Was I in the wrong to give away these items?

[MrsVMorgan]

A family member was staying with us for a while. When he moved out, he left his hamster in his room as he had a very large cage and there was no space in his new room to accommodate any of it. The room wasn’t needed at the time so it was fine for the hamster to stay with us (although not ideal!)
We were then left to care for the hamster (for atleast 6 months), with no involvement from him. We cared for him (including sending pictures etc to him while rarely even for a response).
The pet died. He came round and removed it from the cage and took it away in a small box to pay his respects etc (not sure what he did). He isn’t planning to get another.

We were left with the cage and all the accessories, hamster playpen etc.
Someone on my local Facebook group was asking about hamster things so I said she could have a box of all the stuff we didn’t need (food, toys, new pet bedding etc that were not in the cage).
I have left all of his hamster’s toys in the cage (which he says needs 2 people to move as it’s very heavy). The things I gave away were just additional things that were in a box and not touched anyway.

The family member has now found out that I gave away his hamster stuff without his permission and is very angry about it. Apparently it is disrespectful to him and completely despicable (his words Amongst others).

I apologized and said it wasn’t things that his hamster was using in his cage etc (they are all still there) and seen as we had been the sole carers of his pet for the past 6 months that I didn’t think he would be that bothered.

Aibu to have given the stuff away? I realize I should have asked him, but he had taken no interest in his pet for many months and expected us to care for it. (He thinks he might be able to remove the cage in August!) I enquired about a company to remove it and dump it for us as it’s massive (it’s a huge ikea glass cabinet on its side) but they wanted £60 to do it!

Was I unreasonable?

[WorriedNHSer]

If you do find he never gets around to removing it himself and you need to arrange to get rid of it you shouldn’t pay to do it.

Just join one of the uk hamster Facebook groups and advertise it on there and someone will happily take it off your hands. You could probably even find someone willing to pay for it.

[Clymene]

He dumped his stuff at her house. She doesn't owe him any courtesy at all

[pictish]

Oh no. He’s a chancing, disagreeable sod. He can knob off.

[Gulabjamoon]

Ugh what a nob. Has he been contributing to the costs if you taking care of the hamster?

Text him and demand the £60 for removal of cage and the estimated costs of taking care of hamster.

He probably wanted the hamster for a Facebook post.

[pictish]

I agree. Text him and tell him he can pick it up himself with immediate effect or he’ll be giving you £60 for uplift.
Cheeky bastard.

[Tlollj]

How big is this cage! It takes two people to move a hamster’s cage?
I probably would have said come and get your stuff or I’m giving it away.

[curiousierandcouriser]

He was definitely being cheeky, string the unused pet stuff at your place. However, I agree with Bluntness that you should have given him a date to collect it by before giving it away. A simple "Please collect your stuff next week or I will be giving it to someone who needs it" would have avoided the drama. How would you feel if you stored things with a family member and they unilaterally decided to give them to someone else?

[SoupDragon]

So, presumably you gave away food and bedding that you purchased?

You should have mentioned any items he bought though.

You absolutely should give him a deadline to remove the hamster cage.

[CrunchyCarrot]

I'd have given the whole lot away, cage included, to someone who would really need them. I have absolutely no time for people who treat animals this way.

[Coffeecak3]

Ring a pet shop and ask what it would cost to board a hamster for 6 months.
Send an invoice to friend deducting cost of things given away.
Job done

[NoHardSell]

That sounds more like he gave away his pet/with its stuff.

Either way he is a cheeky fuck.

[lilgreen]

You should have asked him after seeing the advert. He’s wrong to just leave his stuff with you but you’re also wrong to give it away without checking. You’re only a text away fgs!

[Mix56]

You paid & looked after his animal for all those months for nothing, you still have this massive cage. I would apologize, saying you are sorry this has upset him, you didn't realize, as he showed complete disinterest since X date, & that he will need to remove the cage within X days, as it will be going to the tip. you are not a free storage company; If he doesn't remove it, sell on fb & recoup your money spent

[Cadent]

Like fuck would I apologise to the twat.

[lotusbell]

When the hamster died and he came to collect it, what was discussed then about the remaining items? I'm.not sure why you could not have sent a quick text to say the stuff was in the way, could he come and collect it asap? The whole situation is a bit odd - huge unnecessary cage, then leaves it with you instead if putting in a smaller cage and taking it to the new place, not interested in your photos and updates but comes to collect it when he dies, doesn't mention what he wants to do with the cage and accessories? Why have you kept hold of it for so long?

[SoupDragon]

This guy abandoned the hamster for 6 months until it died!

[Bexandlex]

Are hamster cages heavy then lol? No you are not being unreasonable as it's your home. Perhaps you should have said to him if you want these things come and get them as they are in the way. But nope I don't see the issue. Anything to do with hamsters like food doesn't cost much.

[Mawbags]

Is this your grown up son OP?

It’s so entitled I can’t imagine any other type of relative doing that

[Tlollj]

Can we have a pic of this hamster mansion.

[SoupDragon]

The OP says it's a glass Ikea cabinet. I remember the gerbils at school used to live in a large fish tank so I imagine it's similar to that.

[Fizzysours]

He should have looked after his own bloody hamster. Is he eight? God, tell him to come now for the cage or STFU. YANBU

[Fattyboom]

If he had no involvement for 6 months who had bought the food and bedding? If it was you then it wasn't his to get annoyed about

[SparkyBlue]

He abandoned an animal and people like that really make me mad. You really need to think long and hard before getting a pet. My children are mad for a dog but right now I know it's too much responsibility for us so that's why I am not getting one. You stepped in basically and gave the hamster a home. No way would he get an apology from me. He should be thankful to you for all the care and attention the hamster got. Has he ever asked to come and collect the cage or any of the other stuff? If not then tell him to get lost and that the cage is being given away as well unless he collects it ASAP and let him know that you hope to god he never abandons another unfortunate animal

[DDiva]

No you shouldn't have given his stuff away. If you didnt want his stuff in your house you should have told him to collect it.

[LIZS]

Unless you had paid for them they were not yours to donate. Did you get anything for them? If you no longer want the stuff he left give him a deadline to collect. Can you not dismantle the enclosure?