having lived in the U.K. for a while where you all seem to speak completely different versions of English
I can remember furious arguments at University over our orders in the chip shop;
“Chip Butty, please?”
“A what?”
“A Chip Butty”
“Is that Chips with butter? We don’t do that?”
“No it’s a Butty, you know...a Butty?”
“Battered Chips? Like a Scallop?”
“I think he means a Chip Roll?”
“What the fuck is a Chip Roll?”
“It’s a roll with chips on!”
“Ohhhhhhhhhhhh you mean a Chip Barm!”
“A what?! A BALM? Or a bomb?”
“Barm. A chip barm. Barmcake.”
“Yeah like a Bap”
“Isn’t that a rude word for boobs? Get yer baps out for the lads?”
“No a bap is a roll innit? Or like a barmcake!”
“A bap is NOT a Barmcake. Baps are shiny and barms are floury”.
“Like a morning roll”
“a murronning roll? What’s that now? God it’s not even that difficult it’s just a roll and some chips on! Look, I’ll just have some cheesy chips.”
Serving lady glares...”CHEESE? On chips?”
Everyone stares.
“Bloody southerners.”