Wibu to let my boys play football in the garden?

[Invisimamma]

Yesterday was a lovely weather here, we have a small back garden and we're semi detached with neighbours, a couple in their 60s. I have two ds age 5 and 9.

After lunch we did a couple of hours of weeding and tidying up in the garden which the dc helped with. Then my eldest went inside to play computer games for a hour or so whilst my youngest played with toys in the garden, dp and I had a drink in the sun . Then my eldest came back outside around 4pm and kicked a ball with his brother for 20-30 minutes scoring shots into a goal. Then we stopped and had some bbq food on our decking, after that the boys went back to the football. The neighbour shouted loudly to the children 'would you give it a rest with the ball!?' I told the boys they could continue to play but please keep the ball low so didn't hit the hedge. Then 10mins later she came to me and said over the fence with a sharp tone 'everyone deserves a rest you know, can they just stop with the footballs.' I replied they were just playing, but I took the boys indoors indoors about 30mins later around 6pm. Was I being unreasonable not to make them stop playing with the footballs? They were not squealing or shouting, just kicking a ball back and forward to each other and keeping score.

We don't use the garden everyday, they don't play out often and I make an effort to take them to local woods for walk to burn off energy daily, but yesterday we just felt like having a bbq and afternoon in the garden. Our Neighbours spend a lot of time in their garden often sitting out all day with a radio playing, their dog barks at us through the fence, I've never complained or mentioned this to them, so I feel it should be a bit of give and take and children are entitled to play in their garden too?

I had two boys, they always played in the garden, football, jumping on the trampoline, swingball. Our house is detached we never had a neighbour complain. They aren’t doing anything wrong, let your children play.

I thank god the neighbours I have both sides are so nice - elderly couples one side and family the other. Both are nice to the kids, chat to them, give me compliments on them (undeserved in my opinion!) and generally we all try to be nice to one another.

Your neighbours are being arseholes.

I honestly think you need to be a special kind of arsehole to complain about kids playing. Sure if it was constant all day every day but that’s not what this is.

When my daughter was young, our garden was tiny, and closely bordered others gardens, very elderly neighbours on both sides, she played foot ball and had a trampoline, all we ever got was a smile and a wave if they came out.

Now she’s older, and we have a big garden but a young kid next door who we often hear him playing or squealing As he does, Before lock down he’d have friends over, I Simply can’t imagine telling them to make him stop.

Just ignore her🙄. Nothing wrong with kids playing a bit of football

get them a trampoline....

There was no need for the ageist comments on here.

You can be an unreasonable, anti-social neighbour at any bloody age!

As long as your children weren't screaming all day then you were not unreasonable at all. Children are allowed to play in their own gardens.

But do mention the dog and the radio if anything else is said.

Gosh I wonder how they’d react to my neighbour blasting sweary rap music And shouting all day long!

YANBU at all. Football can be annoying with the constant thudding and smacking into the fence. Or worse if they kick it against the house! But it doesn’t sound like your boys were doing any of those

@Merryoldgoat your comment made me smile, when we moved into our house, my boys were very young, the previous occupants had 4 children & a drum kit!

I bumped into the elderly neighbours one day, and they said to me your children, I took a deep breath, they are so quiet! Really made me laugh, if you gave me a hundred words to describe my boys quiet wouldn’t get into the mix 😂

A football constantly thudding against any surface is very annoying. I have young kids but do not let them kick ball against anything. If you don’t usually have issues with this neighbour then it should be clear that it is causing nuisance.

I’m sat here in my garden with ndn boy kicking ball again and again against my fence and around his garden. It’s a horrible sound the thud thud. I don’t cadre about music or screaming or even drilling! But there is something very anti-social and annoying about a ball thudding against surfaces.

Just read other comets for perspective I’m in my early 30’s. I absolutely hate the sound of footballs so it’s not an age thing at all!

Oops excuse spelling mistakes on phone. *comments

OP the sound probably doesn’t annoy you cos they’re your kids. Do any of the other neighbour kids play footy in garden? My other ndn also complain that it’s annoyingly the sound of football but we never have said anything. Trust me if one person on street finds it annoying the rest will too.

