Mums of daughters career minded ( no grandchildren yet career minded now 27)

[lisajane1966]

Does anyone relate to being a mum so is on Mumsnet but doesn't feel they can relate to people on Gransnet as they have grand children.My age is 53 I have a career orientated daughter aged 27?
I seem to be in an inbetween world of Mumsnet and Gransnet, I am older with no young children to look after, no responsibilities except to myself and my husband. I am free to do what I like so feel younger and not 53. My point is I feel to old to relate to younger women but want to relate to older women who are in same situation.

I'm 71 and yes, I have grandchildren, but that's not my primary role in life.

As a woman with a lively interested in a wide range of subjects I prefer MN.

I've looked at Gransnet but didn't bother joining as you really can't find the same sort of interesting discussions or the level of entertainment that you get on MN nor, it has to be said, the trolling and nastiness, which is particularly rife on AIBU; although that has its own entertainment value as well.

I'm 69, my DD is 50 this year and menopausal ( dear lord, is she ever menopausal) so the grandchildren boat has well and truly sailed. I stick around on mumsnet mainly for the political discussions. And the occasional batshit post like the poster who entertained visitors on the drive and, in a different post, offered to take her neighbours shopping home, without the neighbour. I don't care if she was a wum, she made me laugh. I wish she'd post in that vein again

Am a year older than you
Still have 2 teens
Hope all my children will have careers
Very few if any of my friends from my young days settled down at 22
Or even 32

Don't worry, grasshopper. Some of us are pensioners.

I’m 55 with teenagers. I’ve never thought of going on gransnet. My kids may have kids or they might not. But I’m not putting my life on hold waiting for them. I met the father of my children when I was 30. Took us years to decide to have kids. Career or not people have kids at all different ages.

53 is young!

And it's great your daughter is career minded. You must be very proud.

I thought grans net was Aimed at grans in their 70s
No idea why I thought that

Oh how odd, “career minded”! That’s a very old fashioned way of describing your daughter.

You are only 3 years older than me and I have a wee 7 year old child, I suppose I was “career minded” !
Don’t think my mum was right bothered by having to wait for me to reproduce, I hope not any way.

I'm older than you, l had kids in my late 30's - l spent my 20's travelling, working and getting hammered at gigs and festivals.
With all due respect you have a slightly weird take on who should be doing what when! If you like it here, stay here - easy!

this world that is so different to when I was younger. e.g. I moved in with my husband when I was 21 but now adays that is not the way with young women

I don't want to sound mean, but you seem curiously rigid about things - "in my day things were one way, girls are so different now" and defining yourself by whether you have children but not grandchildren, etc.

You're 53, OP, which means you were born in 1967. You were 21 in 1988. That is hardly some far off time when women all married straight out of high school and were expected to think of nothing but family and children (even in the eighties, "career minded" women weren't exactly an aberration).

Maybe you'd have more success finding people who were like you if you thought about who you are as a person, aside from age and the age of your children. What are you interested in, OP - skills, views, activities, etc?

You're 53, OP, which means you were born in 1967. You were 21 in 1988. That is hardly some far off time when women all married straight out of high school and were expected to think of nothing but family and children (even in the eighties, "career minded" women weren't exactly an aberration).

Maybe not in UK, but I suspect OP might be originally from a different country.

A lot of women have their first baby at 40 nowadays. 53 is not old.

I’m 56. DDs are 29 and 26 with no children. I hope it stays that way and they continue to enjoy their lives without being tied down. Couldn’t care less about being a “granny”. In fact, the very word makes me shudder.

@SchrodingersImmigrant - good point, I apologise for making assumptions

Just hide all the pregnancy, baby names, child-rearing and education topics, and whatever else you aren't interested in. Then you won't see any of those threads.

I am 57 and have children aged 19 and 16. I don't consider myself to be old at all. I don't really know what Gransnet is for tbh. It seems ageist to me to segregate the Grandmas into their own little corner. People of all ages can post on Mumsnet, including those with grand children!

@FineWordsForAPorcupine tbf I am making an assumption about OP here too (based on language used)

My mum is just few years older and my nan was losing it because mum wasn't married by 21😂

I don't really know what Gransnet is for tbh.

Actually, that was my reaction when I looked at it.

Do women who happen to have grandchildren really need 'their own little corner' where they can sit in their rocking chairs, crochet antimacassars, boast about the antic of their wonderful grandchildren while discussing their old lady ailments?

Not for me.

My youngest is 22 eldest 27 no babies yet,

I'm here there is loads of older women with adult kids and there is lots of things to talk about that doesn't involve weaning or schools,

What an odd outlook. I'm in my mid-40s and can't imagine feeling as you do in a few years. I hope I stay young at heart for a good while yet.

I'm the same age as you, have recently become a grandmother thanks to my (also career minded) daughter, yet it's never occured to me that I must now hop over to Gransnet. I don't understand where you're coming from at all OP.

I don't understand where the op is coming from either is she feeling left out of Mumsnet because of her life stage or to old I am not fully getting it either.

I'm quite baffled by the OP, too. Even describing your daughter as 'career minded' is odd! (Would anybody describe their son that way?). I'm only 4 or 5 years younger than you and I just don't recognise the 'everybody settled down at 21' POV. I don't mean it never happened, but I don't think I was viewed as an oddity because I didn't.

You describe yourself as young at heart, but you really don't come across that way!!

She will hopefully have children one day

I hope you haven't relayed this to her. Lots of women 'nowadays' choose not to have children, regardless of whether they are career-minded.

I feel quite with it in my 50s until I read some post about old-fashioned in-laws and they are 55 or something! I always remember one thread where a poster in AIBU asked why “old people” liked airing cupboards - “old people” being 50+.

But then again when I was 20 someone my age would have been totally dead or at the very least extremely embarrassing.