To want a cleaner

[HettySunshine]

We have three children, dd aged 6 and b/g twins aged 4. Boy twin is almost definitely on the autism spectrum and is very full on.

I work 4 days a week in a stressful (but enjoyable) job and dh works full time, also in a very intense role. We both really dislike housework.

Now that the twins get their 30 free hours at nursery, and will be starting school in September, we can certainly afford £50ish a month to pay for some help (we are extremely lucky in this respect).

My husband is not happy with the idea of getting a cleaner. He flaps his hands vaguely and says it would be embarrassing, but isn't able to really explain who he would feel embarrassed in front of or indeed how anyone would know if we don't tell them.

Our 'spare' time is full of children, washing, cooking, washing up etc. and things like vacuuming the stairs and properly cleaning the kitchen and bathroom just don't happen.

My family always had a cleaner growing up and DH's didn't, I imagine this probably colours both of our opinions.

I'm not being unreasonable to want to get a cleaner, am I? I'm tired of being stressed every weekend trying to clean while the children go along behind me messing everything up again.

I wouldnt get a cleaner. I'm sure lots are great, but they will never do as good a job as you can. I have worked with lots, it is a low paid high turnover job that the majority of people really dont want to do. In my experience often cleaning starts well and then deteriorates. There are lots of ways to cut corners, like spraying scented products and only cleaning areas that notice can you tell how jaded I am by having to check work.

Well,my cleaners been with me for six years since I moved here and she does a great job, better than I could.

Many cleaners do a fantastic job and are worth their weight in gold.

Best luxury ever!

Yanbu would definitely get one and no idea what's embarrassing about it!

Ours is £12 an hour so £50 would do 2 hrs fortnightly. Definitely worth it.

Do it do it. We stopped ours on my DH's say and it was a terrible mistake

Make sure he's always out the house when they come

And if he won't commit to weekly/fortnightly just say you're getting a once off one now and again to help you keep on top of stuff. Then gradually make those more regular

I'd give up many things before I gave up my cleaner.

She does 2hrs a week and does kitchen, bathrooms, sweep/mop/Hoover all floors, polishes/dusts and one other thing such as paintwork or windows. She keeps my house ticking over very nicely and I only have to keep it tidy in between. She charges £10ph.

I can't wait for her to come back, hopefully next week.

So a very definite yes from me.

Go for it. The cleaner can come when husband is out of the house .
Suggest you decide together what jobs you would most like cleaner to do and any you don't want them to do.

This would be a lifesaver. I had a cleaner in every 2 weeks for a few hours at a time and I can say it actually saved my marriage and my sanity. Some extra expenses are actually really worth it. I've never been the type to get my hair done or nails/lashes and my husband knows that so he was the one who arranged the cleaner and it actually made us a happier couple. Maybe calculate the time you spend cleaning with your husband and mention all the stress that comes with it and show him £50 pounds and say this money would remove all these hours we spend cleaning and all the stress that comes with it.

If you can afford it, do it. It's brilliant. My mum doesn't get why I have one, but I loathe cleaning, and while I can afford it I will!

I'd love a cleaner, when I have more money once debts are paid off I'll definitely be looking into getting one. I'm a lazy person who hates cleaning, I have quite an intense physical job with long hours so it wouldn't embarrass me one bit!

Neither DH nor I grew up with cleaners. We love ours. In fact I'd go so far as to say that unless you enjoy cleaning, why wouldn't you employ one if you can afford it? Especially with 3 DCs.

Ours charges £10 an hour. 2 reception rooms, bath, kitchen and 3 bedrooms takes her 2.5 hours a week.

I pay £50 a week for my cleaner. She is a godnsend. Ignore your DH and get a cleaner. You'll have more time and a cleaner house !

I would recommend anyone who can afford it to get a cleaner. I would far rather spend money on buying time with my family than any material item.

@MinnieMountain
How can she do all that in 2.5 hours?

I gave up on cleaners. Loved having one when they did a good job, but what I found was after several months they all slackened off as I was out at work when they came and were not doing their hours (asked a neighbour to keep an eye out) and wasn't worth the hassle as it was grating me and ended up redoing it

yep, I got a cleaner when dd1 was just 2, and I was told I needed to do more hours at work. I spent a proportion of the extra for the cleaner to focus on floors, kitchen and bathroom. I still dust etc. she's only in for an hour a week ( I know not all cleaner will do that but she's a friend) and it forces us to tidy every week.

Yanbu just get one

I've tried a few cleaners when I've been struggling and always been hit with lack of reliability and very mediocre cleaning jobs. I've ended up deciding for us, it's easier that I clean less often and do it properly myself. Even if you do pay a cleaner to come 2 hours per week, you are still going to be spending significant time cleaning/tidying up each week, living in a house with 3 young children.

Still, I can understand if you're stressed out with the thought of cleaning, a cleaner is going to take the edge off for you.

You're going to have to spend more than £50 per month though. I'd say cheapest self employed cleaners in our area (North West) are £12 per hour, so you're looking at nearly £100 a month for a 2 hours per week.

@Tlollj to be fair, reception room 2 is a conservatory which she just hovers and mops. I don't know, 20 years experience of cleaning? She told us how long it would take her when she started cleaning for us.

Get a cleaner definitely.

If your husband doesn’t like it ask him to just trial it for a month to see how it goes and no one needs to know you have a cleaner if he feels uncomfortable with it.

After a month I’m sure he will love it as he will easily be able to see the benefits of it.

Fair enough. Send her to me please. Takes me ages to do mine😀

To make the most of it I would do the tidying and the cleaner cleans, so I wouldn’t be asking them to tidy rooms but to hoover, dust, change bed sheets, mop the floors and wipe marks off walls. Tidying is pointless with kids and your better off doing that yourself

Get a cleaner, they’re great.

Mine comes twice a week, on day one she generally vacuums throughout, deep cleans the bathroom and my sons room, she also does laundry and hangs it to dry. On day two she deep cleans the living area, kitchen and my room, she also irons some of the dry washing (shirts and stuff).

I tidy before she comes, but she has a little basket so if I have left anything laying around and it doesn’t have an obvious home (like a cushion) she pops it in the basket so it doesn’t hinder her. If I’m at home while she is cleaning she will just give the item to me rather than use the basket so I can put it away there and then.

In lockdown I didn’t have her in for a while, she knows what I’m like so she was texting me to give me daily cleaning tasks 😂

Fine, if your husband feels that way then he can do all the cleaning! I think a cleaner will make life a hell of a lot easier and free you up. Life is too short when you are busy. I 100% vote for for it! How about suggesting it as a trial, if you husband is reluctant?

We are moving shortly (hopefully!) from a flat to a house. We are going to have a cleaner to deep clean the old place and then come weekly to the new place. We both work a lot and want some time to ourselves