Page 3 | 'Crushes' are rarely one sided

Truedak · 2020-06-19T22:05:14+00:00

Inspired by a conversation with a friend, I think that when a woman is really attracted to a man, it's rarely one sided. I reckon most men would fancy a woman that seemed into them. Am I wrong?

welcometohell · 20/06/2020 10:05

I don't think that's true. But I think some women are very good at seeing what they want to see when they have a crush on someone. Like my colleague who was always insisting that the very young, very good looking admin assistant was "flirting" with her when all he ever said was "Good Morning".

BlusteryShowers · 20/06/2020 10:13

Whenever I've had a "crush" on someone, they've been well out of my league and I've (I hope!) done nothing to let them know that I fancied them.

I met my DH online dating so it wasn't that sort of scenario.

DanniArthur · 20/06/2020 10:45

I've only had one 'crush' and it was my mentor when I first started my job. I was an awkward chubby 18 year old and he was a confident man in his early 30s. It was never going to go anywhere as he saw me as a child even though it was painfully obvious I had a crush on him. I've been working with him over 10 years now and nothing ever happened despite everyone teasing us because I fancied him. I also grew in to a fairly attract woman over the years but still he never asked me out when we were both single... although I'm glad now as we wouldnt have worked in a relationship

Original poster

Truedak · 20/06/2020 11:54

I agree that if you're romantically attracted to someone, i.e. you really like them as a person then there is probably a fair chance that the object of your crush doesn't feel the same way. I suppose I'm thinking more in the sense of that if you're very physically attracted to a man and show that by flirting, he in most cases would also be physically attracted to you and would want to sleep with you.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 20/06/2020 12:01

@Truedak

I agree that if you're romantically attracted to someone, i.e. you really like them as a person then there is probably a fair chance that the object of your crush doesn't feel the same way. I suppose I'm thinking more in the sense of that if you're very physically attracted to a man and show that by flirting, he in most cases would also be physically attracted to you and would want to sleep with you.

Do the men you know have standards that low?

I have 3 sons and a husband and I can honestly tell you their standards are much higher than that.

PumpkinP · 20/06/2020 12:36

I think what you just said is completely different to the op, yes I agree that most men would sleep with a woman that fancied them (but I don’t think that means they are always attracted to them, in a lot of cases it would just be for a shag)

makingmammaries · 20/06/2020 12:46

I think even men are a bit choosier than you imply, OP. There are really quite a lot of men that don’t shag everyone who flirts with them.

Chocolatefixeseverything · 20/06/2020 13:21

Completely missing the point here but the lime and mint one with rum and soda water makes a cracking mojito, I find the advert very judgy I'm more of a Ribena girl myself

Pelleas · 20/06/2020 13:38

if you're very physically attracted to a man and show that by flirting, he in most cases would also be physically attracted to you and would want to sleep with you.

Honestly, OP, I don't want to be unkind but you really are talking bollocks. Listen to the people here with experience of this - it doesn't happen like that. What you're saying would only happen if he was physically attracted to you anyway, in which case your flirting would give him a green light if he wanted to take advantage of it. If he isn't attracted to you, all the flirting in the world won't make a difference.

StillTheUglyDuckling · 20/06/2020 17:54

if you're very physically attracted to a man and show that by flirting, he in most cases would also be physically attracted to you and would want to sleep with you. OP you’re not listening. If you’re physically attracted to someone and you’re not physically attractive, then that person isn’t going to be physically attracted to you.

And I agree with PP that most men wouldn’t want to be seen to be having slept with someone who isn’t physically attractive. To their friends it makes them look desperate.

I’ve been lucky in that I’ve not had insults thrown at me, but I’ve had plenty of experiences where the assumption has always been that of course I was a safe person to be around because of course nobody would want me. And even women have always assumed that about me.