screeching, they have every right to play in their garden.

Sounds like YOU have been too passive.

YOU need to take offense and tell your neighbours that YOU will not be told what to do in YOUR garden.

I'm a huge believer in being responsible and respectful to my neighbours but there is no way I would tolerate that.

You need to be very very firm.

If she asks for you to giive it a break from kicking the ball again, I'd say, then you can give us a break from the radio and barking dog. They are kids playing in the garden, not screaming and banging the ball on a wall or fence.
They need to know they are being quite annoying too.

She has no business complaining about your kids kicking a ball in their own garden. If they are making a lot of noise get some foam balls as a PP mentioned. And next time the cantankerous gits try it on you need to push back by complaining about the radio and barking dog. If she wants a rest she can always try noise cancelling headphones, they work a treat.

It always amazes me that older people who dont like noise live in a Semi and not a bungalow TBH! Surely they can appreciate that young boys need to let off steam now and again? Maybe say to her you are sorry for disturbing her ,but her radio is irritating as well!

I'd make sure they have a size three football (I do think bigger balls belong on a football pitch) or better still, foam balls like a PP mentioned and limit it to two hours a day.

Your neighbors are twats.

Thanks everyone, glad to hear we werent being unreasonable.

We've tried the foam footballs before but find that due to being so lightweight they tend to be more likely to end up over the hedge!

@dottiedodah they are very 'young' for 60s and raised their own family here in their home so I can understand why they live here and not in a bungalow. A bungalows in this area are in high demand and would be quite expensive for them. I suppose when they move out my children will be grown up and we might have to put up with a younger family moving in 😉.