Im pregnant and due mid September, the baby is mine and DH's first DC.
I am incredibly close with my mum and I am heartbroken to say she has become increasingly unwell over the past few months. She is now booked to have a very serious operation next month that will take her months to recover from. We have worked out that all being well she should be mostly recovered by the time DC is born but of course there is no guarantees.
My MIL has very kindly organised a virtual baby shower for me which my DH informed me of the other night. All the females on his side of the family will attend via Zoom and my MIL is sending some decorations and other party bits to our house that my DH can put up for me. My MIL messaged me to ask who I wanted to invite from my family / friends, I explained unfortunately my mum would be in the hospital when the baby shower happens and I would prefer if she didn't know about it.
My reasons for this are I know for a fact my mum already feels guilty that she is not feeling well enough to support me during my pregnancy, and due to her going into hospital she is currently shielding so she cannot see me. I do not want to add to her stress or guilt and tell her that my MIL is organising my baby shower as I know she will be hurt, even though she doesn't need to be.
I have asked everyone who is taking part not to post anything about it on social media and I have asked my sister not to tell my mum. My sister is being a bit snotty about it saying she doesn't feel comfortable keeping secrets, even though she knows it won't make my poor mum feel good.
I know my mum has been so excited about our DC, as my sister has no children and my brothers children (my nieces and nephews) are naturally closer to their maternal grandparents. My DC will be my mums first maternal grandchild and she has said that meeting the baby when she is recovered is what will get her through her operation and recovery.
I am already stressed, upset about my mum, pregnant and not coping and my sister is making me feel worse. I just want my mum to get through her op and focus on getting better without making her feel guilty for not being there for me. AIBU for wanting my sister to respect my wishes?