Any noise that goes on for hours is annoying but it sounds as if your neighbours are the ones doing this not your children.

I find children kicking footballs in the road outside far more tiresome than kicking them in the garden next door, as they're none of them very good at avoiding the cars!

She's BU, not you. It wasn't late, doesn't sound like it was noisy either and you have every right to enjoy your own garden x

Why not try this - go inside and close windows and try to listen if you can still hear The ball. I can hear the football every day from upstairs in my bedroom and from my living room with tv switched ON when all windows are CLOSED. My baby has awoken with the football bashing against fence numerous times. It is very annoying sound. The neighbour wouldn’t be complaining for no reason!

YNBU but you're neighbour is. I have the whole kids playing in the garden. A lot of younger families have now moved in .
It's doesn't bother me hearing the children playing. The loud music does. But I have a dog who when she hears neighbours will go and bark. I'm working on this with training. NDN now talk to my dog and she doesn't bark at them.
When you live in close proximity to each other, there's a thing called give and take.
Lock down seems to have bought the good and bad out in people.
Made me see some of my neighbours in a different light.

I don’t like sitting in my garden thinking that a case ball - the heavy leather type ball - will come over the fence and hit me. I would make them play with an air ball - the type they sell in Spar for a couple of quid.
And don’t let them repeatedly bash it against the fence.
Other than that, tell them to get stuffed.

Were they screaming and shouting lots? If not, utterly ridiculous of them to complain. Yes sometimes other people are annoying - trimming the hedges all day long, squeaky swing etc. We sometimes have a little moan about it but that's life. They need to buy a property with no neighbours!

Your neighbour is well out of order - just tell her to get lost next time or ignore altogether. Kids are much better off outside playing football than indoors on devices - don't let her put you off!

My NDN is nicknamed Foghorn Leghorn, and has been sitting in her garden with family for the last hour. She has yet to pause for breath. I think I'd prefer the sound of small children playing with a ball to be honest.

My 14 yr old plays footie in the garden he has a 10 x6 ft goal and hammers it in there. I don't give a stuff what the neighbours think, he is out there playing between 10 and maybe 8ish on and off. They complain about it but they have been having drunken parties every Friday and Saturday until the early hours as long as they have lived here - including the duration of lockdown.
If they were more considerate then maybe I would limit him but they are not so I don't.

Carry on. They were being totally unreasonable.

Ignore them, your kids areowed to play in their own garden and they aren't being unreasonably loud.

I think it’s sometimes a build up of things not just the one thing you think it is. In my case anyway. As you said she’s had kids so obviously she’s aware kids make noise. In my experience yes I find the football annoying, but I have not said anything to the parents. I seethe quietly, other people in past have also complained about them and maybe to them I don’t know.

It’s not just the football the “ kids” They’re not little btw, they annoy me and I have kids of my own! They will for example stand on a chair and throw things over the fence (food, rubbish, toys), they will scream “can I have my ball back”, and the parents don’t say anything! As long as you are heard to be telling the kids to be sensible and mind the neighbours then that will help.

Our fence was out in a short while ago and the eldest who kicks the ball has already damaged it! Parents can see obviously but not even remotely ashamed as he keeps doing it! I get tempted to say something but then I think no I don’t want bad feelings. As you can tell by the amount of posts I’ve made here It’s diverging that really bothers me. I’ve had countless moans about this. Try to think what else has happened to get your neighbour in this mindset.

Children need to play. We love to hear the young boys across our back playing out in the garden, it makes no odds whether they're running around playing hide and seek or kicking their football around. Their balls invariably end up in our garden and they come around and politely ask for them back. I find the music from one of our other neighbours a lot more intrusive when sitting out. People tend to forget that they probably made as much noise when they were younger. In fact probably a lot more considering the amount of time parents complain that they're on computer games. Let them enjoy themselves, especially now when they're deprived of so many other things.

I'd tell the neighbor that the only people who can say what we can and can't do in our yard are the ones who pay the mortgage. And any further input from her won't be needed.